Hoping someone out there understands?

[babyforbes]

Hi everyone,

Having never posted here before i need to introduce myself. Im Rachel 22 and have just suffered my first miscarriage. I was 21 weeks pregnant when i lost my little boy, Mylo.
I had spotting throughout my pregnancy, not continuos but roughly every 3 to 4 weeks, usually brown discharge or just once when i wiped - nothing major, nothing that was ever picked up on scans.
Everything was going great. We were so excited, had fought over names, bought clothes, got the buggy and even paid for private scans for an extra peak at our baby.
I knew something was wrong on the Wednesday. For a few days i had wet knickers, enough to be uncomfortable. I had extremely bad back and hip pains, i now am pretty sure this was labour pains. I went to my GP who completely dismissed me and said i will ache im pregnant. Two days later i woke up and was experiencing contractions about every 4 mins, although i didnt realise this is what they were. i went to the loo and saw a tiny clot when i wiped and alarm bells started ringing. I went straight to my labour ward and was examined. A senior doc was called and i was told (very coldly) i was in labour, already 5 cm dilated and my membranes were bulging. I was devastated.
18 hours later, on Nov 29th Mylo was born. Being only 21 weeks, he had already fallen asleep in my tummy. He looked perfect, he was so like his daddy.
A week later we laid him to rest. I am waiting for some answers from my consultant appt on 9th jan. I dont know what happened or why.
Im so desperate for some answers - will i be able to have another baby? Is there something wrong with me? Why did it happen?
Im sorry to ramble, i know everyone is here for the same reason, and i know my story isnt any more devastating than any of your own. I was hoping for someone to speak to. Maybe someone in the same situation, or someone who has experienced a late miscarriage, luckily i dont think there will be too many in this situation.
I hope you all had a good christmas and that 2009 brings us all happiness.
Rachel xx

 

[HannahD]

Oh sweetheart, i'm so sorry for your loss
That is so sad, I'm crying too I'm sure there was nothing you could have done and it was one of those horrible things that just happen unexpectedly. I hope you get some answers from your hospital soon.

I'm sure that things will work out for you again, although I know that's not much consolation at the moment.

Take good care and I hope that 2009 brings happiness for you and your family.

xx

 

[bumblebee87]

oh my goodness hunni, thats absolutely devastating

i hope you get the answers you need, and you get your take home bundle x

(((((((((hugs))))))))))

 

[trixipaws]

i'm so sorry for you rloss rachel. i cant even imagine how devastating it must be to miscarry so far into a pregnancy. hugeeeeee hugs to you i wish there was something comforting i could say

 

[TRACY41]

hi im sorry you are going through this , i lost my son, when he were 28 hours old, it were devastating and still is 4 years later, he were born at 32 weeks, so i know what your going through and i wouldnt wish it on anyone, the thing i struggle with is eveyone else getting on with there life, when im kind of stuck on that day. sorry to ramble, but if you want to chat im here. tracy.

 

[susan_1981]

I haven't been through what you have but I did have a mmc. I went for my 12 week scan on 23 December 2008 and found out that the baby had died at 7 weeks 2 days. I was devastated, as was my husband.

As for the grief you are feeling, you have every right to feel it. People experience tragedies every day but I always thought "it always happens to someone else". This is the way I have always felt. Now I have experienced this loss, it's awful. Give yourself time to get better and let it all out. You have every right to. Especially as you had to give birth to your child. I can't imagine what that must have been like. I remember watching an episode of Coronation Street where it happened to Maria and that made me cry, even though I wasn't pregnant then, but it seemed so traumatic.

Give yourself some time to get over this. And from what I have read, just because you have one miscarriage, it doesn't mean you are more likely to have another, unless there are medical reasons for it.

I really hope you have the support around you to help you get through this and I hope you have a successful, happy pregnancy next time xxx

 

[Kittykins]

to you.

I hope you get some answers next week. I found another website, www.pregnancyloss.info , very useful for information about miscarriage.

I ended up having a 2nd tri miscarriage (completed at 16w), but it was an anembryonic pregnancy so I didn't have anywhere near the emotional suffering that you have gone through. However, if it's any reassurance, I conceived again a couple of weeks later. There's no reason why you shouldn't get pregnant again. I can't guess at the reason for your loss, there are so many possible causes that it's useless to speculate - but the good news is that most causes of 2nd tri m/c can either be prevented in a subsequent pregnancy or are unlikely to recur. E.g. one cause of m/c between 16 and 24 weeks is a condition called 'incompetent cervix' - the first a woman knows about it is when her cervix starts dilating under pressure. The first sign is usually a leakage or gush of fluids (the waters breaking) and the next is that on examination, the cervix is found to be dilated and nothing can be done to save that pregnancy. However, in future pregnancies a couple of stitches are placed by the cervix (cerclage) and these are usually enough to hold everything in - I know a couple of women who've had this and gone on to have successful pregnancies.

Sometimes it's a chromosomal condition that wasn't picked up by a scan (not all are), in which case it's usually discovered from testing e.g. the placenta. Either it's a one-off and the woman was terribly unlucky (this happened to another friend at 17 weeks), or chromosomal testing of both parents reveals that one or both are carriers of faulty genes - IVF and careful embryo selection may be a solution.

There are many other reasons though. Sadly you're not alone, and I'm sure others will post here shortly about their experiences - but try to think as positively as you can and trust that you'll get an answer and a solution. I'm sure you will have another baby in the not-too-distant future, and in the meantime, look after yourself

 

[sarah113]

so sorry for your loss

i had a late m/c last january, i was 19 weeks but baby had died a couple of weeks before, i never found out why it happened the consultant said it was just one of those things.
i fell pregnant 3 months later and had my little girl on the 20th december, i thought that id never be able to have anymore children after what happened