I really really need advice!

[Froslass]

.

 

[Rayoflight]

She's 'vexed' eh? Really sounds like she's thinking you've done this all yourself and on purpose. Does she not know it takes two to tango?

Made me feel really sad for you reading this. Her reaction has caused so many problems for you and OH. If she hadnt reacted so bad do you think your OH would've been as hysterical? She's twisted it so it's all about her - her wedding, her failing as a mother etc. What a stupid cow.

Really hope you're ok. When you mention ending it do you mean with OH or pregnancy?

Xxx

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Oh sweet, that's VERY unfair of your mil! You shouldn't be apologising for anything! You were on the pill and it takes 2 people to create a baby!
I know what I would do in this situation and that's let her come to you and hopefully your OH will let go of her apron strings!
It's time to think of you and your baby not selfish other people!!
Good luck with your scan x x

 

[Froslass]

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[Crimson92]

I can't begin to understand how confused or upset you are, but I didn't want to read and run, and really hope everything works out for you xx

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

What a cow.
I agree with Rayoflight, Would your OH have been so upset if his mother hadn't have reacted like she did? It's something to consider. Me and my partner are both 19 also and although we are trying for a baby, it would also be life-changing for us, as I think it would be to any couple really. My closest friend fell pregnant just before Christmas, she's very much in love with her partner and they've been together for 2 years, She was about to start college and felt she wasn't ready, even though she'd love to have children with him, so she had an abortion. I was devastated. I really didn't want her to do that, and I was extremely angry towards him, as well as her a little. Her mother was very disappointed but very supportive, and she also told her boyfriend (who lives with them) exactly what she thought about the situation, but like it's said above, "It takes two to tango". I only wish your mother-in-law was supportive and understanding like she should be, but many people take things differently and like she said herself, it's something she will come to terms with and accept.

Take care of yourself and if others can't be happy, don't let them make you feel down!
I wish you all the best with your pregnancy xxx

 

[Iriki]

So sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time. I don't really have any advice but didn't want to just read and not respond. You sound like a very strong, intelligent and mature woman and I'm sure you can still accomplish everything you want to in life. It might just take a little while longer to get there.

Hope all goes well for you at your scan and will be thinking of you.

 

[midnight]

hey hun so sorry that you are going through this and especially with you having the worry of the bleed and early scan this alone is stressful enough, dont worry about the OHs mum she alone has to deal with how she feel about it its not your fault how she reacted she seems selfish to me as its not actually about her, if your oh wants to be there he will if he doesnt allow him to walk away himself iykwim hope everything goes well at the scan and you get the support from the people that should be supporting you xx

 

[teampc]

Blimey, what a horrible story.

Im not really sure where to start, I think you need to have a serious talk with your OH, explain that you are keeping the baby no matter what and you want him to be a part of both of your lives, but only if he sorts himself out, if he is going to continue to make you feel awful about it then he needs to go. You dont need the extra stress.

As for his mother.....what a horrible sounding woman...Im sorry but I would tell her to butt out, you dont need people like that around you, so once again make it clear you will be having nothing to do with her unless she makes some radical changes to the way she treats you

Tell them all that you are struggling with all the changes and getting your head around everything that is happening and will happen when the baby is here, and you need support and encouragement rather than all this negative energy.

Surround yourself with people that really do love and support you, think about yourself for a bit and helping your little raspberry grow big and strong

Big hugs from me to you

 

[tinselcat]

Wow how awful

From an unbiased POV your OH's mum sounds like a selfish attention-seeker. Looking at her comments, she's not even concerned about your OH, it's all about how it will affect her. The way she was going on you'd think you got pregnant to spite her.

I am glad to hear your parents are more supportive and hopefully you will find some other people who can help rally around you in this tough time - do you have any friends you can confide in?

Good luck with your scans and hope you feel better and all is well with the baby

x

 

[Froslass]

Wow how awful

From an unbiased POV your OH's mum sounds like a selfish attention-seeker. Looking at her comments, she's not even concerned about your OH, it's all about how it will affect her. The way she was going on you'd think you got pregnant to spite her.

I am glad to hear your parents are more supportive and hopefully you will find some other people who can help rally around you in this tough time - do you have any friends you can confide in?

Good luck with your scans and hope you feel better and all is well with the baby

x

I think she THINKS i did get pregnant to spite her! OH actually was seeing me take my pills (not that he should even HAVE to stick up for me) and said this to her and she still said "Well you'd better ask her again then!"

OH and I went to scan this morning, everything looks good! We saw the heartbeat and little bean moving about, I think it really hit home for OH...He gave me a big hug and told me he loved me..He welled up when he saw the heartbeat! We got a little picture and he kept looking at it saying "I can't believe thats our baby"..

I'm just going to have to concentrate on whats best for me and little bean, and OH too. I told him how I felt and he said he understands. He said he knows hismum is manipulative but whilst he still lives at home and she keeps him he needs to resepct her POV. We are planning on moving into our flat in the Summer, and although it's gonna be scary we're going to do everything we can to make it work.

