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How Do I Get Over This?
- Thread starter LisaJ1986
- Start date
i used to get like this but since ive had jack im not 2 bothered!! try and chill out hun, get angel chilled and both curl up on the couch! when he comes in dont get cross even tho inside u r livid, greet him wiv a huge smile and a kiss!! he will be really shocked!!!
u need some u time tho hun!! from wot i have read in ure posts recently u havent been having the easiest time recently! try and have some time to ureself i make sure DH has DS every night so i can get a bath!!
fwiw- u sound like a lovely person and u deserve some
u need some u time tho hun!! from wot i have read in ure posts recently u havent been having the easiest time recently! try and have some time to ureself i make sure DH has DS every night so i can get a bath!!
fwiw- u sound like a lovely person and u deserve some
i know how you feel hon
i get ragingly jealous when my OH swans off on nights out - he doesn't even do it that often bless him. and he knows that when he does, there's every chance that i'll be unpleasant to him about it.
i have a perfectly valid reason to get angry most times because he drinks too much when he does go out. but my temper is usually stoked because i'm simply envious that he's out and i'm stuck at home.
the only thing i can suggest is that you try and make your own plans. i don't go out often, but i'm making a more concerted effort to arrange things because otherwise i don't like the person i become. last weekend, my dad babysat whilst OH and i went to a party. this weekend OH will have connor all day & night saturday whilst i go on a hen do. then next week i'm going out for dinner, and the week after i'm going for early christmas drinks with work colleagues. (get me and my hectic social life
)
that's the most i'll have done in the entire 9 months since connor was born. it doesn't come naturally to me to leave him whereas OH finds it easier as he does it every day when he goes to work. the hardest part for me is getting over the guilt. but i'm working on it.
try and do the same xxx
i get ragingly jealous when my OH swans off on nights out - he doesn't even do it that often bless him. and he knows that when he does, there's every chance that i'll be unpleasant to him about it.
i have a perfectly valid reason to get angry most times because he drinks too much when he does go out. but my temper is usually stoked because i'm simply envious that he's out and i'm stuck at home.
the only thing i can suggest is that you try and make your own plans. i don't go out often, but i'm making a more concerted effort to arrange things because otherwise i don't like the person i become. last weekend, my dad babysat whilst OH and i went to a party. this weekend OH will have connor all day & night saturday whilst i go on a hen do. then next week i'm going out for dinner, and the week after i'm going for early christmas drinks with work colleagues. (get me and my hectic social life
) that's the most i'll have done in the entire 9 months since connor was born. it doesn't come naturally to me to leave him whereas OH finds it easier as he does it every day when he goes to work. the hardest part for me is getting over the guilt. but i'm working on it.
try and do the same xxx
hiya
i've just been reading ur post now and first of all does OH go out every night? if so he is being really unreasonable and needs to get a grip! the fact that when he does go out an doesn't come in till midnight is taking the piss.
And as for ur little one crying she can obviously sense he's not there and that u are not happy with him going.
you need to sit down with OH and come to some arrangement where he goes out once you have both setled the baby to sleep for the night
hope this helps
i've just been reading ur post now and first of all does OH go out every night? if so he is being really unreasonable and needs to get a grip! the fact that when he does go out an doesn't come in till midnight is taking the piss.
And as for ur little one crying she can obviously sense he's not there and that u are not happy with him going.
you need to sit down with OH and come to some arrangement where he goes out once you have both setled the baby to sleep for the night
hope this helps
Serendipity_
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It is only once a month.....
Although, surely if you don't have no one to see, he should take him with you, or even bring his pal round to yours?
Although, surely if you don't have no one to see, he should take him with you, or even bring his pal round to yours?
i lost most of my friends when i met my now husband and we had our son i felt very isolated like urself as i didn't have anyone to have a good old chat with, so it was suggested to me to go along to a mother and baby group i was a bit apprehensive about going but it wa worth while. then we put ethan into a morning playgroup when he was 2 and nobody sopke to me it was really hard but it gave me a break. So just a suggestion go and see about a mother and baby group in you area you never know who you might meet there and it'll be good for angel 
Valley Girl
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I'm so glad you posted this.
I am the same. My ex used to dial adult chat lines every time I went out to have a w*nk and now I hate going out and leaving new hubby at home. I worry so much he'll do the same. And because I don't go out, and my whole life is based in this house now I have a young baby again, I HATE it when hubby goes out, although it is hardly ever because I make such a fuss!!
