higher dose folic acid - scared and angry

[yarnwrangler]

so, i had my booking appointment - early at 5 weeks and while the midwife was asking about previous pregnancies i told her about my first, an angel we said goodbye to via a medical termination at 14 weeks due to the baby being anencephalic...

turns out this is a neural tube defect and i should have been advised to take the higher dose of folc acid - 5 milligrams as opposed to the over the counter 400 micrograms - no one had ever mentioned this to me before - i took the lower dose with Boo (who is perfectly healthy)

she said i should have been taking this higher dose preconceptually with this pregnancy and didnt know whether it was worth me taking the higher dose as the baby's spine will already be formed - she couldnt get through to the screening people so got me to take the higher dose anyways

so now i'm terrified that we're going to go through it all again - i was quite relaxed about this pregnancy up until i found out i hadn't been given the right advice - i've had a very slight bit of spotting and with the baby who wasn't forming properly i had spotting at 7 and 9 weeks then again at 13 which led to the MTOP - i'm really quite angry no one has ever raised this before (i've had a full pregnancy and a baby between then and now FFS) as if i had known i would have been taking the higher dose all the time we've been trying...

talk about going from being ok and relaxed about everything to being scared stiff...now i'm just waiting to lose this baby too...

 

[Anna23]

at least now you know and can now start taking the higher dose it'll start taking affect quickly

 

[noodle1]

Like Anna23 says, at least you know now. The chances are it is perfectly healthy, Boo was fine and you were on the lower dose then!

Try to stay relaxed and be positive

Just looked at your ticker, you're the same as me!!!

 

[yarnwrangler]

thanx for the replies ladies

see i know what you're saying makes sense - i'm just right p'ed off that i was so calm and now i'm all freaking out - i was hoping this prenancy would heal a lot of the hurt of Boo's (spent the whole 9 months terrified he wasnt going to make it and didnt bond with my bump at all) and it was and now i feel all wobbly again - why is in you can rationalise on an intellectual level and yet your emotions wont take any notice...

one bit of good news is i'll get a screening scan at the appropriate stage to check for any NTDs though how i'm gonna feel going back to the same place we made the decision to say goodbye to our angel is another story!

trying to be positive but theres a part of me saying 'say goodbye to your hopes now so it wont hurt as much if its bad news'

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

oh and noodle - yay! bump buddies!!

 

[Jaidy]

Im sending you lots of these hun it sounds like you are in need of them

Im sure this baby will be fine, please try and stay positive. I feel a bit like you at the moment, im terrified of miscarriage or problems with the baby as our friends have just had a baby thats been born with a chromosomal disorder, and all these experiences make you worry dont they. Im sorry about your angel but it would be highly unlikely that lightening would strike twice for you.

Keep your chin up babe!

 

[yarnwrangler]

thanx jaidy

lots of for you too - these first 12 weeks are a nightmare eh? you'd think we'd be ok having done it all before!

ive made a promise to myself to stay philosophical about it all - no matter how much i worry it isnt going to change how things ARE - we are passengers on this ride, i've stopped smoking and i'm eating as healthily as the morning sickness allows (haha i had mashed potato with cheese and jalepenos for tea!) what will be will be...

i do feel better for having a great big wibble here as well...sometimes you need to voice your fears to make them smaller in your mind...