i cant do it anymore :(

[lillou]

i just cant do it anymore

Ava's reflux seems to be sorted with the medication she is on, Ranitidine and infant gaviscon, she doesnt appear to be in any pain during feeds anymore. BUT...

i cant get her to take her bottle. every feed is a nightmare i have spent a fortune on new bottles and teats and nothing makes a difference. i have noted what she is taking and it is between 15 - 20 oz a day. she isnt on any solids or anything yet.

the only way we can get her to take her milk is when she is sleeping

i feel i cant go anywhere and i feel very very down OH thinks i may be on the verge of depression, its so hard though. its all i think about it. how much has she taken etc etc. also i am very scared she will dehydrate.

HV isnt bothered as she is gaining weight, albeit slowly! but i dont think she understands the stress i feel and i feel i am forcing the milk on her. we have tried a milk for lactose intolrant babies but Ava refused this straight away. she wouldnt even try it after she had the first few gulps. she is currently on aptamil.

please can anyone suggest anything else we can try?

 

[debecca]

i just cant do it anymore

Ava's reflux seems to be sorted with the medication she is on, Ranitidine and infant gaviscon, she doesnt appear to be in any pain during feeds anymore. BUT...

i cant get her to take her bottle. every feed is a nightmare i have spent a fortune on new bottles and teats and nothing makes a difference. i have noted what she is taking and it is between 15 - 20 oz a day. she isnt on any solids or anything yet.

the only way we can get her to take her milk is when she is sleeping

i feel i cant go anywhere and i feel very very down OH thinks i may be on the verge of depression, its so hard though. its all i think about it. how much has she taken etc etc. also i am very scared she will dehydrate.

HV isnt bothered as she is gaining weight, albeit slowly! but i dont think she understands the stress i feel and i feel i am forcing the milk on her. we have tried a milk for lactose intolrant babies but Ava refused this straight away. she wouldnt even try it after she had the first few gulps. she is currently on aptamil.

please can anyone suggest anything else we can try?

1. Most importantly - YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING CORRECTLY.
2. 15-20oz of milk was exactly what we were getting Connie to drink at Ava's age... we are TOLD it's not enough but if your baby thinks it's enough, it's enough.
3. Most of us in the 'PND Support Group' have reflux babies. There's a reason for that - going anywhere or doing anything IS a nightmare, yet we're supposed to be happy and loving having this small puking screaming bottle-refusing thing with us. Also everyone else's babies seem to be OK. However, you don't HAVE to become depressed. Take it from me (and others!) that she WILL get better and soon. I promise. Have you considered early weaning (shhh don't tell the Ranty Brigade)? It really helped us and others.
4. Please tell people how you're feeling and TAKE A BREAK as often as you can. Er, I don't mean get hold of the magazine Take a Break and tell them how you're feeling, I mean get OH or your mum or anyone to give you a break. It's hard work when feeding takes an hour and a half and most of that is screaming and puking!!
5. I hope this post is of use and not too condescending. It just made my heart sink when I read it because I was there once too xxxxxxx

 

[LaineyG]

First of all

You are doing fantastically! Mhairi wasn't a big eater (and we didn't even have reflux to contend with!) and would some - infact most - days only take 10 - 15 oz.....this was all the way up til she was weaned at six months.

If your health visitor is happy, and Ava is putting on weight and her happy smiley self then please please stop worrying!

I wasted so much time worrying about Mhairi! And she is honestly fine!

PM me if you want to talk hun....and welcome to the "Eat like a sparrow" baby club....they rock!

 

[CoreysMummy]

Yes, been there... I join the girls in the PND thread..!!

Keep going, things will get better. Soon LO will forget about the pain felt when drinking (which is why, I assume, she dosent like bottles) she remembers how much it used to hurt.

15-20 oz, thats twice what Corey was taking around that age. He was gaining weight too. LO will not starve to death remember that... she will eat when she needs to, just get her weighed regularly - fortnightly is what we do!!

