I snapped

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by Gsygal, Jul 21, 2013.

  1. Gsygal

    Gsygal Well-Known Member

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    Hello all

    Well this evening has been a real stressy one :(
    Everything had been going so well, hubby and I had painted the new bedroom for his 2 teenagers 15 & 12) yesterday. Arranged for their new beds to arrive tomorrow. I'd been out and bought them new bedding.

    They stay with us every weekend, but are staying the whole week ths week as it summer hols.
    So the younger one was with us last night with a friend for sleepover. Older one slept out at friends.
    Picked up older one today and within less than 5 mins of them getting in the door they start arguing. Slamming doors, swearing at each other and being just horrid to each other. Hubby went up to sort it out, lots of shouting. Typical time with the pair of them really.

    So decide to take dog out and ask younger to come with us, so they can both cool off, and we can keep eye on her (she is the manipulator and preys on older ones mood swings)
    She refuses to get out of car, won't walk, won't talk, nothing.

    Get home, hubby goes for shower. I went to get washing in and older one is sat outside smoking (I know, but what can I say). Anyway, so no offer of help, no chatting. Just sat there with face on. Dog starts barking at neighbour, so I put him inside. Take washing in and bloody dog has got hold of rubbish from chips and shredded it all over. So get that off him and put everything in bin. The kids had just stuffed their chip boxes on top of bin, so it all falls out when I open it. Instead of putting it in properly, ie making an effort. So I had a moan at older one along lines of "why can't you guys do a proper job".
    She replies, don't take your mood out on me.
    To which I just snapped. "I was in a fine mood til you 2 came home and started bitching and sniping at each other"
    "I'll leave then, I won't bother staying"
    So I told her to get lost and leave e alone.
    She made some comment about my hormones and told me to fu#k off. Slammed doors

    So I'm sat on kitchen floor balling it. Dog is going crazy coz I'm crying.
    Hubby gets out of shower to complete carnage. They are on phone to their mum saying I called her bitch (I didn't, I said about them bitching at each other)
    She's shouting at him, telling he's a useless dad and she wants to go home. That she hates it here etc etc.
    So they got picked up. Hubby was super cross with me, cos "I couldn't just ignore it all and let him sort it" and now he's lost out on his week with them.

    They have no respect for him, me or our house. We don't get on, but when they are polite kids its easier for sure.

    So now I feel awful cos his week with them is ruined, but ill e damned if I am going to be treated like that in my own home.
    Grrrrr

    Sorry for long rant. I probably should have just bitten my tongue, but I had done that since lunch when the mayhem started.

    X
     
  2. merlin

    merlin Well-Known Member

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    Oh god, don't envy you at all........teenage step kids!! I have two step daughters, one 4 and one 6. Its been easy with them so far cause they are so young, I just treat them as I would my own, and am sometimes more the 'disciplinarian' than hubby. My ex had a daughter and I was with him all through her teenage years, it was very hard at times and there was only one of her! I did lose it once with her dad and her and it didn't go down very well! I never felt I could say what I thought about her and her behaviour so kept my mouth shut, and my ex was the same with my daughter. It did put a wedge between us in the end, but it was a lot more involved than just a row with the kids! It will blow over, but you do need to be respected, how you achieve that I have no idea. But I have always thought that with step kids you need to be able to sort them out, discipline them, tell them when they are doing wrong and both partners stand together and uphold what the other says. My hubby now is great with my daughter, he tells her like it is but gives her loads of praise and encouragement too, she is 16, she loves and respects him.


    Sent from my Nexus 7
     
  3. Gsygal

    Gsygal Well-Known Member

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    Yeah it's always been difficult. I met hubby when they were 9 and 6, so not really that cute little stage and old enough to have opinions and attitudes.
    I suppose I am pretty hard on them, I have pretty high standards of how I like things done. I was always brought up to work for treats and privileges but they just take take. Neither of them take pride in anything they do.

    They know exactly how to manipulate tho, all they do is go running back to mum, tell my hubby he's useless etc so next time he's trying to make it up them.

    It sounds awful, but they are just horrible kids. Really spiteful. Makes it very hard to love them.
     

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