Hubby completely off sex

[kittykat8]

Has anyone else had the same?

My hubby feels really weird about the whole idea of anything to do with sex, even touchy feely stuff, let alone the full monty.

We've not done anything for about 5 weeks now and it has gotten worse since the scan. I've tried sexy underwear, being very suggestive, coming onto him etc and keep getting rejected.

It's really stressing me out as I'm rather randy most of the time anyway, regardless of being preggie and I have always felt making love bonds us closer emotionally and gives me reassurance etc.

Because of his lack of interest I'm rather emotional, well alot actually which makes things worse as I get it into my head that the doesnt love me or he is seeking sex elsewhere, which is totally unfounded but my imagination does get carried away very easily.

Is anyone else in the same boat or does anyone have any suggestions to help things along?

We've spoken about it and I just can't seem to assure him that everything is safe, I think he has gotten stage fright with another person being there!

Heeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllpppppppppppppp!!!!

 

[Sherlock]

Some men do find it difficult when their partner is PG and getting bigger. For any number of reasons. Not that they find the woman unappealing but that they find it awkward knowing there is a LO in there, or that they worry about hurting you or baby.

There could be underlying worry also to do with your changing relationship now you are PG and carrying his child. Maybe he is worrying about the future after LO is here also. So many things could be going through his mind, its hard to know unless he knows and is prepared to be honest about it with you. Some men suffer and find it impossible to get past the making love to a pregnant woman issue. That the woman has a child growing within her, it really can give some men a complex about sex.

I think all you can do is not press your OH on it overly and back off a little and give him time to adjust to the changes your body is going through and to get his head sorted about why he feels uncomfortable doing anything with you. Putting too much pressure on him might just make him shut down more.

If things really don't improve you should consider some form of counselling possibly. It may help you both understand how the other is feeling if unable to resolve it between you.

 

[kittykat8]

I will try to back off him for a while and see what happens, when I've spoken to him he has said that he is concerned over getting the house in order and is feeling extra pressure to provide etc. I can understand this as I know that this would have an effect over his sex drive, just seems that everyone else I've spoken to about their men have not had a problem.

I just dont want to feel alone in all this.

 

[gangofgin]

you certainly are not alone in this. mine was exactly the same, i felt pretty crappy as i was making all the effort and not getting much in return, and he finds it difficult talking about things so we was just all a bit strange.

it has started to come back a bit now though, i think it just took him a while to get used to the whole thing and now hes feeling a bit more comfortable with it.

there was a thread in the members area a couple of months ago where plenty of women on here were saying similar things

xx

 

[Sherlock]

You are not alone in this, so please don't feel that

If he has said he feels concern over the house and pressure to provide, that may well be it. Men can lose their sex drive over such things when they become stressed. The realisation they are probably going to be the ones to support a new baby and their partner can really put added pressure on them. They can do that themselves well enough and not have it caused by others.

Its a life changing thing and some people, women as well as men find it very daunting. It can take a while to work through and get past. Hopefully your OH will be able to. If not I hope he will seek professional help so as to be able to deal with things as letting it go on too long can cause more problems as it is not only about the lack of sec drive then, but a whole other can of worms needing to be addressed.

Backing off for a bit and giving him space might be good. Of course be affectionate and so on, but let him know you won't pressure him or try to tempt him with nookie, that you are giving him some space but would still like cuddles and to spend time together and so on. That being emotionally close would be good, even if he isn't wanting to get overly physical at the moment. Hopefully given a bit of time he'll start to be able to get his thoughts in order and his sex drive back a bit. Don't expect miracles overnight and if he does want to do something, take it slowly

 

[fuffins1981]

My OH was quite stressed at first and our 'relations' reduced significantly. I was upset like you and had the fears of infidelity.

I simply started agin. Like dirty suggestions and rude texts. Made him realise I was still the woman I was before, with even more desires.

So, now things are up to full steam ahead again. I think as a pregnant woman it is important to still feel sexy. And like you, my hormones mae me want it so bad. That has not changed at any point lol

Just do subtle sex kitten and give him a little time. Just try your best not to over discuss it.

Sophs x

 

[andreaaa]

I don't have a lot of advice really, just wanted to say that you're not alone although we can't on doctors orders, but that in itself is still very hard as I worry about the closeness etc and have the same insecurity issues.

I hope your OH comes round soon

 

[kittykat8]

It certainly makes me feel better that others have had similar issues, I've totally backed off now and just tried to be cuddly instead, maybe this will help so that he doesnt feel the pressure, think if (hopefully when) we do get there a big smiley face will end up on here!!!!

Thanks for all your support, really appreciate it.

 

[dannii87]

I don't have any advice hun, because I'm single and pregnant with my first... But to be perfectly honest, I think I would be put off a little that their is a LO in there somewhere if I were male...

...It sounds like he's been really honest and straight with you about why it's happening so please don't worry Being your husband, I'm sure he thinks Kylie isn't a patch on you anyway

I think it's a great idea being cuddly. Just because the sex side of things might not be on top form, there are a million other ways to show your love and emotional bond. So I think you're great and sound very understanding. He's a lucky guy! xx

 

[sazzylou]

my OH wont touch me when im pregnant. As soon as i got my BFP that was it, no more nookie! Ive said to him i feel a bit upset, but he was exactly the same when i was pregnant the first time, its just how he is We have plenty of cuddles and stuff to make up for it though. I just know that if i get preggers, i wont be having any rumpy pumpy for 9 months, lmao

Everything went back to normal after i had my first baby, so im sure it will be fine after this one aswell. Just a bit frustrating for me, lol

 

[tots hope]

Took my DH 24 weeks to come around to the idea! Got quite a shock being woken up last night!

 

[Moofa]

Hi Hun

Your not alone. My DH has gone off it for the past 10 days which is really upsetting me. I think he is worried about harming LO but I'm sure with patience he'll come round, as this happened a few months ago too.



Mx

 

[kittykat8]

Well I dont know what changed last night but after 5 weeks of nothing, hello Daddy!!!!!



Thanks for all your support guys

 

[dannii87]

Yay! lol Well, now he knows it's not so bad, you might get a lot more

xxx

 

[Sherlock]

Well I dont know what changed last night but after 5 weeks of nothing, hello Daddy!!!!!



Thanks for all your support guys

Hehe thats good news