How do you pass the time?

[LuW]

Hey all!

So I guess I'm here now. After things didn't work out this time around, we were going to try again straight off the bat, but when it came down to it, I couldn't and needed a little time, when I felt ready, G didn't and we've agreed that we're going out to book an awesome little holiday just for us and that the trip will be the start of us trying again. But that's next July.

Yes I've got my whole first year in my new role to get through in that but I just can't help but get wound up whenever I come home and there isn't baby things to think about or plan or do. Like I should have been going on Mat at the end of the Autumn term so no bothering about if I'm kept on after, now I'm major stressed about this term and it's a constant reminder.

I'm inlove with the idea of our holiday but I trade it in a heart beat to try sooner. But then I feel guilty for putting that kind of pressure on him. I just can't help but feel robbed.

Think it's worse this time because my eldest should have been starting school, so I'm surrounded by these pictures of all my friends kids going to school or like today I've been sewing name tags for the kids I nanny over the summer. Urgh. My heads completely mashed right now so sorry if none of this makes sense!

I just really need to know how to get to next July without screaming at G or making him feel guilty because it's not his fault how he feels.

 

[kanga86]

Hi LuW, sorry to hear of your loss. I don't have any advice as I'm struggling with the wait too and I know when I mention it to dh he gets frustrated like. So I've just be mulling it over and over in my head. Fortunately I do have my 2 boys to occupy me but it is still niggling in my mind constantly even when we have valid reasons to wait.
What are G's reasons to wait other than the holiday? Could you not do the holiday at Easter instead to bring forward ttc? xx

 

[LuW]

Hi Kanga

Thank you for your reply! He always just says now isn't the right time and changes the subject. I have a feeling the mc had more of an affect on him then he's letting on but he gets arsey if I push the matter so I've just stopped saying anything which is like frying my brain.

Easters being spent entertaining his niece at ours as far as I know atm otherwise that would be a serious suggestion to him.

I know the year will probs go quicker than I'm thinking it will but it still feels like a million miles away! Need a big project to do or something!