I need some help

[poochielove]

Hi, im just really upset right now. Infact i'm crying. it might seem like over nothing but i feel like shit.
I keep going to bed early because im feeling really tired at the moment and i ask my bf to come upstairs and give me a cuddle and he always says in a minute. I end up falling asleep and then he comes up about 2 hours later. I know hes on the internet which i aint got a prob with, he works hard and doesnt get a lot of time to see his mates. But on facebook his mate sends him these stupid things where you can flirt with other women. At first hes pleading ignorance as i set up his profile and hes new to it, when i ask him why hes added it. Anyway i was getting curious about this as random single girls kept adding him all the time. So i sneaked on his profile and checked his inbox (not normally like this but my hormones are everywhere) anyway its full of messgaes like "hi sexy and "your amazing" and flirty messages FROM HIM with NO mention of his fiancee or pregnant girlfriend NO MENTION OF ME AT ALL. Then wen they add him on his profile they say "oh i didnt realise you were taken" then he starts going on about how he got me up the duff and is shitting himself!!!IT WAS A PLANNED BABY. Making it sound like he has to b with me because he got me pregnant. I think i have seriously misread this relationship. I no he hasnt actually done anything but i feel betrayed. He hasnt just returned compliments but gone out of his way to message these girls and said things like "sexy lipstick" to one woman with red lipstick and he always tells me he hates it wen i wear it!!!!!!!! Its not just one girl i found messages to at least 10 or 15.
Sorry for the long post. Hes working at the minute and i need to vent so i dont deck him as soon as he walks in the door.

 

[mary70]

i would deck him when he walks through the door if my hubby was doing that, you need to talk to him hun and tell him how you feel

 

[A&J]

Not sure what advice to give really but really wanted to give you these


Like mary70 i would deck him when he walks through the door.

Can you not ask him about it? Have you got a facebook profile? If you have then just go onto his account like a friend would and if you see anything that you do not like then ask him by saying something like I was looking at your profile and saw .... what does his relationship status say? If it says single then just jokingly ask him why he has it as single. I hope that makes sense

 

[poochielove]

Yeh i have one aswell. His says engaged to me. But the thing hes been using is like one of them application things where they chat using the application so they cant see each others profile. But then the girls have been obv. thinking there in with a chance and asking to add him on his proper profile.
I will just be straight and say i snooped. He always snoops thru my phone etc. Iv rang him and told him when he gets home to stay out of my way. I need to calm down.

 

[A&J]

If he goes through your phone then he has no place to say anythink about you going through his messages. Like you say tell him straight and explain how you feel. Hope you manage to sort him out soon.

 

[amethyst_echidna]

Aw sweetie. I know that technically he hasn't *done* anything but he's still denied your existence to other women with the intention of adding them to his profile and then when he can't "hide" you any longer he's said that he got you pregnant by accident, and that to me is awful in itself. I suggest you sit him down and explain to him clearly what has upset you and why, and if he can't give you a reasonable explanation then you should kick him out. Yes that's difficult and scary but you'd be far better off without a guy that treats you that way without a reasonable excuse!!

Edited to add: I asked my husband for male advice and he said you should get the hell out of there... then apologised if that sounded harsh but added that he's sure you could do much better than that douchebag (his words not mine!) and he needs to grow up!



AMETHYST

 

[Beth88]

awww men can be really really stupid can't they.. i really dont have any advice, other than to talk it through with him. Don't just let it stress you out and overthink it, i think you should just ell him you aren't happy with it and see what he says.

I would feel heartbroken if my boyfriend ever said such heartless things about me, especially if i was hormonal etc so i can see why you are so upset

Try not to stress hun, talk to him...
xx

 

[hennaly]

my now husband did a similar thing to me before we were married and i threw him out, i was so angry even though he hadnt actually done anything as far as i was concerned he was doing it in his head, i think me being sooooo mad made him realise what he had done and it is not acceptable either he is with me completely or he can #### off.
Sorry to sound harsh but he is very out of order.
I did eventually forgive him and now trust him completely as i dont think he will ever do it again.
Put your foot down and sort it now as if you leave it it can only get worse.

