In an absolute rage!

[mayday]

What is wrong with my dad? I gave him the good news at New Year, with the strict instructions that it was a SECRET and he wasn't to tell ANYONE! So how come my cousin who lives at the opposite end of the country rings me tonight to offer her congratulations? It would seem that my dad just couldn't wait any longer and and rang his two brothers this afternoon. One of his brothers then rang his wife, who rang her younger daughter, who rang her older sister, who rang me

The other brother he told has a wife who couldn't keep a secret if her life depended on it. I was furious and rang my dad to give him the dictionary definition of a secret and he went mad at me, saying he could tell his brothers anything in confidence and I was making it up. I rang my mum for a bit of comfort and she confessed she had also told members of her family and just a few friends, oh, and some of the girls at work. Why did I want to be a spoilsport and ruin their fun?

I asked if they couldn't have just hung on for another 10 days until I have my scan and would have been happy for them to make a big announcement. I mentioned my sister's wedding in a couple of weeks time, and my mum said I was being selfish for wanting to steal her glory on that day, although I hadn't thought of it like that because my sister is getting married abroad and having a party 2 weeks later. I tried to explain I would be far happier having waited and should anything go wrong in the first trimester I wouldn't have to stand at my sister's wedding in front of 180 people and and have them offer me condolences all night.

My thick, thick parents still couldn't see what the problem was. So I told them in future I would be unable to trust them with secrets if they couldn't see that secrets mean they can't tell anyone them. Shortly after that I had my sister on the phone telling me I had really upset my dad. She agreed my dad had been stupid but that he couldn't help it and I shouldn't shout at him for it cause it upsets him. How can a man who is a successful business man with many letters after his name not be able to help being stupid?


So now I am the wicked witch of the west and noone in my family is talking to me because I have been mean and spoilt their fun in telling news they shouldn't have been telling.


Rant over. Aargh.

 

[Hypnorm]

If this is their first grandchild i can understand how excited they would be.
They want to tell the whole world because they are over the moon for you.
My parents were the same, be glad that they are happy.

 

[eightball]

Hi, I can totally understand why you're angry! It's horrible to feel out of control about who knows about it at this early stage.
I hope everything calms down for you and they learn to understand why you've been so upset.
10 days will fly by and hopefully things will calm down.

xxxx

 

[topbird]

yep... been there! see my thread from a few days ago!

http://www.pregnancyforum.co.uk/forum/v ... hp?t=24002


Parents hey! I have given my mum and dad strict instructions they are not allowed to tell their friends this weekend, bet they do anyway!

Wish we had not told anyone now, if I had not been ill and Christmas had not got in the way we definitely wouldn't have.

try not to be too harse on them, think my mum has forgotten what being pregnant is like, how scarey it is, especially the first time round!

 

[Tick-Tock]

I know what you mean. I told my parents just before xmas and told them not to tell anyone until after the scan. I was on the phone last night and told her that i had told my boss, and that he took it really well. She got upset about how my nan doesn't know but my boss does (My parents live on a small island, if I tell more than my direct family everyone will know in minutes). I then accidently let it slip how my best friend, who i have known for 26years, knows. Which didn't help the situation.

I worked myself up into a tizz about how I had upset my mum and then realised, it's MY SECRET (well mine and my OH's). We can tell who we like, when we like.....

 

[whyslifesobig]

wish I had parents to tell good news to for that matter wish I had good news to share
Life is full of bad news so when people hear good news they have to share it. I know you wanted to keep it a secret til you 12wk scan but don't be too hard on them being happy for you. This is going to be the best 9 months of your life do you really want to be fallen out with your family at this time over this? It's a natural fear you have about not telling anyone but don't let this fear spoil your happy time.
Good luck with the scan and congratulations

 

[Sabrina]

Hi Mayday

Sorry to hear about you being upset with your parents for spreading the news of your pregnancy. I suppose, on reflection, they were only doing what comes naturally and were just excited.

I know it's frustrating though because same thing happened to me. *Shrug* I tell my parents at 6 weeks and say keep it quiet because there's a lot that can happen. Next thing I know my cousins are aware of it!

They just don't think things through sometimes.

Good luck with your scan!



Sabrina

 

[gingerpig]

My mum did exactly the same thing, it was quite tricky. Especially as she kept on talking about miscarriages as well....... I decided not to fall out with her, but if the worst had happened I was going to ask her to take the responsibility of telling people - I kind of felt that was appropriate. That's kind of because my mum doesn't often respect my wishes though, so it might not be appropriate in your family. As a couple of people have said, it is so exciting for our folks, it's probably hard for them to be pessimistic and therefore wait until the 12 weeks is up. The people I did tell before I was 12 weeks I was quite glad too, because if I had miscarried I knew I'd want to talk about it. I really only told mum because I felt guilty having told friends but not her.

Personally I think it's a bit of a minefield, and if (and it's unlikely) the worst does happen no one can predict how they will feel. Good luck and

 

[valentine]

Hi mayday,

I totally understand your frustration - see my post on topbird's similar thread, a few days ago - arrrggghh! I was mad for a similar but other reason!

Good luck for your scan next week - make sure you tell us how it goes!

Valentine xxx