I don't want to be like it either, but haven't a clue how to stop it. I really don't think it's me having a social life that will make anydifference. I hated it even when I had a social life before baby number three.
I guess being at home means you rely on your other half to give you self esteem, to make you feel desirable, sexy, like you achieve something being at home. But of course, they don't!! I've never met a man who does, no matter how lovely they are. I used to find when I worked part time that I'd get praise from people there and that would make me proud of myself, and worth something. But now I'm at home everything is a thankless task. Personally I feel it has a lot to do with that, and the inability to see your home as anything other than a prison when you 'have' to stay home in the evening while your other half escapes.
When you find the answer tell me so I can be cured too. I've become high maintenance and I don't wanna be!!!!!!
I am the same. My ex used to dial adult chat lines every time I went out to have a w*nk and now I hate going out and leaving new hubby at home. I worry so much he'll do the same. And because I don't go out, and my whole life is based in this house now I have a young baby again, I HATE it when hubby goes out, although it is hardly ever because I make such a fuss!!
I don't want to be like it either, but haven't a clue how to stop it. I really don't think it's me having a social life that will make anydifference. I hated it even when I had a social life before baby number three.
I guess being at home means you rely on your other half to give you self esteem, to make you feel desirable, sexy, like you achieve something being at home. But of course, they don't!! I've never met a man who does, no matter how lovely they are. I used to find when I worked part time that I'd get praise from people there and that would make me proud of myself, and worth something. But now I'm at home everything is a thankless task. Personally I feel it has a lot to do with that, and the inability to see your home as anything other than a prison when you 'have' to stay home in the evening while your other half escapes.
When you find the answer tell me so I can be cured too. I've become high maintenance and I don't wanna be!!!!!!
Serendipity_
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LisaJ1986 said:
I know, I get like it too sometimes. I go absolutely mental, start an argument, and he's only popped to see his mate for an hour and I make him come back
Awwww hun, have some
You don't sound like you've been having the easiest time of it lately. At least you can go and see your dad, when my OH goes out I either invite one of my friends round for a girly night in or go over to my parents for the evening & let them cook me dinner!
I'm lucky though coz my OH rarely goes out, I'd say maybe twice a month, and he doesn't go on 'big nights out', usually just to the pub with a few mates on a saturday evening for a couple of pints.
Have you got anyone that could babysit Angel for a couple of hours? If so, you could suggest that YOU go out with him, rather than him going out with his friends all the time.. maybe just go for a few drinks or a nice meal, it doesn't have to be anything extravagant! Or as Serendipity said, see if he will invite his friends to yours instead if you don't mind that? My OH quite often has his friends over here which I don't mind at all, they usually disappear upstairs to go and play the x box and leave me downstairs in peace to watch what I want on the TV! His best mate also sometimes brings his girlfriend round and we make a night of it, once Amber is in bed we'll get a takeaway and out a film on, and sit there chatting, maybe you could suggest him doing that if he has any mates with girlfriends??
You don't sound like you've been having the easiest time of it lately. At least you can go and see your dad, when my OH goes out I either invite one of my friends round for a girly night in or go over to my parents for the evening & let them cook me dinner!
I'm lucky though coz my OH rarely goes out, I'd say maybe twice a month, and he doesn't go on 'big nights out', usually just to the pub with a few mates on a saturday evening for a couple of pints.
Serendipity_ said:
Have you got anyone that could babysit Angel for a couple of hours? If so, you could suggest that YOU go out with him, rather than him going out with his friends all the time.. maybe just go for a few drinks or a nice meal, it doesn't have to be anything extravagant! Or as Serendipity said, see if he will invite his friends to yours instead if you don't mind that? My OH quite often has his friends over here which I don't mind at all, they usually disappear upstairs to go and play the x box and leave me downstairs in peace to watch what I want on the TV! His best mate also sometimes brings his girlfriend round and we make a night of it, once Amber is in bed we'll get a takeaway and out a film on, and sit there chatting, maybe you could suggest him doing that if he has any mates with girlfriends??
Can I just try and give a view from the other side for all you ladies that don't like it when your man goes out without you.
I went out with someone for 3 and a half years who was possessive. He would start an argument if I planned to go out, usually just before I was leaving so I wouldn't go. He once even pretended to throw my engagment ring in a field and had me, my brother and an old lady hunting for it in the dark
He would use any reason for me not to go. On the rare occasion when I did go out he would beg me to come home. My friends couldn't stand him and to be totally honest it became embarrasing for me in front of them.
