I'm all set!

After feeling like a marathon runner who'd hit that proverbial "brick wall" for the last few weeks, in that this pregnancy seemed never-ending and monotonous, yesterday was a good day.

In the morning, I had a meeting with the maternity services manager and area midwifery supervisor who discussed my plans for a homebirth. I'm almost beginning to think that I might be able to have a baby at home On the other hand, I still have the sneaking fear that I'll end up transferring to hospital (again)! But the main thing is, the plans for the homebirth are in place at least.

In the afternoon, my local hospice sent a van round and the men cleared out loads of old toys, books, shoes, clothes and even furniture from my house to sell in the hospice's charity shops. I wanted to have a huge clear out to make room for the baby (who will of course be here a month before Christmas when my older two children will be getting more new toys). The men asked if I was moving house! It was so easy to arrange. Usually when I recycle, I fill the charity bags that come through the door, take the stuff along to charity shops myself or have a car boot sale. If you want to get rid of bulkier things though, just take a look in your yellow pages under 'charity shops': I was pleasantly surprised by how many charities collect donations. I'm a bit of a hoarder by nature, but I don't feel bad getting rid of stuff if it's going to a good cause.

But I digress! Just after marvelling at my newly minimalist (clutter-free) home, I re-filled it with things for the baby. In the evening, I got a load of baby stuff from my s-i-l. She even gave me a changing mat and a bath, as well as a moses basket, shawl, toys, sheets etc. I now have everything I could need for the first few weeks (and beyond)!

I still want to re-paint every available surface in the house, but at least everywhere is starting to take on some kind of order. I'm going to re-arrange the kitchen next! My nesting instinct is well and truly here

I know Calamitygem was saying in her post that she doesn't feel as pregnant anymore: I think it's because the time between anything exciting happening (like getting the pram/seeing the scans) and having the baby is such a big gap...but you'll find stuff to keep you occupied again soon.

How is everyone else feeling?

xxx

 

[Redshoes]

Jeez, quite a meeting for one of the most natural events in life there Wendy hehe So glad you feel things are moving in a good direction, and I LOVE the sound of clutter free, living in a 1bed flat with a baby means NO space
Very best wishes

 

Hiya Midna,

no, I'm not going to bother with a birthing pool this time. I've used them in both my last labours and although they're great for pain relief, I found them quite tiring to stay in any length of time because you can't really lie down in them to rest and you have to keep holding on to the sides. And if you're at home, you've got the bother of filling the thing and emptying it after the birth.

Luckily, I have a really big bath in this house, so that will be fine for the pain relief bit and I can just get out and collapse on a bed or on the floor to give birth I'm starting to think about the birth now and I'm just scaring myself! I think it was better first time when I didn't have a clue what I was letting myself in for. I'll have to do that positive mental imaging or whatever it's called: you know, the kind of "visualisation" that these self-help coaches/hypnotists like Paul McKenna encourage you to use, to convince myself that I'm going to have a perfect birth.

What's your ideal birth scenario? mine would be to get the baby out safely at home within 6 hours; breastfeed; have a cup of tea; have a bath or shower afterwards and then get into my own bed, with my lovely new baby in the basket beside me. All in that order!

Well, I've been so lucky with people giving me stuff. I've barely bought a thing for my baby, or else I'd be the same as you - with nothing in! No, that's not true, I'd still have the clothes from the car boot sale and the bargain breast pump I got

Yes, it's probably suppressed panic that's making your pregnancy fly by I'm starting to worry that, because I have everything in now, that something could go wrong...is that just me being silly?

 

Ah but Redshoes, just think of how much quicker your flat must be to clean than a bigger house! There'll be hardly any floor space, so that's a perfect excuse not to vacuum for a start I love any excuse not to clean. And you probably don't have a garden to worry about just now either - mine is always a bit of a cringeworthy jungle.

About that meeting - it wasn't that bad really. At my last antenatal appointment, my m/w started on about how I "might have to go into hospital" if I gave birth before 39 weeks, because they don't have their mobiles on outside office hours, how she was going on holiday a fortnight before I was due and that there was another woman booked for a homebirth at the same time as me etc. I thought that she was fobbing me off with the old "lack of resources" excuses for not having a homebirth so I did what AIMS suggest and fired off a strongly worded letter to the LSA, Supervisor of m/ws, my MSP etc. and so my Trust quickly arranged this meeting to promptly quell my one-woman campaign against them

I think they'd have offered to have the baby for me themselves if they could have Seriously, they were very nice and followed up with a letter immediately by email saying that they would guarantee me a m/w at home at 37 weeks. They also want me, or the LSA for m/w does, to send them my birth story afterwards. I just hope it's a homebirth story this time! But I'm not getting my hopes up too much....

