How do I shift this weight? Not to mention the big black cloud hanging over me :(

[Sianey90]

So I need to lose around 3 stone before I can be referred for ICSI with my DH.
I have PCOS which makes losing weight harder than for people without it. We are on a tight budget so I can't afford the gym or diet plans like Slim Fast, Weight Watchers etc. I have a couple of exercise DVDs but I lack the drive and enthusiasm when it comes to doing them.

I am also Bipolar which means I am REALLY battling my mood right now too, just getting out of bed in the morning can be a marathon in itself these days.
I stopped taking my mood stabilisers around a year and a half ago, so we could start safely TTC. However, I still take my antidepressants.

You would think my want for a baby would help me conquer the weight issue and that's what my GP said to me "You wont ever have more of a reason to lose weight than this." I feel like something is wrong with me big time, I seriously thought this would give me the determination to lose weight. But I still seek comfort in food, I indulge because it gives me short term happiness and right now it is one of the few things that does give me happiness (that and sleep!).

I feel so hopeless right now, I didn't think it possible to feel heart break, but our struggle for a baby has broken my heart. I've always wanted a child for as long as I can remember but always known I wanted to wait for the right man to have a family with.
Apparently when I'd not long learnt to talk I'd seen a baby on TV and said to my mum "I want one of those!" I played with dolls until I was about 14 which is embarrassing to say the least! And I helped bring up my nieces and nephew from the age of 8. I worked in childcare from the age of 18 and have only recently given that up. My life has been centered around children and it never crossed my mind that I would struggle to have a baby of my own.

But that is the reality and I need to know how to dig myself out of this big depressing hole and to lose the weight that is currently keeping me from having the treatment that could well make my almost life long dream come true!!

My two closest friends are pregnant and although I will NEVER resent them, it is the most difficult thing to bear knowing that I'm not pregnant and don't have the baby that I crave. Sometimes I'm fine and will talk babies with them for as long as they desire but other days my head goes crazy and I want to hide away from the baby talk. I see them looking for nursery furniture, tiny baby clothes and when they rub their bumps and I just want to fall apart and cry my heart out. But don't get me wrong it's not because I wish it wasn't them, it's only because I wish I knew how that felt to have that tiny being growing inside of me!!

I need to get out of this frame of mind and although I'm considering counselling, it would take weeks, even months to actually get to see one. I talk to my DH about it but he really worries about me getting sick with my Bipolar again, so I don't like worrying him and do my best to not bring it up much. I don't have many friends I feel comfortable talking to about it all and my mum can say is "Find something to occupy yourself with and take your mind off of it. It can't take over like this." Easier said than done!

I must sound like a right miserable b*tch but honestly, I don't want to feel like this! I'm under no illusion that having a baby will solve all my problems, I'm not silly. It will however help me and my DH to feel complete and give us a certain amount of happiness that we don't have right now.

Any help or advice would be thoroughly appreciated believe me! Thank you for reading .x.x.

 

[laurat]

Hey honey, Back in 2009 I was in a similar position with regards to weight being the issue in my way of having a baby. I had 6 stone to loose. I had 2 close friends pregnant and that undescribable desperation of needing to be a mum. I wasnt bipolar or on medication but certainly felt that I was in a no win situation. I hope I dont sound like Im telling you what to do but I thought I could share my journey and it may help you. I went with the mantra every little helps and take it slow and steady my weight became my focus and it soon kept me going and motivated. Never stoped wanting a baby but shifted my every day thoughts.

Food- I took every day at a time. Wrote a food diary of everything i ate and seeing it written in black and white sure shocked me!! I would go with trying to imrove every meal in the day to be healthier whether by addidng veg or a salad and cutting down on high fats and calories. Eat fruit more and treat yourself with maybe chocolate or crisps once a day. Weigh yourself only once a week at the same time and in the same clothes. This is a must as over the week your weight fulctuates and can mess with your head to see numbers go Up and down all the time. Personally I did WW but I know you said you cant afford it so by doing that you WILL loose weight. Yesyou can cut out carbs etc but if you deny yourself anything its not sustainable and makes you prone to go off track. Eat a balanced diet and treat yourself within reason. If you have a binge or go wayward write the day off and start again the next. Make small achievable targets of 1 to 2lbs loss a week. Any more is not sustainable or healthy.


In terms of exercise Each day make a goal of getting out of bed and get farther than you did the day before. This could be as little as get out of bed day 1, walk to the end of the street by Fri, then to the corner shop etc. Then move to putting on an exercise dvd ir going a longer walk. ANY extra movement a day is an improvement. I now walk a 5K four times a week and actually enjoy it.

I lost 8 stone in less than a year by just keeping plodding on. I never had huge losses but just kept going. I went off track in days but said today is a new day. I was so lucky to then get a BFP on my first IUI cycle.

I hope I dont sound full of it. I was in a horrid place a few years ago and never thought I would be a mum and I became one in June. You CAN do it! Every day is a new ine and can be bettered!

