I need to moan a bit

[Melanie]

I feel crap today.

Im lonely, no one living near me speaks English and my Hungarian well sucks. This is a bloody big house to rattle around in all day on your own. Part of me really wants to go back to England.

Richard wont touch me We used to have such an amazing sex life, the last time we had sex i was 14 weeks pregnant. It hurts a lot to be pushed away when you arent exactly feeling your sexiest ever! Yeah i look like the side of a house but hell i didnt get this way on my own!

My bloody dog has run around the house with muddy paws and now there are minging paw prints everywhere (who the fuck puts white floor tiles everywhere - idiots) I cant be arsed to clean it but Richard sure as hell wont.

 

[mummykay]

aaaarrwww hope u feel better melanie, doesnt sound nice bein on ur own in another country??

ur OH should b a bit more understanding tho,its hard to feel attractive bein pregnant!!!!

as for the dog prints, just leave them and if ur OH is that bothered about them then he can clear them up himself!!!

 

[budge]

well i had a day like this yesterday

melanie leave the muddy foot prints. Ask richard to do it later.
When does your mum come over to visit you?

 

[skatty]

Mel

I know how you are feeling being in a strange country, I have been in Denmark nearly two years and I still feel the same sometimes. I promise it does get better though and making even just one friend will make it better. Is there a yahoo group for foriegners in Hungary? There is one for foriegners in denmark and I have a really good friend from England here that I don't see much but get to chat to on the phone and moan and reminisce about England with. I felt a bit sad at first but I just made a post saying I'd love to meet an english speaking female for a coffee and she replied. I must admit I have now moved to a less cosmopolitan area where english is not so widely spoken and I know I am going to find it hard to make friends again. People tell me its easier when you have a baby! I am going to take a deep breath and go into a mother and baby group and hope someone chats to me, it will help me improve my awful, basic danish at least!

Are you planning on learning hungarian? If there is an informal class nearby its a good place to meet other foriegners.

It won't be the last day you feel like this but I promise that they get less and less and when you visit home again you will realise what a great opportunity you have living in another country. When I go home I love seeing friends and family but I also think myself so lucky when I hear how depressed they are with the daily grind and I honestly feel Denmark is my permanant home now.

If you are at an international hospital your midwife may be able to reccommend a pregnancy and Mum's club. I am sure there will be others just like you that would love someone to meet up and have a coffee with.

As for your DH perhaps he's feeling quite stressed with his new job and is forgetting you need some tlc. Why not make a nice dinner with candles and have a romantic evening together.

As for the dog she may be a little bugger making a mess but what great company, i don't know what I'd do without mine, she's my best buddy here. Those white tiles will be even muckier when you have a baby crawling and throwingfood around so enjoy not having to worry about hygeine for a while

 

[hayley]

sending you a big hug

it's not nice feeling home sick especially when your pregnant... feel free to rant away..

i agree your OH is probably stressed over his new job and has over looked the fact you need him too at this moment... skatty's idea of a candle lit dinner sounds like good... have you been able to get to and from the food shops? I don't suppose your drive. How far are the shops?

How about getting in that big bath of yours.. have you got some lavendar oil? get a good book or mag ad relax...

The days go slow when your home alone... this is my 5th week now.. Dh out at work and i thought i'd well have had my baby... i've just called and booked in for an eye lash n brown tint at the local salon to cheer myself up... do you have a salon close by?

Sod the tiles.. don't go forcing yourself to mop up if you don't feel like... the dog is only going to get them mucky again.

Hope you feel better tomorrow...

 

[Dippy]

Sorry you are feeling so down Mel, it's only to be expected, not only do you have the pregnancy hormones to contend with, but homesickness as well. My Aunty left England to go to Canada 25 years ago, she still gets the odd day when she thinks about us all and feels a bit low, but when she comes home and visits she said she could never come back, it's like we make things at 'home' sound better than they actually are. You have got a fantastic opportunity out there, just need a friendly ear to listen over coffee and a big chunk of cake. I'm sure you'll feel better tomorrow hun, we're always here to listen in the meantime....