Lets hope the last 5 years have done us good xx

 

[midnight]

aww so pleased all is well how nice that its was on v day and it kinda brought you and OH together as a unit stand strong together and you can beat anything even his mother hee hee

 

[Froslass]

stand strong together and you can beat anything even his mother hee hee

Hehe this made me chuckle

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

Glad everything is fine lovely, stop your worrying now and enjoy your pregnancy! Wish you all the best with the rest of your pregnancy, it might feel like everything is happening too quick but you and your OH are very lucky to have each other and now this little bean! Which is YOUR little bean! Enjoy it! xxx

 

[tinselcat]

I'm just going to have to concentrate on whats best for me and little bean, and OH too. I told him how I felt and he said he understands. He said he knows hismum is manipulative but whilst he still lives at home and she keeps him he needs to resepct her POV. We are planning on moving into our flat in the Summer, and although it's gonna be scary we're going to do everything we can to make it work.

Lets hope the last 5 years have done us good xx

Glad to hear you're putting yourself and your unborn baby first, you two are the most important in all this!

Sounds promising from your OH too, including him getting emotional about your scan. I hope it all works out for you

p.s. hope the baby gets to listen to lots of cheerful flugelhorn musik!!

xx

 

[Froslass]

I'm just going to have to concentrate on whats best for me and little bean, and OH too. I told him how I felt and he said he understands. He said he knows hismum is manipulative but whilst he still lives at home and she keeps him he needs to resepct her POV. We are planning on moving into our flat in the Summer, and although it's gonna be scary we're going to do everything we can to make it work.

Lets hope the last 5 years have done us good xx

Glad to hear you're putting yourself and your unborn baby first, you two are the most important in all this!

Sounds promising from your OH too, including him getting emotional about your scan. I hope it all works out for you

p.s. hope the baby gets to listen to lots of cheerful flugelhorn musik!!

xx

Aw thanks tinselcat! Baby wil def be getting to hear lots of flugel music! The scottish championships are coming up soon, and if we win or come second we get to go to harrogate and compete in the nationals!! But bubs will be here by then!! x Hehe x

 

[midnight]

stand strong together and you can beat anything even his mother hee hee

Hehe this made me chuckle

haha i was going to add if that fails a good stick to beat her with is just as good but thought better not lol

 

[tinselcat]

Aw thanks tinselcat! Baby wil def be getting to hear lots of flugel music! The scottish championships are coming up soon, and if we win or come second we get to go to harrogate and compete in the nationals!! But bubs will be here by then!! x Hehe x

Ooooh good luck with the competition!!!

 

[Squeakz]

wow. wow. wow. your mil sounds like a firs class cow! i can't believe that A) she went mental about you, B) She thought it was all about her and C) your OH obviously needed some support and guidance of his own and she wasn't there for her son!!

I realise how hard it must have been for both of you to find out about your lil bean and im not surprised it took him a while to get his head round, just as you had to. Sounds like he's been lovely though now!!!??? hows things going??She doeesn't seem like a lovely person ata ll and i wouldnt be too worried about permanently trying to keep her sweet. If she cba then its her loss. you're both gonna have a lovely little person soon and if she's being an arse then its her loss if she pushes you away huh??

I remember our first scan it was so blooming sureal. Just this crazy moment of actually realising that you have a heartbeat in you that isnt yours!! its crazy! you deffo need to destress, look after yourself cos ultimately if you're stressed your LO is and if you're happy and calm same!!

Ignore the biatch its not worth it! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Froslass]

wow. wow. wow. your mil sounds like a firs class cow! i can't believe that A) she went mental about you, B) She thought it was all about her and C) your OH obviously needed some support and guidance of his own and she wasn't there for her son!!

I realise how hard it must have been for both of you to find out about your lil bean and im not surprised it took him a while to get his head round, just as you had to. Sounds like he's been lovely though now!!!??? hows things going??She doeesn't seem like a lovely person ata ll and i wouldnt be too worried about permanently trying to keep her sweet. If she cba then its her loss. you're both gonna have a lovely little person soon and if she's being an arse then its her loss if she pushes you away huh??

I remember our first scan it was so blooming sureal. Just this crazy moment of actually realising that you have a heartbeat in you that isnt yours!! its crazy! you deffo need to destress, look after yourself cos ultimately if you're stressed your LO is and if you're happy and calm same!!

Ignore the biatch its not worth it! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Aw thanks sqeakz x

OH and I are doing a lot better now. I decided to bite the bullet and go and talk to his Mum. She listened to what I had to say and totally apologized to me because I basically told her she was out of line, though I understand how shocked she is. She spoke to OH and I and told us we should be jumping for Joy that we're having a little one, and that she will support us in whatever we decide. (Although she's a bit behind obv as we decided ages ago we were keeping the baby)I really think I was quite accomodating of her to be honest. I was a bit miffed she thought she could just apologise after a month of ignoring me basically, but for OH's sake (you can really see a diffrence in Him now that he doesnt have to worry about me and his mum not talking) I just took the apology. She did say "By all means be angry at me, but dont be angry at Him, he's done nothing wrong". Which does show that in her eyes, he is obviously perfect lol OH has said and done plenty of things to me over the past month that he should be sorry for, but likewise I have to him aswell.

I think we've realised that we're both still learning, neither of us have the answers, but we are so willing to make it work, and we're not just gonna give up. I love my little bean already, and I KNOW he will too, as he loves kids. We love each other very much, and I suppose if we work hard there is no reason why we can't make it work, and enjoy the journey!

We're gonna go on one last holiday before Babies born, cause once bubs is here it will be Butlins, Lego Land and Disney Mania our holidays will be filled with! x