Home Birth - would you let your child watch?

[evajo]

I saw my mum give birth at 16 and was very involved wiping babes eyes when head was born and then cutting cord. It was truely amazing. I plan a home birth and have a 9 year old son and two daughters 6 & 7. Whist i think my son wouldn't want to watch and my 6 year old can't cope with blood or anything squiffy like that my 7 year old is fasinated by it all and is intrigued at graphic pics of child birth that she has seen in some magazines. I am quite open and have answerd all of their questions openly, so they are aware of how it all happens - conception and birth (although i aimed it for their age).
Do you think i should have an open door policy and if they want to watch allow them? My heart tells me yes, but i don't want to put them off child birth atogether!

 

[Mervs Mum]

We are having a home birth and have 15yr old and a 16 month old daughters.

I liked the idea of them being at home. My OH wasnt keen. He felt that I woudnt be able to properly relax if they were still in the house and I was worrying about them. That made sense to me. I asked my eldest what she wanted to do and she said 'NO! I dont wanna listen to you screaming!' i explained that I hadnt screamed last time so I wouldnt be this time either! We had a discussion about how not all births are like they are on Eastenders!!

My concern with the little one is more that my OH would be tied up seeing to her when I might really need his support. So on balance, my eldest deciding not to be there meant that we could arrange for them both to go to my mum or sister's together and not have to worry about them at all. I want them back ASAP after the birth unless that's in the middle of the night or what ever.

 

[louise280981]

you know your daughter best so i would go with what you heart says, i think my daughter whos 9 would get upset if she saw me in pain but i know she would also love to see it happen as she has seen the water births on sky
all the best on what you decide xx

 

[MrsR]

I really want a home birth but not really considered what to do with Summer (she'll be 6 at time). I have ages to go yet so I'm not fussed. She's fascinated but when I explained (age appropriately) how bubs comes out she pulled her face so will prob try to arrange for someone to be here to watch her. I want her back immediatly though! Lol. I agree you know your daughter best but maybe have a plan b in case she gets distressed.

 

[jason1234]

as a mother you know your family better than anybody but i would be considering the possibility that should your daughter have a last minute change of heart and wish to leave, who will take her out????

if your partner leaves then you might regret him not being there, however if she leaves on her own then you will be focused on her being scared and not on the job at hand.

on the other hand your daughter could find it extremely intriguing and be very grateful for her involvement.

hope this helped

 

[evajo]

as a mother you know your family better than anybody but i would be considering the possibility that should your daughter have a last minute change of heart and wish to leave, who will take her out????

if your partner leaves then you might regret him not being there, however if she leaves on her own then you will be focused on her being scared and not on the job at hand.

on the other hand your daughter could find it extremely intriguing and be very grateful for her involvement.

hope this helped

Hi, have thought about what everyone has said - i think the soluton is to have my halfsister there too, she can be at home purely for children. She is 17 and often looks after children, comes on holiday with us and stays over in hols so it'll be like an extra pair of hands before during and after! Luckily we have a biggish house o the more the merrier!!!!

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

katie was happily playing away in her playpen when ella arrived, that wasnt exactly the plan tho i think if i had anymore, i'd want to give the girls the option of being there, but i'd be wary if they said yes, purely cos its one thing watching someone on tv giving birth, compared to watching your mum in agony and a room that looks like something out a horror film!! sounds like a good idea having your sister there tho to take them away if needs be!

 

[evajo]

katie was happily playing away in her playpen when ella arrived, that wasnt exactly the plan tho i think if i had anymore, i'd want to give the girls the option of being there, but i'd be wary if they said yes, purely cos its one thing watching someone on tv giving birth, compared to watching your mum in agony and a room that looks like something out a horror film!! sounds like a good idea having your sister there tho to take them away if needs be!

Sounds like yours came quick! I'm planning not too scream and that i'll be fairly controlled (haha) but i agree i think if she is considering it maybe i should tell her a few more details. She asked me today if she would be able to come to the hospital when i gave birth to watch - i explained that i was planning on having babe at home so she would be able to watch there if she wanted. All she was worried about was that i would have to go to hospitol and she wouldn't be able too!! Shes only seven - she will be 8 when babe comes but with sister there i can take it easy and go with the flow x