Irrational fear

[katie22]

Ok so I've never said this to anyone out loud but I've always ever since I was young, had an irrational fear that I can't have children. Nothing has caused this at all but it's constantly at the back of my mind and now that I'm TTC for the first time it's totally stressing out. Has anyone else had this or have any suggestions ?
Thanks

 

[J9nine]

I didn't have any fears, always knew I would be a Mum but now that we are TTC I am quite stressed about it all and I think irrationally. If you had asked me a year ago how long it would take to concieve I would have said "oh, it can take ages, 6 months to a year". Now we're actually trying; 4 months in I am so frustrated that we haven't had a BFP that I am making myself uncessarily anxious. Time to destress!

I think when you want something so much there is always this fear that you won't get it.

Fingers crossed for you Katie.
x

 

[katie22]

fingers crossed for you too hun, i guess its just one of those thing that you dread the most isn't it ? x

 

[Unicorn]

I can completely relate to this. Whenever I was asked or talked about having children I would always say 'If we can have children' not 'when we have children' and then when I got older and so many people around me struggled to concieve I was really aware that it may not be straightforward. And it really wasn't! However, if there is anything I have learnt through the whole process, with myself and others, it is that it is amazing what your body can achieve, whatever hurdles there maybe. I don't know anyone who has wanted children who hasn't been able to have them through some means or another regardless how hopeless the prospect seemed!
So, I suppose what I am trying to say is that hopefully there will be absolutely no reason why you won't conceive very naturally but also not to worry about what may be as anything is manageable! The main thing that will prevent you from conceiving is stress, so give yourself the best chance and try to relax and if things don't happen within 6 months or whatever timeframe you want to give it go see your gp and start investigations, which may mean something as small as hormone supplements but you will have your baby xx

 

[katie22]

thank you this really made me feel better about it all, it doesn't help that I'm in the last few days of my 2ww and its killing me haha ! xxx

 

[Unicorn]

Yeah, that's a really difficult time, but also very exciting Good luck xx

 

[katie22]

thanks I'm trying so hard not to test too early haha xx

 

[Unicorn]

Do you think you might be? How many dpo are you? xx

 

[Phoenix85]

I had my first two when I was really young and got pregnant first month of TTC with my first, which really helped as I would have stressed if it had taken a long time.
Then my second was conceived the 2nd month of trying.

Then I split with their dad and wasn't in a proper relationship for years, but then I started seeing someone and although we weren't trying, we weren't preventing either, and I did start to worry I wasn't very fertile any more as I was with him for a year and nothing happened and it was over 8 yrs since I had my last baby (though 5/6 years since I had a very early m/c)
Well that relationship ended in July and in late September I started seeing someone new (casual though, not in a proper relationship). We had sex just once in October and I ended up getting pregnant by him.

I think it happens when it's supposed to happen & the best thing to do is relax and not think about it too much, just have fun trying lol

 

[katie22]

Do you think you might be? How many dpo are you? xx

to be honest I'm not sure i just keep thinking my body is tricking me and I'm 13 dpo xxx

 

[katie22]

I had my first two when I was really young and got pregnant first month of TTC with my first, which really helped as I would have stressed if it had taken a long time.
Then my second was conceived the 2nd month of trying.

Then I split with their dad and wasn't in a proper relationship for years, but then I started seeing someone and although we weren't trying, we weren't preventing either, and I did start to worry I wasn't very fertile any more as I was with him for a year and nothing happened and it was over 8 yrs since I had my last baby (though 5/6 years since I had a very early m/c)
Well that relationship ended in July and in late September I started seeing someone new (casual though, not in a proper relationship). We had sex just once in October and I ended up getting pregnant by him.

I think it happens when it's supposed to happen & the best thing to do is relax and not think about it too much, just have fun trying lol

i hope so ! i just get nervous as I've never really had any 'pregnancy scares' before either and people seem the get those a lot in my social circle haha xx

 

[kittykitchn]

Completely relate to this! I absolutely knew I would have trouble, for no reason at all since I was a teenager - unfortunately was right, BUT here I am half way through my first pregnancy. Just remember, if there is something wrong, it's likely it can be sorted xx

 

[katie22]

Completely relate to this! I absolutely knew I would have trouble, for no reason at all since I was a teenager - unfortunately was right, BUT here I am half way through my first pregnancy. Just remember, if there is something wrong, it's likely it can be sorted xx

im so happy to hear about your first pregnancy! i don't know what caused it or where it came from just for along as i can recall I've always said 'if i can have children' not 'when i have children'. i hope its just me being my paranoid self though hahaxx

 

[snowbee]

Yes I'm in the club too. I've always wanted to have children but always had doubts that it would happen. I can't really imagine it and the longer we ttc the harder it gets to picture it happening. The absolute worst part for me though is wondering if it does finally happen what if I hate having a child. Stupid really but these things do go around in your head.

13dpo means not long to wait now! Good luck! I'm 8 dpo on our first clomid cycle and I'm itching to know if it has worked

 

[katie22]

Yes I'm in the club too. I've always wanted to have children but always had doubts that it would happen. I can't really imagine it and the longer we ttc the harder it gets to picture it happening. The absolute worst part for me though is wondering if it does finally happen what if I hate having a child. Stupid really but these things do go around in your head.

13dpo means not long to wait now! Good luck! I'm 8 dpo on our first clomid cycle and I'm itching to know if it has worked

im super excited for you!! please keep me posted !!
its such a relief to know I'm not the only one!! when i told my partner about this he diddnt quite understand, and he doesn't know why I'm on this forum either! must just be a man thing!
he seems to think its so easy as he unexpectedly had a child with his ex girlfriend and he doesn't get why I'm freaking out so much over it ! xx

 

[Unicorn]

A test should show up positive at 13dpo, particularly a FRER xx

 

[katie22]

hmm i didn't know that i think i may need to go and get myself one ! xx

 

[liz85]

Hello!!
I am the same I totally understand where you are coming from . I have no idea why but I always thought that it would take me a while to have a baby. Hope I'm wrong!! 3rd attempt trying. It's unnecessary stress but it's hard to put it at the back of my mind.

 

[phonixgirl]

And me! I think I wanted it sooo much and my periods were always so heavy with bad pains that I did worry. Turned out I was right but I'm sure a lot of people worry and it happens I feel more positive now and am sure it will happen somehow now.

Kitty - I can't believe you are halfway through already! Wow! Xxx

 

[kittykitchn]

And me! I think I wanted it sooo much and my periods were always so heavy with bad pains that I did worry. Turned out I was right but I'm sure a lot of people worry and it happens I feel more positive now and am sure it will happen somehow now.

Kitty - I can't believe you are halfway through already! Wow! Xxx

It's gone stupidly quickly. So scary!! xx