TRY NOT TO obsess over things, amounts of milk, weight etc etc.. please, that will just make things worse!!! Things only got easyer for me when I let go of things like that and chilled out, if he only drank 4oz of the 7oz bottle, then that was that!! Hes thriving now!

Are you sure that LO is not in pain when feeding any more?! I know babies with reflux can remember, and it gives them a phobia of bottles or food. But you need to be 100% that it dosent hurt...

 

[lauramumof2]

You didnt say wether she was weaned or anything but what about a yogurt. It might be nice and cool for her reflux.
My Joe wasnt a great milk drinker, took little amounts but only stopped drinking morning and night bottles a month ago.

A nice wee petit filous. My remedy for everything.

 

[debecca]

You didnt say wether she was weaned or anything but what about a yogurt. It might be nice and cool for her reflux.
My Joe wasnt a great milk drinker, took little amounts but only stopped drinking morning and night bottles a month ago.

A nice wee petit filous. My remedy for everything.

... but only if Ava isn't lactose intolerant

Mind you fromage frais contains relatively little lactose compared to milk or yoghurt so probably a very good suggestion!!!!!

 

[lauramumof2]

You didnt say wether she was weaned or anything but what about a yogurt. It might be nice and cool for her reflux.
My Joe wasnt a great milk drinker, took little amounts but only stopped drinking morning and night bottles a month ago.

A nice wee petit filous. My remedy for everything.

... but only if Ava isn't lactose intolerant

Mind you fromage frais contains relatively little lactose compared to milk or yoghurt so probably a very good suggestion!!!!!

Awww, thats what the reflux is. Sorry, I wasnt thinking.

 

[lillou]

Yes, been there... I join the girls in the PND thread..!!

Keep going, things will get better. Soon LO will forget about the pain felt when drinking (which is why, I assume, she dosent like bottles) she remembers how much it used to hurt.

15-20 oz, thats twice what Corey was taking around that age. He was gaining weight too. LO will not starve to death remember that... she will eat when she needs to, just get her weighed regularly - fortnightly is what we do!!

TRY NOT TO obsess over things, amounts of milk, weight etc etc.. please, that will just make things worse!!! Things only got easyer for me when I let go of things like that and chilled out, if he only drank 4oz of the 7oz bottle, then that was that!! Hes thriving now!

Are you sure that LO is not in pain when feeding any more?! I know babies with reflux can remember, and it gives them a phobia of bottles or food. But you need to be 100% that it dosent hurt...

i do think ava has a phobia to bottles due to associating them with pain and i pray everyday she forgets this pain. iv tried other methods of giving her milk- cups, trainer bottles, syringe but most of it just comes back out the sides.

i dont see that "pain" in her face, in her eyes anymore. i know it sounds silly but when she was in pain to begin with we could see the fear in her face and this isnt there anymore. now its head turning and fussing. i also think if she was still in any pain then she wouldnt manage to take her milk when we give her a bottle when she is sleeping, i think she would wake up and scream if it was in any way painful but these feeds seem to be taken without any flinching.

i dont think she will "starve" to death as i understand some babies take less but i do worry she will dehydrate but maybe i am over reacting i think i will stop noting what she takes as i dont think it helps at all.

i maybe should look in the PND thread but if i am completely honest im scared that the feelings i read there will be exactly like mine and then it becomes reality

thanks everyone for your replies

 

[CoreysMummy]

I just see LO was early... reflux is so common in early babies!! Im glad they have sorted it. Took us 12 weeks before being admited to hospital and ranitidine and domperidone doses being upped to the max for his weight.

Seems odd. I hope the phobia gets better... you must go out though, I fought with Corey more than once in my local Costa coffee, people must have thougth I was force feeding him, but it was the only way he'd drink back then!! I hated it though.

Now that LO is sorted, you need to ensure that you are sorted... or ull end up like the rest of us and its not a nice place to be!