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I think you should confront him and get to the bottom of it. Who cares if you looked - he should have anything he doesn't want you to see!!

xxx

 

[lea m]

- he should have anything he doesn't want you to see!!

xxx

EXACTLY!!
Dont you be worried that you snooped, thats not what th problem is here!
I hope you get things sorted either way hun! You dont need this crap!

 

[dannii87]

OMG what a penis!! I'm sorry hun, but I'd be livid too. You're not over reacting

In my books, anything you say or do to another woman behind your OHs back that you wouldn't say or do in front of your OH is wrong IMO.

I've always lived life by that moral and hope that most of my partners have done the same.

My ex once emailed Radio 1 love doctor thing under the name "Jeremy" and sent it to me by mistake. It said that although he loved me lots, he had never had any other partner (sexual or otherwise - which I already knew) and wondered if he should suggest a break "as it's not working" but actually use it to sleep around and get single life out of his system

He tried to get onto my emails to delete it but couldn't answer my secret question so he had to own up!! Wanker.

xx

 

[MagicMarkers]

God blokes can be stupid cant they, give us their passwords, act a twat and then plead ignorance, id just have it out with him, youve got every right to be angry absolutely, he sounds really immature and need a kick up the arse, whys he embarassed about wanting baby with you ? Something he seriously needs to explainin my eyes more than flirting with girls, then again its all bad hun, see what hes got to say for himself but dont feel silly about this, you had a right to snoop and obviously a good reason for it !

 

[josiegirl]

Ugh, that made me a bit sick to read. What an ass. I feel like telling you to chuck him though I suppose that isn't very helpful advice though. I do think you should probably confront him and not hold it in.

 

[bobby1]

Aw hun first of all

What a prick!

Whether its on facebook or in real life, he shouldn't be flirting with other single women and denying your existence. That's just not fair! I would also be absolutely livid if I were you. Best thing is to calm down before you talk to him about it. That's definitely going to be easier said than done. You really need to talk to him and find out why he has been doing this and tell him how you feel.

I don't know why he would do this. And you deserve much better than this girlie!!

 

[nickilubs]

Ohhh jeezez if that was Anthony he would be dead!!!!

I hope you can work things out I really really do. I cant say that I could things like that hurt me far too much but you sound pretty strong.

 

[trixipaws]

aww hun

my boyf flirts with other women, both online (his facebook doesnt say "in a relationship" and his myspace actually says "single"! ) and in "real-life" but at the end of the day its me he loves.

but if its upsetting u, he needs to stop doing it. i kno where ur coming from it got to me while i was pregnant and hormonal too

 

[Sandi4Paul]

there sounds like some trust issues on his side here. I don't want to tell you what to do (but being a leo i'm not capable of that), so all i can do is compare it to an ex i had when i was 19. he never seemed to trust me and was always checking my email and snooping etc. I didn't really think why at the time, even though i had done nothing to make him think i was cheating,

i realised later he didn't trust me cos he could be trusted. I'm pretty sure he cheated whihc was why he always accused me of doing so.

Youf fiance checking through your phone messages sounds like the same as this ex. Why does he fell the need to do taht? Unless he is judging you by his standards of behaviour whihc (if he is adding girls on facebook) sound a little low to me.

Sandi

 

[poochielove]

Thanks for your advice everyone i went beserk at him and then calmed down and talked. He said he had no idea how much it would upset me and deleted the girls. TBH I think he liked the attention...he hasnt exactly had much from me i'v turned into a complete monster since becoming pregnant. Hes normally the most perfect bf and i know hes fully comitted to me and wouldnt cheat (he'd just break up with me and go off with other women if thats what he wanted to do) Im just gunna keep my eye on it. Hes probaly shitting himself now im actually pregnant.