Hellooo. I'm new to this forum. I just found out am 5 weeks pg - off to docs later today. I wanted to ask some newbies and old timers whether it is normal to be ABSOLUTELY petrified. Sometimes I am so scared I can't sleep at night. My fears are losing the pregnancy. It was planned and is very important to me. I know it must be worse for some people e.g. if you have had m/c before (I haven't) or if you have been TTC for a very long time (I was reasonably lucky - 3mths) but it's all relative isn't it? I am a born worrier!! I am now getting worried about worrying so much!! So silly, I know. It's a vicious cycle! Does anyone have any tips as to how I might calm down!!
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How do I get less petrified?
- Thread starter millie15
- Start date
Congratulations on your BFP honey 
Just take some nice big deep breaths - in through your nose and out through your mouth. It's natural to worry at this stage - we've all done it 
Try reading through some of the threads on this forum which might help set some of your worries at rest.
You could try the breathing thing every time you feel those worry thoughts escalating and spiralling
And don't forget to ask lots of questions about your worries too - cos it helps
Lots of Love Sarah xxxx
Just take some nice big deep breaths - in through your nose and out through your mouth. It's natural to worry at this stage - we've all done it Try reading through some of the threads on this forum which might help set some of your worries at rest.
You could try the breathing thing every time you feel those worry thoughts escalating and spiralling
And don't forget to ask lots of questions about your worries too - cos it helps
Lots of Love Sarah xxxx
Thank you! It definately helps being on here. I don't want to tell people yet so having some cyber friends will help!! Thanks!
Yes I am taking deep breaths - it's good to hear I am not the only one who has felt like this. Bit worried about the docs as I have loads of questions and my docs are not known for their bedside manner. Wish me luck!
Yes I am taking deep breaths - it's good to hear I am not the only one who has felt like this. Bit worried about the docs as I have loads of questions and my docs are not known for their bedside manner. Wish me luck!
HI there and congrats
As has been said, worrying is natural, so don't try to deny it totally. But don't let it take over your life so that every twinge, niggle and ache has you running to the Doctor or MW in concern. Most of the time these things, and all the early pregnancy symptoms are good things to have happening as it shows your body is making the changes it needs to.
I'd not have too many questions for the Doctor at this point. Going to tell them you are PG usually gets you a simple 'Congratulations' and then they tell you to book in and see the MW from about 8 weeks onwards. As until then there really is little/nothing to be done. Your body is in charge and will do as it needs. Doctors really don't get involved in the whole pregnancy thing these days, its all done via the MW usually. He'll probably tell you to make sure you are taking folic acid. Might confirm your pregnancy with another test but often they don't. Maybe work out your EDD from your LMP (if you know it) And that is usually it.
What kind of questions do you have? If its things about labour and birth then hold off till later on
If its things concerning these early weeks, have a browse of the forum and see if you can find it covered here. Also investing in a good pregnancy book is worthwhile. What To Expect When Your Expecting is great and breaks down each month and so on for you. Also covers symptoms, possible problems, what to look out for etc.
I'd relax, eat a balanced diet as far as you are able (if morning sickness etc kicks in then go with the flow), rest when your body tells you (extreme tiredness is normal) and just enjoy these early weeks as much as possible.
As has been said, worrying is natural, so don't try to deny it totally. But don't let it take over your life so that every twinge, niggle and ache has you running to the Doctor or MW in concern. Most of the time these things, and all the early pregnancy symptoms are good things to have happening as it shows your body is making the changes it needs to.
I'd not have too many questions for the Doctor at this point. Going to tell them you are PG usually gets you a simple 'Congratulations' and then they tell you to book in and see the MW from about 8 weeks onwards. As until then there really is little/nothing to be done. Your body is in charge and will do as it needs. Doctors really don't get involved in the whole pregnancy thing these days, its all done via the MW usually. He'll probably tell you to make sure you are taking folic acid. Might confirm your pregnancy with another test but often they don't. Maybe work out your EDD from your LMP (if you know it) And that is usually it.
What kind of questions do you have? If its things about labour and birth then hold off till later on
If its things concerning these early weeks, have a browse of the forum and see if you can find it covered here. Also investing in a good pregnancy book is worthwhile. What To Expect When Your Expecting is great and breaks down each month and so on for you. Also covers symptoms, possible problems, what to look out for etc. I'd relax, eat a balanced diet as far as you are able (if morning sickness etc kicks in then go with the flow), rest when your body tells you (extreme tiredness is normal) and just enjoy these early weeks as much as possible.
