i need to have a rant

[babydust]

sorry but i really need to have a rant, and its a bit long

im am soo annoyed with my parents at the moment, firstly on saturday me and my mum took my little girl to the dancing and there was a parent there who was pregnant which i was trying not to see, but of coarse sh had to sit beside us and my mum started talking to her asking when she was due, and it was the begining of febuary, right when i would have been due anyway my mum said to her your bump is soo neat and looked at me and said isint it claire what the f**k does she expect me to say

 

[hotluck]

some people really do need to learn to think before they speak and do things.

 

[Steelgoddess]

I agree, and I think you should tell your Mum how insensitive you think her comment was...

My OH did something similar but he did say sorry and said he didnt think about what he had said until after he said it...

I don't know maybe it ws a way of your Mum helping you to get over your grief although I personally don't think thats very helpful.

Im sorry they werre insensitive hun

xxx

 

[DaisyRose]

Hi,

I'm assuming all your family know what you've been through!! Really sorry to hear about the insensitivity. I found, when I m/c, that most people I told about it didn't seem to fully appreciate the impact it'd had on me. I remember being gutted when 2 wks after my m/c I found out that my prev. pregnancy buddy was 15 wks - spoke to my Mum who basically, in more words, told me that I was being selfish and should stop going on about it so much. I also got other comments like "well, at least you've got two lovely girls' which were well-meaning, I think, but not really very helpful at all!

As I've said before, I think m/c is such a taboo subject that most people really haven't any idea of how to deal with someone who has been through it (particularly the older generation!!)

All the best

 

[miffy]

Sorry to hear what you've been going through.

I agree that some people, often the ones closest to you for some reason, don't realise the long-term impact of m/c. Just because you may seem alright on the outside, doesn't mean you're not hurting on the inside. Others just assume that you've moved on, because it's easier for them to deal with that way.

Hope things get better soon x

 

[mandspice]

I can really understand where you're coming from today Claire (just tried to Pm you but don't think it worked). It just seems as though people really do not understand how it feels and think that after a few weeks you'll be fine. It's been 3 months for me now and it still feels raw some days - today I had an email from an old colleague asking me how the pregnancy was going and then another colleague came in to show off her 9 day old baby - everyone was talking about her and the baby for ages afterwards, oblivious to me trying to hold it together in the corner.....

Thank God for this site xxx

 

[babydust]

im sure my parents didnt meen to upset me sometimes my mum just says things without thinking, i think im just being a bit over sensative, sorry about the email your friend sent you, things like that just seem to kick you right down, well chin up we will have a bfp soon

p.s i didnt get a pm