Keep trying, she will take the bottle eventually, she wont dehydrate so long as shes having wet nappys you are OK! If not, then take her down A&E, and they may be able to come up with another reason for fussing over the bottles...!

Im sorry tyour inthis possition!

 

[lillou]

thats exactly how i feel if i take her out, that people think i am forcing her to feed but its the only way and she does need to take some so i avoid it at all costs.

we were given infant gaviscon but within 3 days the doc said to try Ranitidine so she is on 1ml 3 times a day but this isnt the max for her weight but as she seemed ok on it he said not to increase it.

sometimes i feel i am doing it all wrong and i feel i cant even understand my daughters needs, like im missing something totally obvious.

 

[kalia]

i do think ava has a phobia to bottles due to associating them with pain and i pray everyday she forgets this pain. iv tried other methods of giving her milk- cups, trainer bottles, syringe but most of it just comes back out the sides.

Would it be worth trying a beaker? i was shocked when we first gave DD one that straight away she sucked on it. It might work

i dont see that "pain" in her face, in her eyes anymore. i know it sounds silly but when she was in pain to begin with we could see the fear in her face and this isnt there anymore.

It's not silly at all! it's weird, I never thought people could actually tell from a baby's cry what was up but the amount of times OH has been looking after DD and I've called though to him that she's hungry or sleepy is huge. If you know, then you are right, it's is not at all silly.

i dont think she will "starve" to death as i understand some babies take less but i do worry she will dehydrate but maybe i am over reacting i think i will stop noting what she takes as i dont think it helps at all.

Stop noting as it doesn't help anything but it is stressing you. Oh, that sounded harsh, i didn't mean it that way I noted down how much she had for months but on reflection I should just have gone with the flow. Stroke the top of her head. Is there a big dip? The fontanellas (or whatever they are called) shrink when your baby is dehydrated. Remember that if you are thirsty you are dehydrated so don't panic if it is sunken, DD's is several times a day. I use this to check if I should try to feed her before going out.

i maybe should look in the PND thread but if i am completely honest im scared that the feelings i read there will be exactly like mine and then it becomes reality

Maybe it being a reality would be a good thing? You could discuss it with others, know that you're not alone.

 

[babynumbertwo]

Have you ever spoken to a dietician about this? Some sure starts / children's centres have dieticians you can contact direct - if not maybe your GP / HV could put you in touch with one. Weaning does help some babies who have reflux but it might not be appropriate for everyone. I was just thinking if you could speak to a dietician you could discuss the pros and cons to early weaning and whether it would be appropriate for your baby. xx

 

[kazzie-bo]

i agree with most of the above but can i just add, the bottle fussiness etc may be due to the 4 month fuss/growth spurt......

 

[CoreysMummy]

thats exactly how i feel if i take her out, that people think i am forcing her to feed but its the only way and she does need to take some so i avoid it at all costs.

we were given infant gaviscon but within 3 days the doc said to try Ranitidine so she is on 1ml 3 times a day but this isnt the max for her weight but as she seemed ok on it he said not to increase it.

sometimes i feel i am doing it all wrong and i feel i cant even understand my daughters needs, like im missing something totally obvious.

Ranitidine is weight dependant, as im sure you are aware, so if the doses is not going up, it may well start to not be as effective for Ava! I have to up his dose (myself, they gave me the formula to work it out) every two weeks or hes a screaming wreck!

You are not doing it all wrong, its just the way reflux makes parents feel its a horendos thing for parents to have to deal with, especially with your 1st, when everything is so unsure anyway!! Mabey go back to the Dr's and see about getting the dose adjusted for her weight even once a month... just for a while, mabey til shes 8monhts and established on solids... See if you can get a refural to a pead, who is much more aware of ALL the problems associated with reflux and may be able to help more... and pass you onto a diatician for weaning advice.

We weaned Corey at 14weeks... and thankfully hes never brought up any food!! He also never got an adversion to food, mabey because hes a little pigglet lol. Lucky really.

How long has Ava been on the Ranitidine? Did you say??

