i think i'm going mad!

[smokey08]

hi ladies

i feel so down, i think stress is driving me mad!
People just can't help but tell lies about me and it is really starting to hurt, can only ignore it for so long,

it all came to head today, OH lost his job back home in ireland so we decided to move to the uk and make a fresh go of things, he has started work but has to work 2 weeks in hand (so we have another 2 weeks before he is paid had to work a month in total as he is paid fortnightly)

he rang his mam today to say hello, and she asked how we were getting on, he told her all was good but struggling a bit with money for the next few weeks, she then let rip!!!

told him that she heard that i am an alcoholic!! and i'm the reason that we are short for money. (i'm working but for the next few weeks we only have one wage)

i'm not an alcoholic, i rarely touch the stuff, maybe once or twice a month! but when OH tried to defend me she was having none of it! the woman is in her 70's, when we were back in ireland i bent over backwards for her to help her.

how can she say these things, i'm so upset! don't know where to turn!! we are ttc at the moment so the stress can't be helping!

i dont know what to do, any advise would be great!

sorry ladies needed to get that off my chest!

 

[smokey08]

 

[Sam's Mum]

That's awful! I can't believe she'd say that, and to be honest it's none of her business what you do spend your money on anyway! I'd be so upset too I'd be tempted to phone her in a few days when you're less likely to tell her exactly what you think of her and ask her why she said that!

Hope you're ok...huge s x

 

[smokey08]

sam's mum . I think i will be giving her a call! i'm just still in shock at the moment. I have family members who are alcoholics and i've seen first hand what it does to people, and that is a road, i will never go down!!

OH tried to defend me, he knows i'm not an alco! when i'm not at work, im at home with him, she was having none of it! it just hurt so much because it's an issue with my family, and its somthing i feel very strongly about, spent the day in tears!!

I do not to go home on holidays and have people thinking that i'm an alcoholic!!

 

[Sam's Mum]

I'm so upset for you!! And I'm not sure there's anything you can do other than speak to her yourself! Surely if she honestly thought that and wasn't just trying to cause trouble she'd listen to what your OH had to say? Just remember that the people who know you - and all the people that really matter, especially if she's going to be like that - know you and will know that it's not true if they hear anything from her

 

[smokey08]

awww thank you hun! that is very true! maybe i should just hold off and see is there anymore said, to be honest i don't think calling her would be the best idea. i will never see her in the same light again. and i must admit i can get really hot headed at times when it comes to lies !!! lies can destroy a persons reputation, and i can't stand them.
but sooooooo much for the advise!

 

[Sam's Mum]

Actually, if she knows you at all and has no reason to think you are an alcoholic you're probably better off not saying anything to her, as I assume she's trying to make things difficult between you and your OH rather than showing genuine concern for your relationship - and if you show act as if her comments haven't bothered you at all - and show a lot more maturity than she's clearly capable of - maybe she'll respect you for that. If your OH has already told her what he thinks of what she's said I'm not sure anything you say would change anything x

 

[Nurse 26]

Aww hun, she sounds like an old bat! Sometimes I think mother in laws are sent to make our lives troublesome, I havnt had as much bother as you by the sounds of it but sometimes I want to throttle mine, its so awful what she has said. At the end of the day you know and your oh know you are not an alcoholic and that's more important than what she says! Def agree with sams mum, give her a call when you are calm and tell her what's what!
Hope you are ok hun! Try not to let these lies get to you

 

[smokey08]

thank you sooo much for your kind words! , i hate bringing bad vibes to PF, but it helps sooo much to have people to talk to, all my friends are at home in ireland and i do miss them a lot.... but all the girls on this site have been a godsend. thanks ladies, don't know how i survived without PF

 

[smokey08]

Aww hun, she sounds like an old bat!

funny thing is she always been nice up to now!!! so its very surprising!!

 

[Nurse 26]

No worries hun, pf is brilliant def couldn't have got through last few months myself without pf ladies

Its very strange she has suddenly turned on you, maybe ignoring her is best, you don't want to cause arguements between you and oh after all that's prob what she wants, I know it will be hard but try totally ignore her and be nice and that may get to her even more, after all she is prob expecting a reaction from you

 

[Princess81]

Yeah I wouldn't rise to the bait Hun, hard as that might be. She sounds like the one who is on an alcoholic rant! Is she bitter that you and her son left Ireland and it is presenting itself as her hurling irrational insults at you? Has she got mental health problems or depression? It all seems very bizarre can't chose family springs to mind!! Xxx

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

You took her precious son, and moved him miles away from her - she is livid!
Exact same thing happened to my closest friend. She lived in Wales whilst her boyfriend of a year lived near London (long travel on the train to see each other every weekend) so he decided to move to Wales and be with the love of his life. He dropped out of uni, quit his job, left his precious friends and family behind just to be with this girl. His family blamed her for taking him, making him quit Uni, making him lose contact with the family, etc..

She had enough after a huge argument with his half sister. Basically his half sister brought up silly things like, "When she was here all she did was laze around in her pajama's, don't you think that's a bit rude?" My friend said, "Sorry that I felt comfortable in your house". How pathetic the things were that she used against my friend! It was amusing but totally out of order.

Now my friend doesn't even visit them, she doesn't speak to them and her boyfriend now goes to see his family on his own. I don't blame her to be honest, they were really rude about her behind her back. If they can't be happy for their son then leave them to it, and the same goes to your mother in law. I fortunately get on with mine *touch wood it stays like that* but I've seen this happen a lot in relationships, always a war going on somewhere!

Take care of yourself and don't let the witch bother you! Would be nice to get an apology off her too
xxx

 

[smokey08]

Thanks girls! ye do have a point there! but the thing is, it was his decision to move, not mine! . maybe she does think that it was me that made him move??? we did everything for them when we were back home and got no thanks, her other sons were always better than OH!! maybe now she is feeling the pinch, because i know the other 3 won't run everytime the phone rings!!!

I always thought she was so nice but then again i should have known better, she always has somthing to say about somebody! she thinks she has 4 sons who are amazing (can't stand 2 of them myself) and 3 idiot daughter-in-laws!!! the 4th DIL is the very same as her (always nice to our faces but making up lies behind our backs)

am i happy im 500 miles away from the in-laws??? woke up this morning for the first time sinse we got here couldn't be happier!!!

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

That's brilliant. Well.. you're happiness is more important than anyone else's so don't drown in your sorrow's about the mother in law any more! She'll see sense at some point. xxx

 

[smokey08]

tiffany