I feel so sad inside :(

[fran.sudeep]

Hi, just another rant, if i don't write it on here i'll go insane.

I know it's only been a few days since my loss, and at the start i didn't feel to bad, but today i feel so sad and empty inside.

My brothers OH had a baby yesterday and we will be going to see her today, don't get me wrong i can't wait to meet my new niece but i'm scared, what if i start crying? I don't want her to feel any guilt for me.

Sorry for the rambling!

 

[netty]

i went thru a period of total numbness and despair, its upsets me to remember even now and knowing what ur going through bought a tear to my eye, it justtakes time hun

my friend is giving birth in like 2 weeks and i wnna see baby but i know it will upset me

i hope you have your lovley OH looking after you it is a hard time get plenty of rest and allow the feeling to come to you hunny, so srry again for your bubs

 

[fran.sudeep]

Thanks Lynette.

I know the feeling will pass, just i know this feeling only too well, i don't want this feeling.

I'm a fighter i will be ok, thanks

 

[dyscochick]

I might be a bit odd i a very close friend has a little one who was 6 months old, so not a tiny baby but still a baby, at the time I mc'd. I went round to see her straight after I found out the baby wasn't viable (she knew about the pregnancy) and it was so lovely to cuddle the LO. Yes it was sad, but it gave me the will to keep trying. yes it made it a little more painful, but I was so glad i did. She was giggling and cooing and it made me smile when it was the last thing I wanted to do. I think the thought of it might be worse than the reality, it was for me. Because once there I saw this loved bundle and while i desperately want my own, i knew that it just wasn't my time and the LO that I'm meant to have will come to me.

Its still so raw for you hun I'm sure it will be tough, but if there are tears its OK. They will know that you are happy for them and sad for you, not the other way round and you shouldn't worry about showing that. talking about it openly has helped me enormously, and it might be a little comfort to you to see the LO and talk about what's happened. If you openly acknowledge the pain you are in but how pleased you are for them, it will be easier to go on having this new little one as part of your extended family. I hope it goes ok xx

 

[netty]

it is the worst feeling ever, so hard not to question every little thing you did and the loss bores a hole through you like a hot poker. I went thru blaming myself for all the drug abuse i put myself through but i know its not that, just not my time yet

 

[CARNAT22]

I too found it very comforting to be around a little one.

My Nephew was just a week old when I started to bleed (and he was just under a month by the time I miscarried)

My other nephew was 5 weeks old when it all began as well.

I made the choice to keep my M/c and my brand new litle nephews very seperate in my mind (I know I was lucky to be able to make that choice as many people cannot just turn emotions on and off)

I hope Fran that once you have met your little neice you feel a bit better about it all. Sometimes the apprehension about a situation is worse than the actual thing we are worrying about.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[fran.sudeep]

I too found it very comforting to be around a little one.

My Nephew was just a week old when I started to bleed (and he was just under a month by the time I miscarried)

My other nephew was 5 weeks old when it all began as well.

I made the choice to keep my M/c and my brand new litle nephews very seperate in my mind (I know I was lucky to be able to make that choice as many people cannot just turn emotions on and off)

I hope Fran that once you have met your little neice you feel a bit better about it all. Sometimes the apprehension about a situation is worse than the actual thing we are worrying about.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

I think your right, i'm thinking about it too much!

I'm sure it will be ok.

Thanks

 

[Corrinne37]

i think that sadness will always be there, it just gets buried a little deeper every day, and you learn to smile again.
Its just so raw right now and thats so understandable.
I found holding a newborn comforting too, you dont be grudge anyone else their happiness, you just want your turn. xxxx

 

[Verity2011]

I'm so sorry for your loss Fran and I understand how tough it can be with others in the family with babies. After the mmc in March, my eldest sister was pregnant again and my second eldest sister second child was still only a baby. I found it very difficult and I have to admit I sobbed and sobbed when I saw my sisters baby but they were prepared for it and were so so sympathetic and supportive. It was lovely to see him but it also reminded me of my sadness.

You can feel however you need to feel - no one will judge you, just be honest with them. You have every right to feel, happy, sad, distraught, peaceful when you see them. None of these emotions are wrong.

Lots of love
xxxxx