I dont know where to post this, but i just want to give up

[mumawiles]

Im sorry if this is in the wrong place and im also sorry im sure this is going to turn out to be a long one. I just want to give up. My LO has been poorly for a few weeks now, screaming and crying for no reason for hours at a time, waking up in the night crying for no reason its just so draining i dont know how much more i can take, i feel so sorry for her and i want to help but i just dont know how, the doctors keep saying its a tummy bug and she'll just take a week or so to get over it but that was almost 3 weeks ago. Ive been back only to be told the same thing and to be made to feel as if im wasting time. Since my LO was born me and my OH have struggled with our relationship, a mixture of lack of sleep, stress and the fact we are living together for the first time, my other half hates his job and is miserable everyday when he gets home and its just so draining spending all my time walking on egg shells so i dont set off an argument. I feel like i rarely see my family anymore and my mum said casually in conversation the other day about my nan having cancer and i didnt even know but she assumed i did as she thought 'everyone knew'. we live in a horrible little flat that is cold and falling apart but we cant afford to move yet, i spend all my time shut in one room with my LO because im scared of the place falling apart and we have to keep all the doors shut to keep in any heat even on hot days. Yesterday should have been my cousins 10th birthday but he passed away years ago and i havent even told my OH as i just dont think he would understand. I feel like im drowing and i dont know what to do. im just so miserable and i dont know what to do

im just so lost. sorry this is so long

 

[Levi89]

Hey hun, I didn't want to 'read and run'. I'm so sorry to hear that - I think the stress & sleepless nights are more common than you think, people just tend to not mention it (as with the 12 week morning sickness I found out!!).

You should speak to your doctor about the way you are feeling - it may be rubbing off on your baby, feeling your stress and stuff (Please dont quote me though as I'm not qualified!). Then the fact she has a tummy bug also doesn't help. Have you tried another doctor just to be double sure?

Your house problem won't be helping the situation with the OH either... Have you spoken to your local council? Failing that - give the landlord a phone and explain that you have a baby and you can't live in a flat that is falling apart etc. I'm sure there is laws on how safe flats need to be!

When you get the chance - have a wee word with your OH. Explain how you feel, try and get out - even for a 'family walk'. It might help calm your wee girl as well? It is hard moving in with someone for the first time, you both just need time to adjust.

I really really hope you start to feel better hun, chin up & you know we are all here to help xxx

 

[dyscochick]

Oh my i wish i could scoop you up and give you a hug . it sounds like a serious lack of sleep talking, is there someone that can come over and give you a hand, take the little one in the day for a few hours to let you get some sleep so you can cope with the nights better? oh I wish i could say something to help. xx

 

[Maria1977]

Sleep deprivation is the worst, if babies would just sleep like normal adults all would be soooo good. It's such a shock to the system and it really is the route to most problems. Obviously not living conditions, but even that could probably be viewed and dealt with differently with some good nights sleep!!

How old is you LO hun?

I would defo speak to a different doctor and if you are really concerned then i wouldn't let them fob you off just ask to be referred to a paedeatrician (sp?), then can't deny you that.

But like has been said, babies do pick up when we are anxious so that may not be helping also.

But at the same time you need sleep to relax... it's such a vicious circle!

xxxxx

 

[Geminiblue]

Like the others have said darlin get another doctors opinion its not good enough get a referal to a hospital make sure everyone knows how youre feeling this sound likes Post Natal Depression and for very good reasons other than hormones.

One thing at a time honey.
So..
Speak to your doc/health visitor about your babies health and take no for an answer and about your sadness

Speak to your hv about your living situation
THEN you can deal with your OH and his work situation
THEN you can deal with your relationship

I wish I could just come and help you. I know how hard it is in the early days I had the same with my LO everyone telling me keep breast feeding hes getting enough blah blah blah and he wasnt and was miserable for a year until I put him on formula, thats just my experience with my child.

Your child could be lactose intolerant or anything like that so dont give up darlin keep at them xxx

 

[Rachey]

Aww hun, big hugs

Has already been said but lack of sleep can have such an impact. But honestly it will get better, when she starts sleeping a bit longer at a time I'm sure you and your OH will get along much better. Could someone look after her for a couple of hours to let you two go to the cinema or something, or even just watch a DVD? About the housing situation, have you spoke to your HV or council?

It is hard work but you will get there xxx

 

[meggymum]

oh hun dont give up! like geminiblue said, deal with one thing at a time. is there a family member you could give LO to for a few hours so you can get some sleep? then you might feel like you can handle things a bit better?

we are here if you need us dont forget that!

hugs xx

 

[Squeakz]

could your lo have a dairy intolerance? or coows milk allergy??x

 

[HeppiBean]

I know this was a while ago babe... And I really hope things have been better since you moved... But if you need me you know where I am. Give me call or something? I'll be more than happy to have lilun for a day if you need the break luv ya babe xxx