How to be realistic

[Toni_Win]

Hi ladies, I had a natural mc a week ago at 9 weeks pregnant. Spent a night in hospital and Dr confirmed mc next morning after internal exam and removing some clots. However, because I didn't have a scan my heart isn't quite accepting this. I keep thinking what if it was twins and I'm still pg with the other one!

My head knows this is practically impossible, but I can't quite let it go. I know it's still early days but not seeing a bfn or a scan to prove what has happened is driving me crazy.

I am trying to tell myself this has happened and I need to accept it and move on, otherwise when I do get that bfn I'll be heartbroken all over again.

Sorry, just needed to get this down somewhere and get it off my chest. Can't really tell hubby this, I know he would be sympathetic, but he won't really understand.

 

[Melily24]

Ah sweetie, I'm sorry. I know all about wondering whether it was twins and one was still okay. You say you had an internal - did they not let you look at the 'tv' while doing it and show you what was what?

Your LH levels should start dropping now, if they haven't already. To make myself feel better (didn't feel better, but it at least gave me confirmation), I took 2 clear blue preg tests after I started mc recently. I started to bleed on the Tues and think I took my first test on the Thursday (my pg test had initially said 1-2, so I should have been 3+ at that point), it said 2-3 (so I was still hoping), but took another one the next day and it said 1-2. So that was the confirmation I needed. Plus only then did I get to see mw and have my internals etc and she showed me the screen etc.

Seeing that BFN is hard, but at same time it means you are not in limbo anymore and hopefully your heart will be able to accept it. Because I hadn't yet seen mw to confirm mc, I 'liked' (if you know what I mean) to see the numbers decreasing, because at least it meant I stopped hoping. The hoping is truly dreadful and heart wrenching. No period yet, but 2 days ago I started with CM again and honestly, that made me feel better - my body was working as it should again and it meant we could start TTC again.

Big hug and hope you feel better. xxx

 

[Bethyboo87]

Aww hun, I definitely think you should speak to epu about getting a scan for closure. Without mine, I would definitely feel the same as you - what if? etc. I think it's really important, so would speak to them and explain how you're feeling. I'm sorry for your loss xx

 

[Toni_Win]

Thanks ladies. When I said they did an internal exam, it wasn't a scan, it was just a physical examination with a speculum. So that's why I didn't see anything. The Dr just confirmed the mc because she found the 'product of conception' (what a horrible term) when she removed some clots. I don't think epu will see me though. Dr told me to do a test in 3 weeks and phone them if positive. Did an ic test yesterday, but that was still strongly positive, which it would be a week on. Will do a cb digi tonight and see what that says.