Hubby working away

[Outofsync]

Since we have been together 5 and half years hubby has always worked away on a gas rig. He works two weeks away then three weeks at home. I love this! (which sounds mean!) But it really works for us. I miss him and look forward to seeing him when he's home and when he's away I have my own life where I catch up with all my friends and family and do my own thing.

He has been offered a job working 9-5 but will be home every night this would be great as where ttc and keep missing ovulation due to his shifts but I'm scared that this could really effect our relationship. He is so used to having three weeks off and I'm used to having my own life separate to him.

He's away at the minute and told me this over the phone tonight and I could tell he was a bit hurt that I was not overly happy. I think we need a good chat face to face I'm rubbish over the phone. It's just going to be a massive change to our life's and I can't see hubby been happy just having weekends off. Am I just been a bitch? X x

 

[Wilson28]

Hand on heart it does sound selfish hun sorry but i bet he hates been away from home and he may have felt your thinking of yourself, think of it in the long run, you have a baby and hes away for 2weeks every 3, thats 4 months out of a year he doesnt see his child, its not really fair is it?? You can still have space, you n him can see friends seperate, he may want a hobby to do, i lived a year for only seein my partner at weekends, it really hurt me to be apart from him, now we live together and yer we bicker at times but i couldnt be without him now, you just make it work xxxx

 

[Outofsync]

Hi Hun I appreciate your opinion. We have talked it through and he is staying working away. It was his decision he likes have three weeks off to himself to go to the gym and see his friends for a few drinks while I'm at work. I was not bothered about him been home with me every night which is how it sounds from my post just he is a nightmare if he is fed up and tired and real moody, didn't want our happy life to be ruined! With regards to if we get caught pregnant we will look at the situation again then if it happens x x

 

[Jillygem]

Hi, my partner works 2 weeks on and 3 off so know exactly what you are saying. Personally for us it's the best work pattern and we both really enjoy his 3 weeks home. Don't know how he would cope working normal work hours! We are expecting July 2013 and luckily our parents are both great so I will have plenty support when he is away. Wouldn't worry about your partner being away for ovulation - just have fun when he is home and sure it will happen! Xx

 

[Outofsync]

Hi, my partner works 2 weeks on and 3 off so know exactly what you are saying. Personally for us it's the best work pattern and we both really enjoy his 3 weeks home. Don't know how he would cope working normal work hours! We are expecting July 2013 and luckily our parents are both great so I will have plenty support when he is away. Wouldn't worry about your partner being away for ovulation - just have fun when he is home and sure it will happen! Xx

Hi Hun.
I suppose if your not in the same situation as us it's difficult to understand. Congratulations on your pregnancy I also have a really strong support network so if hubby is away I know I can ring a number of people who will drop everything to come help me out if we're lucky enough to get caught. X x

 

[LikeJohnnYoko]

I don't think it sounds selfish. I think you have been accustomed to a way of life which has forced you to lead a life very independent of your Husband, which is a different dynamic to most marriages.

His moving back doesn't mean you have to give up any of your independence or your own life. The way your feeling is about fear and uncertainty of how this is going to work, and of the huge changes that will happen within your relationship. The best advice I can give you is to be super open with him, talk about the changes, the things you're anxious about. Ask him how he's feeling and how you want your time together to be.

 

[AndieP]

I understand it is important to have your own life; visit friends etc. My hubby often goes away on business trips for up to a week, which is ok, but any longer and it becomes difficult. I am amazed you are both ok with being together for just 2 out of 5 weeks!

 

[Outofsync]

I think its hard to understand if your not in the same situation. Hubby has always worked away for two weeks at a time and is home for 3 weeks (so see each other 3 weeks out of 5). In reality he only works 20 weeks a year and has loads of time off. I am just used to it after nearly 6 years and it works well for us. I fully understand it is not for everyone but i love my independance and think being open and honest with each how you feel is the key to a successful relationship. If i had not been honest and open about my fears to the change in our relationship then hubby would not have been either (men eh, their not the best at expressing their feelings!). We have made the mutual decision for him to keep working away, he wanted to but wanted to give me the option as we have been having trouble TTC due to his shift patteren and ovulation falling wrong. We both feel a lot happier getting things out in the open and telling each other honestly how each other feels only ever brings us closer together. Thanks for your advice ladies xx