 

[claireabell]

Aw hunnie...big to you....We used to live in Spain and sometimes that felt lonely even when I wasn't pregnant....as for the muddy dog prints....hey that'll clean up later when you're feeling a bit better....hope you feel better and brighter soon hunnie....
xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Amanda]

Aww Melanie, I've just posted my own tale of woe, then I've read yours and realised that I'm not the only one who is feeling down about things that normally wouldn't affect us.

We are so hormonal at the minute that everything seems 10 times worse. Things will get better hun, and in the meantime, you have us to give you lots of

 

[roxanne080]

Dearest Melanie,

about eighteen months ago i decided to have a three month working holiday in the UK ( I am maltese ). to cut the story short fifteen days after my arrival i met my beloved partner joe and stayed. now im pregnant and if i have a question or feel a bit lonely all i want is to sit down round the table with my mum and sis and a cup of tea like we used to do in the old days! now i cannot do it cos obviously i do not have family here and sometimes i do feel alot and alot lonely. joe bless him he is as good as a million dollars but it is not the same..i miss the beach, my family and friends and even the food! so do not think you are the only one..u are lucky cos a british person is not hard to find..but a malteser ( not the chocolatey ones) my god are really hard to find..so look on the bright side..a few mucky paws can be cleaned..husband may be afraid that he hurts baby ( alot of men go through this phase)..baby is coming soon..a big big bundle of joy that will give you all the happiness in the world..good luck dearest melanie and if you do feel really homesick please drop me a line and i try to cheer you up ( unless im hormonal aswell and we can cry together )

 

[chezzabell]

Sorry to hear ur feeling like that hun, i think everyine seems to be unhappy atm.

Sending u big hugs

forget about the house work hun

take care xxxxx

 

[budge]

melanie how you feeling?

 

[Melanie]

I feel better today. I used my crappy feelings to work up the nerve to call the first med centre and change my Dr from that nasty arse one i saw lol. So now i have a female Dr and the same midwife - i feel happier about that, i didn't realise quite how much that had been on my mind.

I spoke to Richard last night and he is going to enroll me in his company's Hungarian language classes. I'm going to concentrate on practicing driving at night with Richard all this week and then hopefully i will be able to drive him to work and have the car ( i cant own a car yet because our Hungarian residency hasn't come through) so i get into Budapest etc. Torokbalint is a lovely place but its out of the way. If the car thing works out then I've found a few groups i can go to which i think will help.

I decided that you are all right and if the house work starts to stress me out then fook it I'm not doing it lol

Richard and i talked a little bit about the lack of intimacy thing, he says he loves me and i believe him. He says its just really different for him now knowing our little girl is in there lol but we are going to work on it.

Thanks for letting me moan girls and for supporting me. I really do appreciate it. I'm sure it will happen again lol

 

[claireabell]

Glad you are feeling better hunnie, not driving can be a right pain in the butt...when we lived in Spain I couldnt' drive and it did my head in but mine was because of medical reasons...can't wait to learn to drive its gonna be one of the first things I do when I've had my baby now I've been given the all clear. You will feel much better - having more independence. Its good you had a talk with Richard that always seems to help. I think alot of men feel a bit different about their pregnant wives/girlfriends cos they know there's a little person in there.....When I was pregnant with Haylea we were being very intimate and she kicked his manhood..... I found this hilarious.. OH on the other hand didn't find this funny....hence we weren't that intimate after that... Sometimes its just the kisses n cuddles we need though isn't it ???
Anyway hunnie, so glad you are feeling much better and yep stuff the housework it will still be there another day....unfortunately...
Well take care hun
Love n hugs
Caire
xxxxx

 

[Melanie]

Thanks Claire. Its nice to have people who understand

I can legally drive over here on my UK license its just getting used to the whole wrong side of the road thing! Changing gears is a nightmare, i keep going to wind the window down instead Hopefully after this week and going out every night and over the weekend i should be more confident!