Inconsiderate husband goes back to sleep

[LucyLuck]

hi there! It’s 5am and I’m 9 months pregnant and due sometime between tomorrow and the day after. I haven’t slept at all and have a consultation tomorrow at 10 so that my doctor will try to induce my labor without medication (I better have my daughter very soon since my body is overworked and she is huge and I’m 40 weeks.
The reason I’m not sleeping is that my husband and I have a 3 year old little dude who probably is overexcited and couldn’t sleep. My husband is sleeping in the leaving room lately since I need the air condition pretty high and also he is working a bit late at home lately. What is really upsetting me now is that while my husband went to sleep around 1 am on the couch, I was sleeping in the bedroom. But our son woke up and kept calling so I went to him, time and time and time again. He had all sorts of reasons to call but all a bit “bullshit”. Ok, around 3 am I asked my son if wanted to sleep in my bed with me, he said yes. He layed by my side and for half hour we spoke softly and I explained we needed to sleep and his sister was going to be born soon and so nice.... and he threw up!!! Like crazy. All over me and the bed and then the bedroom floor. 4 times he threw up and then started crying of course. While I calmed him down and took both our clothes so we could shower I called my husband who failed to show up and then went to wake him up. Both me and my son covered in Vomit and naked went to wake my husband and ask for help. While I showered with my son I saw my husband pass in the corridor silently once. Apparently he got up, went to our room and went straight back to sleep in the living room. No questions, no cleaning our bed, no cleaning the floor, no asking if I needed help with son, what happened, how about contractions... I found him sleeping again and woke him up furious!!! He replied, “it’s 3 am, you were taking care of things”. Is it me or my husband is an idiot???? I’m probably going into labor in the next 24 hours and not having slept at all!! I seriously don’t want to see my husbands face soon. I’m so tired and huge. Am I missing something? Is it reasonable from his part? My son is sleeping now in his bed and my husband on the couch. I’m not so pisseeeedd

 

[mummybear2]

I would have been furious too. That’s not ok. Sure no one likes to be woken up to clean up vomit but he should be supporting you and helping with your son.
I would let yourself calm down a bit and then have a conversation with him.

 

[night owl]

I think men sometimes try and get away with being as lazy and selfish as possible, and other times they need direct instructions, he says he thought you were dealing with, so it sounds like you could have been a bit more direct and told him you needed him to get up and help, he shouldn’t really need telling that a 9 months pregnant woman might want a bit of help but I don’t think men really understand how hard pregnancy can be, just speak to him and tell him in circumstances like that you would expect him to ask you if you needed help

 

[Kitana]

Men can be very inconsiderate sometimes but like @night owl said, they need clear instructions if you want them to do something. I sometimes feel like I have 3 children iso 2 because I feel I'm giving orders all day long...
It sounded like your LO was already brewing something but didn't know how to tell you. My DD1 vomited in the car 2 days ago and had just told me her tummy was hurting, I thought she needed to poo but nope, she started vomiting soon after. She learned the word now though!
Sleep is so precious right before birth so I understand the frustration but I think most women at 40 weeks are already exhausted due lack of sleep before the baby comes. I remember I wanted to be rested with DD2 before she came but I had awful contractions during the night and couldn't get more than 3 to 4 hours of sleep before birth.
Try to sleep the day of the birth, that's when they are the most sleepy. I had forgotten how intense the newborn phase was. Hang on him! It's almost over!x

 

[LucyLuck]

Thank you for the message! Yes, I now understand I should have been more clear and ask clearly for help. I spoke to my husband this morning and he barely remembered waking up at all. But it’s outstanding how clueless men can be. I don’t think all men are like this but it’s definitely something many of them share.
My dear son was probably already not feeling well but he failed to mention pain in the stomach or anything. He was just very agitated and chatty and then... vomits. He once did the same in the car as well. As a payback to my husband he stayed all day with our son because I didn’t wanted him to go to kindergarten until he is well. Our baby girl will be born tomorrow if all goes well!

 

[LucyLuck]

totally true. Men can be soooo lazy! My husband is more lazy than inconsiderate actually. But he is a bit clueless too,
... I need to point out obvious things all the time, often twice. Today I met him with my bitch face and told him he needed to stay with our son while I went to the maternity ward for a final check. I mentioned why I was pissed and He barely remembered the scene at night. He didn’t realize our son was up all night until 5 am and he didn’t realize he vomited all over our bed and bedroom floor because he didn’t know our son was in our bed to begin with. So he felt a bit bad about it and a bit worried. Basically he was sleeping in the living room, woke up with me saying our son vomited and went to our sons room that looked clean, he never checked our bedroom that was super nasty full of vomit. That’s why he went back to sleep... he just saw me showering with our son. still I have many stories that show a certain apathy from his side... laziness, but yesterday night was a bit my failure to explain to him. Sigh... thanks for the support. Our son was totally fine today, just sleepy. Baby due tomorrow

 

[LucyLuck]

I would have been furious too. That’s not ok. Sure no one likes to be woken up to clean up vomit but he should be supporting you and helping with your son.
I would let yourself calm down a bit and then have a conversation with him.

Thank you as well for the support!! I spoke with him this morning and it was a bit of a misunderstanding ... he never heard me or our son during the night so he never realized our son was up until 5. He never knew our son was trying to sleep in our bedroom so when I called him and he passed zombie style in the corridor he went to see our sons room which was clean while it was our room and bed that was a mess!!! Anyway, he was a bit surprised and worried this morning. He is lazy and confused most of the times I get super shocked sometimes. but last night was not as inconsiderate as I thought. Thank you so much for the support. At 5 am and lying in a sheetless
Mattress smelling of vomit I was very upset. Bless you

 

[Kitana]

At least your oh realized why you were upset!
Good luck tomorrow!x