Hiya 
I know exactly how your feeling. This is my first pregnancy and I'm terrified for the same reasons you listed. Having this forum is brilliant to help ease worries especially when we are at this stage and don't want to tell the people in our 'non cyber lives' yet.
For me I'm trying not to obsess about it too much (difficult I know) and I'm making sure I'm doing my best for the little one by eating a balanced healthy diet and resting when I'm tired etc.
Good luck at the docs, I remember how nervous I was when I went to see mine.
I know exactly how your feeling. This is my first pregnancy and I'm terrified for the same reasons you listed. Having this forum is brilliant to help ease worries especially when we are at this stage and don't want to tell the people in our 'non cyber lives' yet.
For me I'm trying not to obsess about it too much (difficult I know) and I'm making sure I'm doing my best for the little one by eating a balanced healthy diet and resting when I'm tired etc.
Good luck at the docs, I remember how nervous I was when I went to see mine.
Congratulations 
sorry girls for my intrusion into tri 1 but just want to offer my support
This was my first pregnancy too and I work in a hospital so know ALL the things that go wrong
in the first tri I was convinced I would miscarry - then I had some bleeding and was convinced I would never make it to my first scan (it was light and I know nothing can be done so I did not feel the need to go to hosp)
but I did get to 12 weeks ...
at my first scan I was convinced there would be a missed miscarriage...... and was surprised to see a heart beat - and I loved my little bean!
in the second tri I was convinced I would miscarry and didn't think I would get to 24 weeks (when a baby can sometimes survive if it is born early).... but I didn't and I went into tri 3...
throuout tri 3 I was connvinced something would go wrong like preterrm labour - I was convinced that he would be breech or I would bleed and lose him..... but I didn't and I got to 37 weeks..
from 37 weeks on I was convinced that I would still lose him and that it would be all the more tragic as he was term now... I worried all the time about him getting tangled in his umbilical cord or my placenta failing.... but it didn't
When I went into labout I was convinced I would tear, need a c-section or that I would still lose him - and yes things went wrong and he stopped breathing a coupel of times - but the drs sorted him straight away and we sat there at 2am cuddling our newborn son.
.......... and now at 3months I worry "will he stop breathing", "will he get ill" "is he growing ok" "what if we have a car accident" etc etc etc!
Congratulations
and Welcome to motherhood! it starts from the day you find out and ends only when you die I reckon! I hope I get to worry about his first day at school, his first girlfriend, his job, his wife, his kids! 
(but part of me is always scared that we won't get to that next stage and is surprised when we do
so take it easy, try not to worry as things mostly turn out well but don't beat yourself up about worrying - it is one of the signs of a caring mum
sorry girls for my intrusion into tri 1 but just want to offer my support This was my first pregnancy too and I work in a hospital so know ALL the things that go wrong
in the first tri I was convinced I would miscarry - then I had some bleeding and was convinced I would never make it to my first scan (it was light and I know nothing can be done so I did not feel the need to go to hosp)
but I did get to 12 weeks ...
at my first scan I was convinced there would be a missed miscarriage...... and was surprised to see a heart beat - and I loved my little bean!
in the second tri I was convinced I would miscarry and didn't think I would get to 24 weeks (when a baby can sometimes survive if it is born early).... but I didn't and I went into tri 3...
throuout tri 3 I was connvinced something would go wrong like preterrm labour - I was convinced that he would be breech or I would bleed and lose him..... but I didn't and I got to 37 weeks..
from 37 weeks on I was convinced that I would still lose him and that it would be all the more tragic as he was term now... I worried all the time about him getting tangled in his umbilical cord or my placenta failing.... but it didn't
When I went into labout I was convinced I would tear, need a c-section or that I would still lose him - and yes things went wrong and he stopped breathing a coupel of times - but the drs sorted him straight away and we sat there at 2am cuddling our newborn son.
.......... and now at 3months I worry "will he stop breathing", "will he get ill" "is he growing ok" "what if we have a car accident" etc etc etc!
Congratulations
and Welcome to motherhood! it starts from the day you find out and ends only when you die I reckon! I hope I get to worry about his first day at school, his first girlfriend, his job, his wife, his kids! (but part of me is always scared that we won't get to that next stage and is surprised when we do so take it easy, try not to worry as things mostly turn out well
but don't beat yourself up about worrying - it is one of the signs of a caring mum Congratulations & welcome!