 

[Lucyboo]

Again, my situation was similar I had to lose a couple of stone to help my chances, wasn't on any medication but was always a yoyo dieter. I'm now following slimming world. You say you can't afford to follow a strict plan but could you sign up to a group, most you have to pay the initial £4.95 and can probably get free or half price membership, once you join. That's it. You have the pack so you wouldn't need to keep going to group. And just follow from home. The plan works by cutting all visible fat off meat. Only eating lean meat/fish/ pasta /unlimited eggs etc... And each meal has a third of a portion of fruit/ veg/ salad. Use light spray oil instead of olive or sunflower oil, trust me it really works and you can work it on whatever budget you have as there is even a list going around for free foods in Iceland you can eat. I lost 23lbs doing this so it really does work. Good luck xx

 

[Belfa]

I have PCOS and am totally adicted to sugar! I need to cut it right out to help my medication work better but I know how you feel with regards to motivation.

I lost quite a bit of weight quite quickly a couple of years ago on the Harcombe diet. It has a forum for support and the basic principle is pretty straight forward. If you sign up to the forum they email you a link with how to do step 1 (it's like a 5 day detox). This link also has it: http://www.allaboutyou.com/health/diet/the-harcombe-diet-five-day-eating-plan

With PCOS a diet along the lines of a low GI diet is beneficial as your body can be insulin resistant.

Have you asked for metformin at all?

 

[snowbee]

Some great advice from all the above posters.

Do you have an active hobby? Even going for a walk with your oh once a week would help, I find that fresh air really helps.

 

[Sianey90]

Thank you lauret, that was so incredibly helpful! Last night was a bit of a low time for me and writing all that down was incredibly helpful. Not to mention having a good sleep!

I think I need to take things day by day and see how I do. Trouble is I spend a lot of time with one of my pregnant friends and we often have dinner round their's, she cooks lovely healthy meals, but then we have the habit of indulging in a not so healthy pudding and of course the last thing on her mind right now is watching her weight!

Hi Belfa, yes I had metformin but unfortunately it made me feel terrible so had to come off of it. I do have another tablet that the GP prescribed me though which is meant to help me lose weight, can't remember its name though and I've done rubbish at taking it lately as I have to remember to take it 3 times a day.

My mind plays a massive part in all this, if it's in a good place then I do well but on a bad day my eating is all over the place! I need some regularity in life and I have a complete lack of it when it comes to everything at the moment. I don't even have a consistent regular job, so I have very little to take wanting to snack and indulge off of my mind.

I'm going to start keeping a written food diary, I tried to do it on an app on my phone but I didn't keep it up. I really need to commit myself to this physically and mentally! .x.x.

 

[Clementine]

I think all the food and exercise advice above is very good. I don't have experience of bipolar but in addition to above comments I would recommend that you buy 'Mindfulness' book by Mark Williams (there is also CD version you can put on iPod) it helps you focus your mind and also includes short relaxation techniques. I found it really helpful when I went through my missed miscarriages. Take care and take one day at a time.

 

[cornishfairy]

Hi, I also lost 2 stone doing the slimming world extra easy plan (it had to be easy for me to stick to it!) and whilst I was paying to go to the group each week there were ladies there who'd been referred by their docs and didn't have to pay. Might be worth asking your gp about that. It's so simple to follow and like the other lady said you could always sign up and get the book so you know what to do then follow it from home. It's the only diet thats ever worked for me and I think that's because you're not hungry, you can eat loads!! X

 

[hopewishdream]

I can completely relate to this and have found some wonderful advice in the replies.

Wishing you all the very best sweetheart. I am in a similar position as you, I have PCOS, I've had two miscarriages, I suffer from panic disorder and clinical depression and am taking citalopram to control my panic attacks. I've been told I need to lose around 6 stone and it feels impossible. It's been almost 2 years since my last miscarriage and I am so desperate to be a mum.

If you would like to add me as a friend and we can support each other please feel free xxx

 

[beckyboo28]

hi if u do da rosmary Connelly u can do it at hme I trid ww and slimming diets never could do it but I lost 3 stne in 6 mnths with rc diet very easy target ya self of 1200 cal a day 5% fat or under one treat a day x x x x

 

[rachaell]

Hi,

I lost about 4.5 stone using my fitness pal app and online diary. Its completely free. Its basically a food diary but sets you calorie goals. You can use a phone app to scan barcodes on food or make up meals to check the calories. I found it much better than weight watches or anything like that as its free and really teaches you to learn about food. I also found the forum part of the website hugely supportive and informative. I think you have to try not to look at the whole amount you need to loose and try to break it down in to smaller goals. Even when you have lost a small amount it makes you feel great and really has a snowball effect. Its one of the best things I have ever done and I have totally changed how I eat and kept the weight off for several years now. I promise its worth it and the best of luck xxxxx