 

I'm going to use a 'Medela mini electric'. It's a good make, but I'm not sure how good I'll find the pump. That's the trouble - you can't test breast pumps before you have the baby! I used a Boots one in the past, but always an electric because I would be there all day with a manual one. I'm using this one because it was reduced from £42 to £15 in Boots at the time (cheaper than a manual).

My babies both used to latch on early evening and I'd be there, on the couch, feeding them for hours. I doubt they'd have taken to daddy trying to give them expressed milk whilst I was in the building! The thing with breastfeeding is that it's not just the milk - babies just love the whole experience of lying there, connected to you, listening to that familiar heartbeat, smelling and touching you...it's a comfort thing as well as a food thing. They can sleep and suck at the same time.

There is a different sucking action between a breast and a bottle - and babies have to learn how to suck effectively (from one at first). This is why it's not a good idea to introduce bottles to very young babies. With this in mind (my daughter could never get the hang of bottle feeding and had to be given expressed milk from a cup), this time I've bought some of those bottles with the breast-shaped teat to try. But I'll only be using these if I have to leave my baby with someone a little later on.

I just think that there are other ways for dads to bond. Perhaps someone else on here can put me straight (and please do), but I think that dad - or anyone else - with a bottle is a poor substitute for a breastfed baby: a bottle will always be "second best" (not to formula fed babies, I hasten to add!). This is why I think if you want to give dad the chance to bond with his baby that he does it in different ways - perhaps by bathing and baby massage and that you keep your precious (it's hard to get a lot even using a pump) breastmilk in the freezer for when you have to go out and leave dad alone with baby.

Let dad do something that he can be "the best" at, something that the baby will look forward to being with him for (like reading a story/bathing, silly games). If you breastfeed, dad is never going to compare to that with a bottle, even if your milk is in that bottle. Or is my view too blinkered? What do other people who've breastfed think? Perhaps I've been too much of a martyr in the past and could have it easier this time? I'd love to know!

Expressing breast milk does feel a bit uncomfortable at first and you can be there ages, with your whole nipple being sucked through a plastic cone, just to get a few measly drops that there's no point in freezing. This can be off-putting, but you just learn what's best for you and you get the hang of it. It's easier to do when your baby is a few months old and taking a lot more milk, so that your body gets faster at producing lots of it. Then you can store it in breastmilk bags in the freezer and these can later be defrosted under hot running water and put into a bottle if you need to leave your baby with someone else.

The mechanics of breastfeeding aren't that difficult - I was lucky in that my firstborn latched on immediately after the birth and sucked away happily for 2 hours and that was him - easy to latch on - from the word "go". It's the sheer exhaustion of your body having to use up tons of energy to produce that milk and from the fact that breastfed babies enjoy it so much that they want to feed constantly.

No-one can prepare you for the amount of time you spend with that baby latched onto your breast (after those initial couple of weeks when newborns tend to be quite sleepy). It's the amount of time that the baby is attached to you - which means that you cannot get up to do anything else, or sleep properly, or anything but sit and feed! that puts most people off. And, as I said, if you are in the same building, the baby will want you, not a bottle of your milk, so no-one can give you a break.

I would be glad to hear of anyone's experience who has successfully mixed breast and bottle feeding, however.

When I breastfed my son 10 years ago, breastfeeding wasn't that popular, it was just something I really wanted to do. Nowadays, I've noticed that there is a policy (I think stemming from an international directive) to "encourage" breastfeeding. I use that word loosely because a few girls I know who've recently had babies have felt rather coerced into breastfeeding by being made to feel guilty if they don't. They are then left to struggle on with trying to feed their babies in a way that's not right for them. They're exhausted and tearful. That's wrong. People shouldn't be made to feel guilty with their choice of feeding. Breastfeeding is MUCH harder than bottle feeding and you should only do it if you really want to, not because you think it's "best" or that you'll be causing your baby some harm if you don't. I firmly believe that being a relaxed and happy mum is the best thing you can do for your baby, however you get there.

Sorry, I'll get off my soap box again - what am I like with these sermons?

 

Yes, Gem, you did have an awful time at the start. I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better now. Lucky you that you're still your original weight too. I've now put on about 3 stones and still have nearly 2 months to go

This is the biggest I've been in pregnancy - even at term - yet (touch wood), it's been an easy pregnancy so far. I've now got piles to go with my varicose veins and vulval varicosity though I'm just a mass of horrible, knotty veins and have a huge, hairy belly. But despite all this, I still feel good and full of the joys of pregnancy Luckily, I've never suffered from the terrible sickness that you did and can only imagine how difficult that was.

I'm starting to look forward to meeting my baby now.