Is this my hormones? Im normally quite reasonable!

[sally12]

OK this is my situation...

Im hoping for a homebirth so if all things go to plan I will be recovering at home and DH and I will be in charge of "the visitors." The problem is...I have an overwhelming urge for my parents to be the fist to visit! My first question is...is this normal? Did any of you feel this way?

My parents live about 1 hour & 15 mins away but my parents-in-law only live 40 mins away so when the call goes out "feel free to visit" I know that my parents-in-law will be the first on our door step They are very nice but I have a feeling I will just want to see my mum!!!

Second question...would it be really wrong if I were to give my parents a 'heads up' so they can get here first?!

Third question... am I right in thinking that if I mention this to DH he is likely to get upset?

Fourth question...is it possible that after the birth i will want to show my little one off to the whole world and wont care who lands at my bedside first?

Sorry for all the questions, I just cant get this straight in my mind

Thanks for any help ladies x

 

[Hazel]

Why not explain it to them and have them all visit at the same time? The in laws could wait half hour then they would arrive at the same time?

 

[purple13]

i don't think its hormones hon - its perfectly reasonable to want to plan your visitors.

i would have wanted to see my mum first too. she passed away 2.5 years ago though. because i was finding this hard (still do ) we asked OH's parents to stay away til we called them (they were 1hr away. my dad & brother didn't need asking - they just knew i'd call them to come when i was ready (they were 3 hours away)

anyway, the in-laws turned up at the hospital when i was 8 hours into labour. i refused to see them and sent them away. i'm still really angry that they put me in that position when they knew i didn't want them there, and why that was.

still, they were the first to meet connor the next day and i didn't mind that so much - i made sure that they were coming when i said they could come, and they didn't outstay their welcome. my dad was worried about crowding me and almost needed persuading to come down the following day and stay overnight with us!

so in answer to your first question, yes i think its normal

why don't you tell both sets of parents to come to your house at a set time after the birth when you feel ready - ie both sets to arrive at 4pm for example. then, if you fancy a bit of subterfuge, tell your mum how you feel and ask them to arrive 15-30 mins before whatever time you tell them IYKWIM? then your OH won't have to know how you feel, your OH's parents won't know how you feel and won't feel shunned, and your mum will get to meet your LO first

as far as the 4th question goes - be prepared to not want to see anyone at all! visitors and newborns are an exhausting combination. warn everyone that they come to see you on your terms only. and make them do housework for you when they do come (seriously!).

good luck

 

[Jade&Evie]

you've got plenty of time to worry about this yet.

After you have the baby all you will want to do is sleep TBH!

 

[sally12]

why don't you tell both sets of parents to come to your house at a set time after the birth when you feel ready - ie both sets to arrive at 4pm for example. then, if you fancy a bit of subterfuge, tell your mum how you feel and ask them to arrive 15-30 mins before whatever time you tell them IYKWIM? then your OH won't have to know how you feel, your OH's parents won't know how you feel and won't feel shunned, and your mum will get to meet your LO first

I like your thinking I think this solves it! Thanks!

DH is going to have to be really strict about not letting my mother-in-law in whilst i am in labour! She asked me last night if she could be there with me...I said "No...DH is lucky that he is allowed in!" there is keen and then there is TOO keen!