I have to agree, worry is something that you do as a parent, from the time you know you're pregnant you don't stop worrying - ever I think!
I am about 7 weeks and I am worried about miscarrying again, but I find the worry comes and goes, sometimes I feel paralysed with fear and sometimes I'm so excited for the future.
When I'm scared I just try to take time to allow the fear to pass and it does. The best thing I find is to talk about it, it really doesn't seem so bad when you have shared it with someone.
I'm hoping to have an early scan as my miscarriage was at 7 weeks but we didn't find out till the 12 week scan.
If you ever need to chat, just give me a PM.
I have to agree, worry is something that you do as a parent, from the time you know you're pregnant you don't stop worrying - ever I think!
I am about 7 weeks and I am worried about miscarrying again, but I find the worry comes and goes, sometimes I feel paralysed with fear and sometimes I'm so excited for the future.
When I'm scared I just try to take time to allow the fear to pass and it does. The best thing I find is to talk about it, it really doesn't seem so bad when you have shared it with someone.
I'm hoping to have an early scan as my miscarriage was at 7 weeks but we didn't find out till the 12 week scan.
If you ever need to chat, just give me a PM.
Hi!!
I just wanted to say, this is my 4th baby and I still worry like you are!!
I have been so worried about losing the baby etc! I feel sick everyday, of for some reason, I dont feel quite so sick, I worry lol
It is natural but try not to let it worry you too much and enjoy being pg!!
I just wanted to say, this is my 4th baby and I still worry like you are!!
I have been so worried about losing the baby etc! I feel sick everyday, of for some reason, I dont feel quite so sick, I worry lol
It is natural but try not to let it worry you too much and enjoy being pg!!
Thanks for the replies everyone. I'm glad to be amongst others feeling the same thing! I didn't ask the doc too many questions. He didn't congratulate me though - charming! He did listen to my fears though ( I have been having lots of discomfort in my lower back and abdomen - is this normal???) and sent some blood for BHCG test so hopefully if that comes back normal it will ease my mind (of course that started me worrying that he must think there is something wrong because they don't always send off bloods unless you have had a previous miscarriage - but I think he's doing it to ease my mind. hope, anyway - what do you think?). He asked me to go back next week when the bloods will be back to do my book in - that seems awfully early to me!! I will only be 6 weeks. He didn't mention a midwife, I am hoping I will get one though eventually - they are the specialists! He confrimed the EDD that I had suspected - 17th December. Although, I think I ovulate late in my cycle so if I get that far I won't be surprised if it's late! Anyone else looking at a similar EDD?
Don't worry about the doc, mine didn't exactly have a great bedside manner and he didn't congratulate me either.
I'm certain he did the bloods to reassure you as you mentioned how worried you were. At least you will be re-assured next week when they come back.
My EDD is 17th of December as well.
I'm certain he did the bloods to reassure you as you mentioned how worried you were. At least you will be re-assured next week when they come back.
My EDD is 17th of December as well.
Sounds like a decent appointment
TBH if you had fears/concerns he is probably just responding to those. Not that there really is anything wrong. Early pregnancy aches and pains are quite normal. I recall back ache and tummy ache (from constipation and everything starting to squish up etc). Sometimes you can start thinking the worst and it spirals. Best thing is to keep positive and try to relax.
Your booking in is early but then as you have raised these concerns he is again probably just trying to soothe things over for you. Also you went to see him quite early about your pregnancy so I'd not read too much into it The reason they tend not to book in before 8 weeks is that there really is nothing to do Its paperwork and they usually like to make sure you are along a little ways before doing that.
Depending on how it works in your local health authority you could be assigned a MW via your GP's surgery and go visit her there (occasionally they come to you also then) or see a MW at the hospital unit. It really does vary from area to area. Ask your GP next week how it works in your area to be sure.
TBH if you had fears/concerns he is probably just responding to those. Not that there really is anything wrong. Early pregnancy aches and pains are quite normal. I recall back ache and tummy ache (from constipation and everything starting to squish up etc). Sometimes you can start thinking the worst and it spirals. Best thing is to keep positive and try to relax.
Your booking in is early but then as you have raised these concerns he is again probably just trying to soothe things over for you. Also you went to see him quite early about your pregnancy so I'd not read too much into it
The reason they tend not to book in before 8 weeks is that there really is nothing to do Its paperwork and they usually like to make sure you are along a little ways before doing that. Depending on how it works in your local health authority you could be assigned a MW via your GP's surgery and go visit her there (occasionally they come to you also then) or see a MW at the hospital unit. It really does vary from area to area. Ask your GP next week how it works in your area to be sure.
