I hate this feeling

[littlemuffin]

I don't know if I am alone here but I have had the feeling for the last week that I do all the crap jobs and my OH and family get all the nice bits.

My OH is fantastic with DD, but he is always telling me what to do when it comes to her, and today changed her out of what she was wearing as he didn't like it. (so more washing).
We live with my in-laws as he is at uni and I couldn't afford the rent and bills. It's horrendous living here, they have picked their dog over their grandchild, as the dog doesn't like her I was asked to stay upstairs so I have everything up here, from the steriliser and kettle to a small fridge.
I get major cabin fever, and we live in a tiny village that doesn't have pavement walk ways so I don't feel comfortable taking her out as you are walking through country lanes and people and buses speed.

So I'm in one room all day, and OH went back to uni the day we came home and we got in to a routine me and DD, I got used to being alone all day, now he has been on Easter break for 3 weeks and is driving me mad. He has said I'm stressed, but she has colic and I'm the one that has the crying baby then to sort out the night feed, and get up do that and still sort out our washing, ironing and cleaning all in the small space we have. If I tell him how I feel he will take her off me more, and leave me with only sorting her out when she is crying no nice bits.

There is loads more but I can't write it all down or I will start crying.
You don't have to reply because you think you have to. I just needed to get it out.

 

[Sleepy sue]

I can't imagine what you're going through, other halves in general can get on our nerves with a newborn I know mine does! And you've got added complications!! I think sometimes OHs think they are helping and giving us advise however forgetting we know our child and look after them for 24 hrs a day through the good and the bad (not just the good bit after dinner)

I can't believe your in laws would choose a bloody dog! They deserve a slap!!

Can you go to any baby groups in the area? Where about do you live?

Xx xx

 

[prettypenguin]

Oh that must be awful, I only see my in laws now and again and that's too much for me. I know they aren't ideal but could you not apply for council housing? As if you're not working and with a baby they pay rent etc... Can't be good for your sanity being cooped up, or does your in laws house have a garden you could go in say from 4-5 every day then its a bit of fresh air for you both and a different scenery? Can't believe they chose a stupid dog, surely they take it for walks? Then if they do every day just nip downstairs and show Lo around x

 

[Nurse 26]

your not alone cant believe your in-laws picking thier dog, thats shocking.

i feel quite alone too, hubby at work all day and i'm stuck in the house, then when he gets home hes shattered so im left holding the baby. they dont appreciate how much hard work it is looking after them all day. i was going to suggest a baby group too? ive just signed up for one.

hope your ok hun xx

 

[littlemuffin]

I couldn't believe it when we came home 5 weeks ago. They love their dog more, my OH came to blows with them over it at the weekend, as he is at home he now understands what I've been going through. It's just made me hate them, wow I've not even said that I'm my head. They ask to come up and sit on my bed to hold her, and that's so uncomfortable as its my bit of private area and they come up when they want. When my family and friends came to see her, they had to come up to my bedroom it was so embrassing to say it was because the dog was in the living room and they don't want to lock him away - he has feelings!

But I've been dealing with that for weeks, and there is nothing I can do about it.

I've signed up to NCT coffee group, and I'm seeing girls from work next week. I want to save as much as I can so we can move out quicker.

I'm just upset today, and OH think it has helped to take her off me all day, and now I can't go and get her, as he is happy. It's hard as I can't let it all out or his parents will hear.

Thanks for the reply girls.

 

[Bot]

Can't believe that about the dog, shocking! Whereabouts in Kent are you? I've been looking into mother and baby things near maidstone today, not a lot is walking distance though!

 

[mum2b410]

Oh hun, sounds like u have it really tough atm! I can remember feeling the same about everyone having the 'nice' time with LO and I just got him when he cried or needed feeding! Made me feel crap but it got better with time and me explaining to my OH. I think its good ur gonna get out a bit and c some people. It's good to talk and get it off ur chest otherwise it drives u mad! Really hope the situation improves for u soon hun......and the colic does get better, our LO had it and we used infacol like it was going out of fashion! Lol! When he got to 12 weeks we stopped but he did improve quite a while before then! *big hug* xxx

 

[rosey]

I cannot believe they make you stay up there your other half should put his foot down!!
Why dont you go to the council and see about getting a house? Tell them you are getting kicked out and will be homeless, you would get housing benefits etc. might be worth having a look at?

 

[Dustbunny]

Oh hun that's terrible and not good for either of you to be couped up like that. I can't believe they won't let you downstairs.

I agree with the other ladies could you apply for council housing? As a 'homeless' new mum with baby you would go to the top of the list. Sending you big hugs, I hope something gets sorted for you soon. Xx

 

[prettypenguin]

I know I already said it but like the other girls I'd just go and enquire about housing, I'm lucky to already have my own house and the houses that are council here and quite a dive but then again its what you make it, and its better than one little room its really unfair of them. Do they have any other grandchildren or is this their first? In laws seem unreal to me at times. Even if you just enquire you know your options then. Why not write oh a letter? I know it might seem daft but if you don't want in laws hearing, or maybe go for a big walk and have a chat with.him. hope things start getting better very soon hun xx

 

[Hope81]

I can't believe them really... I suppose you can't move with your parents instead?
I hope you manage to move out of there fast...

 

[winnie89]

oh hun a massive hug to you. i used to live with my inlaws and it was me and oh in one room constantly and we didnt have a baby then, luckily my inlaws are quite good but thats not the point deffo apply on the council because they can be quite reasonable with rent and stuff and it's better to have ur own space, especially the LO in their own room. hope it gets better for you xx

 

[littlemuffin]

Thanks girls.

They are nice people. Bit odd, but nice. I will look in to the housing. See what we can do.

My pregnancy wasn't planned so when he started uni and left work I found out. And I wasn't giving this up for anything.
My parents have 3 cats and I would worry they would try and get in to bed with her. It's funny as they my parents also have 3 dogs and they love Macy. But they know my mum controls the house and they are locked away and when you tell them to go in their room they do.

I feel better today, but I can speak to my health visitor about housing as she said she could help when she came round and she was brilliant. I will have a chat with my OH.