i think my ex is scared

[lisas_lil_girl]

hi all,
would just like a bit of advice!?! 2 and half weeks ago my boyfriend ended our relationship, i am now 29 weeks pregnant!
he seems really mixed up as he says different things to me everytime i speak to him. he says that it is down to me moaning which has been causing arguments. we did argue before i became pregnant, but i feel so much more insecure since becoming pregnant. all he can think about is the bad times and does not think about the good times we had together. he says that if we remain friends who knows what will happen but he also said that its not definate that we will or wont get back together. i feel so low and empty without him and i didnt want this for our daughter. im not sure if hes mixed up or what. but now im all confused because before all this he was my life and i was thrilled to find out i was expecting his child. now all he seems to want to do is get drunk and as he says hes just getting on with his life. im hoping so bad that we will get back on track but i dont know??? is this a man thing or is it actually me?!??! any advice would be greatfully appreciated!!
thanks

 

[Robyn_]

hey hunni i was in a similar situation to you actually, my oh left me when i was 27 weeks pregnant, cos he decided he didnt want to be in a long term relationship anymore, men are weird.
But like after that he talked to me and every single time we talked i didnt know how he would react, we ended up falling out and everything not speaking for a very long time.

tbh with you id give it some space, maybe him having some time to chill out and you will help make things better,
he may, or may not be worth it hunni, i dunno about your relationship, but things will turn out alright in the end hunni
your little girl is all that matters right now, so keep looking to the future of you and her cos that IS all that matters it really is, if he isnt there and would rather be drinking then let him do it, he will regret it later on.
when he wants to know you nd your little one.

 

[lisas_lil_girl]

thanks for your reply. i just dont know with him. i and everyone i have spoken to sayas hes just very mixed up and confused. he still has/wants ties to me other than our lil baby. like wants to keep me on car insurance etc pay phone bill. just strange. i know he hasn't got anyone else and says he is not scared by the baby but i dont know. he is younger than me so whether or not he is just trying to have fun without having to ask to go out (although he never had to but did it anyway!)
people says hes stupid and that he must still have feelings for me. people also say he is miserable, but he says he ishappier and stress free so i dont know?!?!?
he wants to come to the antenatal classes with me and be there when she is born. whereas when we were a couple he didnt want to come to classes. he also wants to be involved on the trying to find a name for our baby.
he is supposed to be coming tomorrow but we will see he let me down at the weekend so lets see if he does it again!!

 

[kelsey]

Hi, how old is he? If you don't mind me asking. Maybe the realisation of responsibility has hit him and he's freaked out a bit. Men are strange creatures lol.

 

[Babylicious]

Maybe he just needs to get his head around things, like the others say men are weird

 

[lisas_lil_girl]

he is 22 and i am 24. he does say that the baby doesn't bother him at all and he isnt scared about the baby etc.
he just confuses me so much. i have just spoke with someone else who has said he isnt himself at all?!?!? why are men such strange creatures?!?

 

[lisas_lil_girl]

hi just an update,
just found out he is now seeing someone who has a three year old child, cant believe it, although he is denying it completely.

cant believe he would leave me pregnant and go to a ready made family! well he is welcome to it! he wont be getting no more tears out of me!

 

[Sherlock]

Aww I'm sorry things have turned out as they have for you. Sounds like he was confused about things and not able to be truthful and therefore maybe feeling guilty.

Sounds like you are being strong, which is good, hang in there.

I'd suggest, as difficult as it might seem right now, to try to remain civil to each other if you remain separated. You certainly don't need any extra stress and if he wants to continue to give finacial support etc, I'd seriously consider the options and take it if there. With a baby on the way, if he is able to help in some ways its better than struggling on your own with it all? Just a thought. I'm somewhat practical like that and have always believed in parents trying to remain civil and at least focused on their children should they separate. I know it does not always work, but hopefully people can give it a try, should they both wish to.

 

[trixipaws]

oh no im sorry sweetie

 

[lisas_lil_girl]

yeah. i saw him yesterday after a few little rows, and i said its not fair on either of us to be arguing anf can we remain civil.
i dont want ot be arguing, i think ive gone throu enough throughout this pregnancy already!! i just wish he wouldsee sense and come abck but maybe that wont ever happen. although it just doesnt feel like its ment to be like this, i dont know if im being silly and just hoping for something that isnt there or if it will happen!!! i wished u coiuld see in the future!!!!!!