He would also be mean to me when I got home and for a few days after, so much so that I started to dread coming home.
In the end I felt totally suffocated by him and ended up resenting him. I knew that our relationship was not healthy.
It turned out that he had huge trust issues with me, even though I had never done anything to justify his mistrust.
The irony of the whole realtionship was that it was him that ended up having an affair
If you have no reason to mistrust your OH then encourgae him to go out. It's healthy to have seperate interests and time away from each other. It keeps things fresh! Also like krissie said encourage him to bring his mates over (not all the time though) and try and find time to go out just the 2 of you.
Most importantly you need to get your own interests and hobbies. Have some me time! When my OH goes out and I'm home with Dan I put him to bed a little earlier and do something I want. Like have a long hot soak, read, paint, write etc. Have you any hobbies that you enjoy hun?
Can you get back in touch with your best friend? Or try and make a real effort to make contact with your old work friends again
Arrange your own nights out where he can look after bubba and you go out and let your hair down 
I went out with someone for 3 and a half years who was possessive. He would start an argument if I planned to go out, usually just before I was leaving so I wouldn't go. He once even pretended to throw my engagment ring in a field and had me, my brother and an old lady hunting for it in the dark
He would use any reason for me not to go. On the rare occasion when I did go out he would beg me to come home. My friends couldn't stand him and to be totally honest it became embarrasing for me in front of them.He would also be mean to me when I got home and for a few days after, so much so that I started to dread coming home.
In the end I felt totally suffocated by him and ended up resenting him. I knew that our relationship was not healthy.
It turned out that he had huge trust issues with me, even though I had never done anything to justify his mistrust.
The irony of the whole realtionship was that it was him that ended up having an affair
If you have no reason to mistrust your OH then encourgae him to go out. It's healthy to have seperate interests and time away from each other. It keeps things fresh! Also like krissie said encourage him to bring his mates over (not all the time though) and try and find time to go out just the 2 of you.
Most importantly you need to get your own interests and hobbies. Have some me time! When my OH goes out and I'm home with Dan I put him to bed a little earlier and do something I want. Like have a long hot soak, read, paint, write etc. Have you any hobbies that you enjoy hun?
Can you get back in touch with your best friend? Or try and make a real effort to make contact with your old work friends again
Arrange your own nights out where he can look after bubba and you go out and let your hair down Turn the tables hun, tell him next Friday night (or whichever) that you are going out with some mates so he will have to stay at home and babysit, get yourself dressed up and go and have a good night.
It will give you a chance to let your hair down, just remember if you havnt told him how you feel he probably has no idea
It will give you a chance to let your hair down, just remember if you havnt told him how you feel he probably has no idea
I am sorry you are feeling like that
I have a similar situation.....
We live not very far from each other, would you like to meet next week? We could just have a lunch together and, maybe if we post something about it in Off-topic, some other girls will join us?
I have a similar situation.....
We live not very far from each other, would you like to meet next week? We could just have a lunch together and, maybe if we post something about it in Off-topic, some other girls will join us?
Please dont say he can do better than you, i used to think that about my husband as he is from an extremely wealthy family but i dont anymore as i know that neither money or looks makes one person any better than another, i think you sound like a very sweet person and if anything can do far better than him
I'd love to meet you ladies but at the mo money issues have put a huge strain on things.
He started a new job this week so should alter things a little. But then it also means more time being just me and Angel.
Hopefully soon we'll sort something out. Once he has his first wage i'll fill the car up and meet you people!
He started a new job this week so should alter things a little. But then it also means more time being just me and Angel.
Hopefully soon we'll sort something out. Once he has his first wage i'll fill the car up and meet you people!
HollyHobby
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dont couples go out as couples anymore?
Sounds like it would be better if you could get a babysitter once a month and the pair of you have a night out.
Our parents never went out seperatly, it just seems to be a relative young new thing and seems to cause nowt but grief to the one stuck in all the time. We never go out without each other.
he could see his mates during the daytime surely and then have special nights out with you.
Sounds like it would be better if you could get a babysitter once a month and the pair of you have a night out.
Our parents never went out seperatly, it just seems to be a relative young new thing and seems to cause nowt but grief to the one stuck in all the time. We never go out without each other.
he could see his mates during the daytime surely and then have special nights out with you.
