Influence Discussion

[dannii87]

I haven't replied in the Enid Blyton thread because, to be honest, I don't actually think I've ever read one of her books so can't comment

But, it has got me thinking, how much influence do we (as parents) REALLY have on our children?

My Dad: Is a full blown racist, he claims he's not and that he just says the stuff he does for effect But he clearly is. Anyone who says anything derogitory (sp?!) about someone is judging them. He is also very homophobic & can be extremely sexist at times. He blames this on his upbringing, but I don't buy it at all.

My Mum: Is the complete opposite, she is extremely open minded and completely non-judgmental about anything. She hates racism, sexism, homophobia etc. She just used to roll her eyes when my Dad made stupid comments and would tell us when we were kids that it's because he's very uneducated and shallow minded. But she never really sat us down and told us he was wrong, she'd just tell him to stop being so disgusting & vile.

My Opinion: I'm TOTALLY the opposite to my Dad... I am all for ALL types of relationships - Be that hetrosexual, homosexual, bisexual - whatever. I also am completely against racism. Racism in my eyes is purely judging someone by their skin & anyone who does that is disgusting. I have psoriasis all over mine! - Same thing then? Surely?

My Dad's opinion has NEVER rubbed off on me in the slightest. I was always disgusted with him for his views, even at about 7 years old. Yet I am much more opinionated than my Mum, so I don't think her views rubbed off on me either? I'm yet to see evidence that either of their opinions/views have rubbed off on my 2 brothers...

I just wonder, however we raise our children, will it really play a part on their views on things as adults? xx

 

[Little Bump]

That's a tough one really....

I'd like to say yes, but really it's coming down to the age old nature/nurture debate...

Take my family for example. My parents are law abiding, straight laced individuals....yet my older brother has made some terrible life decisions, with strong consequences. These choices were both legally and morally wrong, and my parents obviously didn't condone this behaviour. It was an outside influence that encouraged this behaviour, he was brought up knowing the difference between right and wrong, and knew what he was doing was wrong, yet did it anyway. He has no conscience, never has had.

To a certain extent I think you do influence your children, especially in terms of things such as their language, behaviour towards others etc when they're younger, right from wrong etc, and hope that common sense prevails when they're exposed to the not so nice influences/temptations.

My father sounds a lot like yours, however it hasn't influenced my feelings, I have gay friends, straight friends, black friends, foreign friends....whereas my mums love of animals has influenced me....but then to add another equasion to my long, very drawn out theory HAS my mums love of animals influenced me...or, say, would I have lloved animals anyway, it's just that having so many different animals around growing up gave me the confidence to take on (so many of) my own?

 

[lfc_sarah]

Id say yes but... its also infulenced a lot by school/friends or whoever we spend the most social time with growing up