Husbands family - advice needed!!!

[Tw1nkle]

Basically my husband always defends his family over anyone - including me - the now mother of his child!

His Sister keeps buying things with 'Daddy's Girl', and ' i love my daddy' on it for our DD - never anything with mommy on it - I have mentioned this to my husband, and he says i'm overacting!!

Our DD is only 5 weeks old, but since we've been home the MIL has rang EVERYDAY - for no real reason other than to ask how everything is going! I have also mentioned this to my husband - who again says that i should invite her over, or that i'm over reacting again!

I don't want to keep inviting people over - if i invite her, i have to invite others - I'm not prepared to have any favouritisim!

I think it should be up to him to support me, and have a 'quiet word' with them - he doesn't need to be nasty, just to point it out.

Am I being unreasonable, or over-acting????
What shall i do?

 

[Sherlock]

How about not answering the phone when it rings. I never did in the early weeks. See if they leave a message and call back at your leisure. If anyone questions why you don't call back the same day just say you were busy and then forgot. That'd save talking to MIL daily for a bit. Don't do it every day of course, but every other or something. Maybe she'll get the hint. Or if you do answer just say you were about to head out and the LO is in the door and you have to go, talk soon, bye and be gone. Or something. Just don't always be available to talk. Or suggest to her when she calls (if in daytime) that its maybe better you call her a couple of times a week when its good for you.

As for the tension and other things. I'd personally try to not get offended or annoyed by it. Your SIL is being a sister by the sounds of it, and your MIL a MIL. I'd think it was SIL's natural thought to buy Daddy things as its her brother. Girls tend to be Daddys Girl when you think of it don't they? Its become an accepted expression for better or worse.

I kept getting given tee shirts and vests with Mummys Other Man or Mummys New Man on them and I hate that kind of thing as a rule. I simply didn't put LO in them often, just now and again if I was short of vests or something. I bought OH stuff with Daddy things on them as no one got LO anything with that stuff on. Just how people think and I never worried about it.

 

[BabyMagic]

Do what feels right for you. The best thing is to keep communicating with your husband.

My OH is very close to his family and my decision has been never to criticise any of his family members. I get along well with them and tbh they have been a great help. Do you think your MIL or SIL could possibly help you out later on? Tbh she must be just excited about her new granddaughter...

I have bought loads of: 'I love my daddy' shirts for my DD as I really look forward to them having a special bond. Not sure how I felt if others got those type of shirts though...

Maybe you are still a bit hormonal (I was after LO was born)? If I was to do it all over again I would actually ban most visitors in the early weeks and just focus on spending time with LO (having said that grandparents would be welcome anytime).