I'm not ok!

[Selina13]

Hey ladies,
Feeling a bit sorry for myself and within 24 hours I'll try to be back to pretending I'm ok again, it just helps to talk and not feel so alone.
I don't want to bore my friends with the same old talk but I feel completely broken and useless at the moment.
I have a lot going on and ttc take priority over everything because me and hubby are desperate to grow our family. We have to move house in the next few weeks, I'm looking for a new job (I am working shifts which is horrible) and I have ovary scan and blood tests to see why we aren't getting pregnant/ took so long to get pregnant then miscarried twice.
I'm starting to feel like my life is passing me by with the whole ttc and I'm unable to see a future without having a child.
To top it all off it seems like pregnancy announcements are coming thick and fast which really is starting to hurt, why can't I have that!?
I know a lot of you will be feeling the same and to you I send lots of hugs, I would send hope but I'm losing mine.
I have a good life and I recognise that but why can't this one 'natural' thing just happen for us when it comes so easy to others?! My friend recently had a termination as she and her Boyf weren't getting on and it's a 'bad time' to have a baby, this really hurt me and even though I supported her I felt I needed someone to support me because I felt so upset by what she was doing when I have had no choices!
Anyway thanks for letting me rant maybe I will be able to sleep and wake up feeling a tad better in the morning.
Xxx

 

[snowbee]

Aww big hugs to you, don't beat yourself up everyone with infertility feels this way at some point. Let it out as much as you like here. When are your scans and bloods being done? Hopefully that can give you some answers then you won't feel so hopeless. Although it was scary (as I'm a wimp and hate doctors) I found having the tests made me feel better. What sort of new job are you looking for, will it be a total change from what you are doing now? I made a massive change to my job, I loved my old job even though it could be stressful and high pressured. The choice was really made for me though as I was made redundant as were many others in my type of job across the country so I had no choice but to do something different. I love my new job too, although the huge drop in money has had an impact it hasn't been as bad as I thought. Sorry rambled on a bit there! Hope you are feeling better about things this morning x

 

[Blueflower]

Hope you are feeling better this morning? We seem to be surrounded by babies too, it really hurts sometimes and no one else understands & you can't say anything, they just think we are being bitter.

Maybe you should just concentrate on one thing at a time so it doesn't feel so daunting? And give yourself time to sort out the other stuff later. It sounds as if you've been through a lot. I hope things improve for you really soon.

 

[Selina13]

Hey ladies,
Feel a tad better today. Thank you!
Just focusing on finding somewhere to live and waiting on my scan next month and blood test next week.
Hopefully things will start to feel a bit better. Xx

 

[Gabrysia]

Hi Selina just to day so sorry that you're going through rough time. I know how you're feeling, during 2.5 yrs when we were Ttc we moved house x 2 (including move from Bristol to Cheshire) finished my accounting qualification, got new job and so my hubby, passed my driving license. How one is to find time, energy and enthusiasm to Ttc? At the end of the day you know what is most important to you, don't let other things to take over !

 

[Moley]

Sending you lots of love and hugs Selina x

 

[Selina13]

Thank you for your support- after all my moaning I got BFP this month!
I'm praying to god that I don't miscarry again or I'll be back to that dark place.
Hope your all doing ok. Xxxxxx

 

[snowbee]

Fantastic news congratulations!

 

[Blueflower]

Oh that's great!

 

[Sprk]

Great news! Congrats

 

[Clairabella]

Congrats on your BFP xx