housing issue - feeling guilty!

[Cixes]

Hiya, thought i would just air how i feel and get some feedback if you don't mind

We currently live in a tiny 2 bed house in a lovely area, and have lived here since house was brand new. But our family has grown and we now have 3 boys sharing a bedroom and the new little fella on the way. Oh by the way its a housing association property.

So i decided that i wanted to move for 3 main reasons -

a) house is way too small for us
b) i am starting uni in september and it would be more practical to live in the uni town (so i can still see alot of new baby and not spend as much on travel expenses)
c) my MIL lives next door but one and does my head in because she get us to do EVERYTHING for her!!

But i know that i won't get a property in as good an area as i live now (its practically private) and my family think i am mad for wanting to move! But i don't really have any other option, and as long as the place isn't REALLY bad i think that we can cope. I can't afford to rent privately or buy a house at the moment so i am stuck.

The thing is i feel like my family think i am being stupid and not putting the kids first. My arguement is that i could spend every penny on renting a house in a good area (but with no security) and never have money to make sure my kids have nice clothes and shoes and pocket money! Always be worrying about bills and so on - or i can live in a slightly rougher area, do my house up really nice and secure and my kids would have everything they need!

I have explained to my family that i can't cope with living so close to my MIL anymore and that i need some space to make my own family a happy one. I just feel guilty about leaving the town where they all are, and being looked down on yet again!

I know it probably sounds stupid as i am a grown woman but my family have a way of thinking they know best and making me feel like a total loser at times. My mum keeps saying i need to get sorted and buy a house, but to be honest i don't want the responsiblity yet and i want to get my nursing career off the ground first. I have seen my mum and dad run their own businesses for 10 years, and pay for private school for my brother - they are now in tons of debt and my mum barely sleeps with worry, i just can't face a life like that, i would rather live in a council house and be happy and secure than skint and worried!

What would you do if you were me?

 

[donna27]

I think you should do what right for you and your boys. It's always too easy (for me anyway) to get wrapped up in things said by others esp with all the extra hormones. It sounds like a really horrible place to be in but you really have to look at whats right for you not what others think you should/ought to do.

Good luck with everything

 

[nori]

Hiya hun, I'm currently in a 1 bed so will have to move soon too (still got to put my house on the market so could take ages). I've also thought long and hard about whether to go for a 2 bed in a nicer area or a 3 bed in a slightly rougher area.. ive decided to stick with the nicer area. I think my reason behind it is that my OH's brother lives in a rough area which i see a fair bit and i wouldnt want Ollie growing up there..

Its entirely your choice though and dont let anyone make you feel bad. If you know the area you want to move to im sure it will be fine!

Claire x

 

[linzi-x-]

i would rather live in a council house and be happy and secure than skint and worried!

to a certain extent your totally right, there are plenty of fairly decent council estates around as well as the not so decent one. It sounds like your family are scared of losing you, and moving to a bigger place is doin the right thing by your children despite what they say, if your house is as small as you say then its going to be a tight squeeze with 4 children.

i say do whatever you feel happy with. like you said you are a woman now and responsible for your actions. I stil liv with my parents at the mo (lookin to move out tho) and im often made to feel like a child.

good luck with whatever you decide, just follow your heart

xxxx linzi xxxx

 

[helsekia]

its a bit of a tough one hun.im sure you will make the right decision in the end and you must do whats right for you and your LO's.we had a small house in a really good area in a tiny village but we moved because i felt so isolated and spent most of my time driving into town.we have also lived in a rough area and it was rough too,but we had an excellent lifestyle,holis to spain,eating out at least twice a week,days out etcetc then we moved to a better area which is where we are now because i couldnt stand the thought of my daughter growing up in such a rough place.the areas better,the house is bigger but we siuffer in lifestyle as we are now permanently skint i think at the end of the day you just have to weigh up whats most important to you xxxx