munchkin1982
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- Joined
- Jul 9, 2010
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it was too brilliant not too! 
xx
Actual letter to Passport Office....
Dear Sirs,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot
believe this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone
number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back
in 1977, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody
born and on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have
on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for
the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving license,
my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those
stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being
allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable
census forms.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my
mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be
abso-f*cking-lutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I
die!!!!!!
I apologise, I'm really p*ssed off this morning. Between you an'
me, I've had enough of this bullsh*t! You send the application to my
house, then you ask me for my f*cking address !!!!
What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal ar5eholes
workin' there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I
don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for sh*t sakes. I just want to go
and park my ar5e on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please
tell me, why would you give a sh*t whether I plan on visiting a farm in
the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a
chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last f*cking people I'd
want to tell!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the p0xy
city to get another f*cking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of
£30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same
spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd
rather have us running all over the f*ckin' place like chickens with our
heads cut off, then have to find some ar5ehole to confirm that it's
really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed
to smile?! (bureaucratic f*ckin' morons) Hey, do you know why we
couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally p*ssed off!
Signed
An Irate Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to
confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since
1776 ........ I have served in the military for something over 30 years
and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me
to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world. ........
However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know,
someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F*CKING PAKISTAN !
xxActual letter to Passport Office....
Dear Sirs,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot
believe this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone
number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back
in 1977, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody
born and on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have
on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for
the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving license,
my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those
stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being
allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable
census forms.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my
mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be
abso-f*cking-lutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I
die!!!!!!
I apologise, I'm really p*ssed off this morning. Between you an'
me, I've had enough of this bullsh*t! You send the application to my
house, then you ask me for my f*cking address !!!!
What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal ar5eholes
workin' there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I
don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for sh*t sakes. I just want to go
and park my ar5e on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please
tell me, why would you give a sh*t whether I plan on visiting a farm in
the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a
chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last f*cking people I'd
want to tell!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the p0xy
city to get another f*cking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of
£30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same
spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd
rather have us running all over the f*ckin' place like chickens with our
heads cut off, then have to find some ar5ehole to confirm that it's
really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed
to smile?! (bureaucratic f*ckin' morons) Hey, do you know why we
couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally p*ssed off!
Signed
An Irate Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to
confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since
1776 ........ I have served in the military for something over 30 years
and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me
to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world. ........
However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know,
someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F*CKING PAKISTAN !
too right as well ! X
x