 

[sparky]

aw honey, i really understand what you are goping through, we've been the same from day one!

We have managed to drop the omeprezole now, which is a blessed relief, but still on gaviscon and donperidone 3 times a day.

Its getting easier, she has some days where there is minimal fuss, i feel like i've had a breakthrough then the following day we're back to square one.

Things we have done recently that have helped

Changed to mam bottles, the flat teats are just like her dummy so she copes better.
changed to hipp organic, dont know if she prefers it to be honest, but it is helping her poo easier...no more pyrimid poos! - plus you can keep the bottle on the go for two hours..bonus for me!
Started feeding her in her bouncer, and at her own pace, together with the fussing is an intense interest in feeding herself whilst i support the bottle, it takes ages but she seems to prefer this to being held...two sucks take it out look at it, put it back in two sucks...etc
Stopped recording what she was eating! she always puts on some weight and reading how much she is taking only worries me more!

Please listen to the excellent advice above, i'd hate for you to join us in the pnd section. But i hope it gives you hope to see that other babies are just as bad and that they do improve!

We started weaning last week and she loves food, esp farleys rusks!

 

[kellysomer]

Just a few suggestions:

Isla was allergic to milk and soya, she never had a problem with petit filous i have no idea why. Has your LO been tested for lactose intolerance as IMO the HV's are very quick at incorrectly lumping poor feeding and sickyness as lactose intolerance when it is far more likely to be something else. Isla was tesed at the hospital for 32 common allergens and the results were found in both her blood and skin prick tests. SHe was given pepti junior milk but to be honest i didnt find it of much use, she hated it, i tried it also and it hardly suprising she hated it its grim! I found Cow and Gate the best for her.

Luckily milk allergies are rarely permanant and normally disappear by the time the child is school age, Isla now eats everything with not so many ill effects.

I would be tempted to switch milks and try to ignore lactose intolerance talk, it is strange to me that they say she has this and yet havent referred her to a pead for blood tests.

On the plus side, things will get better, drinking 15-20 ozs of milk a day to me sounds absolutely fine, Isla drank less than 10oz a day at her worst point, she is now happy and healthy. I honestly beleive that if she was hungry she would be drinking, i would let her go at her own rate and see how her growth chart measures up, unless she starts to drop off the chart and loose weight i wouldnt worry too much.

With regards to feeling down, i am not suprised what you are doing is hard and reflux is the worse. Can you talk to someone and get some support. I suffered PND with my two and know with the correct support and help it can make a huge difference. I hope it continues to get better for you.

 

[lillou]

thanks everyone for your replies

they didnt do any tests on Ava but gave me a milk called " Nutramigen" hypoallergenic formula as a trial. we couldnt even get her to take an oz. our HV is off until next monday now so i wont be back in touch until then.

as ava is still putting weight on they really are not too concerned. this has been going on for about 9 weeks (i think) so i dont think its the 4 month growth spurt unless it can last that long?

i will try a beaker and see how she takes it. for the first time today i didnt note what she took but i still just feed her when she was taking her naps.
should i be asking for her to be referred to a pead for further tests?

i spoke to OH about it, he is brilliant but goes back offshore on Monday

Ava started ranitidine on 24th Nov, she no longer arches her back in pain so i thought it was working. maybe im wrong though and acid is still building up causing pain

 

[kazzie-bo]

can i ask how much she weighs?

 

[lillou]

can i ask how much she weighs?

yeh of course, she was 14lbs 3oz last time we got her weighed, that was the 16th December.

 

[CoreysMummy]

Thats a good weight for 4 months!! Your doing something right hun

Ahh yes, neutramigen, Corey dosent mind that stuff, still has it and will til he stops drinking milk aparantly, depends what the Pead fancys it seems, theres no difference between neocate, pepti junior and neutramigen, there all pretty RANK!!! Luckly for me Corey drinks it.

I would ask for a refural to a Pead hun, firstly! Only as they know more about things like this.