Hiya!
Firstly congratulations! I'm also a fellow worrier.. Even though the pregancy was planned I worry that my crohns Disease will flare up, I worry about miscarrying, i worry about whether i will ever sell my house and move to a 2 bed and i worry that the baby wont be healthy.
I was having a lot of cramps at the beginning of the pregnancy and thought it maybe ectopic. The problem i had was that i get a fair bit of pain with the Crohns Disease anyway. To put my mind at rest i booked a private scan to check the baby was in the right place and had a heart beat. This has reassured me loads and i would recommend it.
I'm trying really hard to focus on the here and now and keep telling myself that whatever will be will be. Im also trying to keep busy as i think too much when im not.
This site is a great place to reassure you of any symptoms you maybe getting but i had to cut back using it as i would keep looking at peoples signatures which say when they have miscarried. I would then worry even more about the miscarrying!
My advice.. try and chill out and do something to keep your mind off it!!
Claire x
Firstly congratulations! I'm also a fellow worrier.. Even though the pregancy was planned I worry that my crohns Disease will flare up, I worry about miscarrying, i worry about whether i will ever sell my house and move to a 2 bed and i worry that the baby wont be healthy.
I was having a lot of cramps at the beginning of the pregnancy and thought it maybe ectopic. The problem i had was that i get a fair bit of pain with the Crohns Disease anyway. To put my mind at rest i booked a private scan to check the baby was in the right place and had a heart beat. This has reassured me loads and i would recommend it.
I'm trying really hard to focus on the here and now and keep telling myself that whatever will be will be. Im also trying to keep busy as i think too much when im not.
This site is a great place to reassure you of any symptoms you maybe getting but i had to cut back using it as i would keep looking at peoples signatures which say when they have miscarried. I would then worry even more about the miscarrying!
My advice.. try and chill out and do something to keep your mind off it!!
Claire x
nori said:
Awwww
Try not to let it worry you. On the other side of the coin is when you see the tcikers to show many women are going on to have succesful pregnancies and healthy babies (some after a previous MC, others not having suffered one). But still, lots of tickers to help reaffirm that its not always bad news. And there is always hope for those that MC that they can try again.Dolly_R and Charmed - we're so close in our EDDs! Hopefully we can share some happy times! Sherlock and others - you've been a great help.
Now, can somebody tell me if this is normal - my pains seem to take it in turns!! First my tummy hurts a bit. Then it stops. Ahh...great I think. No sooner have I breathed a sigh of relief than my back starts to hurt (today lower back has been v sore). Just now my lower back stopped hurting and I was just getting comfortable then my left bb started killing me!! Honestly. I suppose I should be grateful that they are taking in turns rather than all having a party together! I've also been very exhausted today - wonder whether the pains are related as someone suggested? Can I ask how everyone is coping with being knackered at work? Any tips?
I've been on holiday this week (get good hols as am a teacher) but I just don't know how I am going to keep up with the kids when I get back to work!!
Now, can somebody tell me if this is normal - my pains seem to take it in turns!! First my tummy hurts a bit. Then it stops. Ahh...great I think. No sooner have I breathed a sigh of relief than my back starts to hurt (today lower back has been v sore). Just now my lower back stopped hurting and I was just getting comfortable then my left bb started killing me!! Honestly. I suppose I should be grateful that they are taking in turns rather than all having a party together! I've also been very exhausted today - wonder whether the pains are related as someone suggested? Can I ask how everyone is coping with being knackered at work? Any tips?
I've been on holiday this week (get good hols as am a teacher) but I just don't know how I am going to keep up with the kids when I get back to work!!TBH just napping where you can worked for me. If you have a job with a decent lunch break I'd go find a quiet corner and sleep.
The tiredness is one of the hardest things to cope with I found as nights were also very poor sleep wise and by lunchtime I was exhusted.
If you can't nap during the day make sure you rest as much as possible in place of it.
And the pains come and go. Don't worry overly about them. Back ache, tummy pains, sore boobs, it all kicks in at some time for many. Others are lucky and don't really get any of that.
The tiredness is one of the hardest things to cope with I found as nights were also very poor sleep wise and by lunchtime I was exhusted.
If you can't nap during the day make sure you rest as much as possible in place of it.
And the pains come and go. Don't worry overly about them. Back ache, tummy pains, sore boobs, it all kicks in at some time for many. Others are lucky and don't really get any of that.
