hey girlies

[Sarah&Braydon]

As u all know Braydon hasnt seen his sperm donnor since may 7th this yr and to be honest i was happy about this as all he had put me and B thro we dont need him.
BUT as expected on B bday i had a text of him say ' hey sarah i cant believe its been a yr and things still aint sorted, i think of Braydon every day and really miss him, i would love to meet on fri (last week) and talk but if u think his better of with out him then fine' well i cant say i dont want B to see him as then ill be a bad guy and its not fair on B, so i lied and sed i couldnt meet Fri but could do this week
so im meeting him on friday for a coffee oh the joy, the thing id like to know from u girls is how hard/ easy i should be with him IE visits etc, ideally i would like to know if its a sensible idea i say i stay with them first few times as B dont know him, then do i say u can have him for an hour then start getitng longer i just dont know so i really hope u girls can help, mum and dad are a bit biased so not really getting a sensible awnser from them lol
thanks in advance
Sarah and Braydon

 

[budge]

well you shouldn't stop him seeing braydon but i think its reasonable to insist that he sees him on a REGULAR basis - say every week at a set day and time. This should be stuck to on both sides so that braydon can get used to this.
If he cannot give you assurance that he can commit to this arrangement or whatever arrangement you propose then id tell him that he should go and see a solicitir about it all.

theres no way id have my life and the life of my child turned upside down for a man who cannot commit to two hours a week visits to his son.
If it goes to the solicitor then you will find things are sorted out better and a routine will be set up.

The last thing you want sarah is to arrange a visit and him not turn up and your day ruined and braydon upset and disappointed.

 

[little*red]

Hey Sarah,
if i was in your shoes, the first thing i would make clear to him, is that he cant go mucking B around by saying he will take him and then cancelling, because its not good for B. Also tell him this is his last chance and if he F*cks up then its his own fault (and you wont be the bad guy because at least you gave him the chance), as its probably crucial to B to know if he has to form a relationship with this guy or not.
I agree with your idea that the visits should be supervised at first, but then its up to you guys after that, just see how the first few visits go and then go with your gut feeling on how they should continue. i hope you get things sorted for you & B's sake.
good luck on friday

 

[Yvonne]

I agree with budge hun,

Don't have him messing you around again, B is starting to understand things abit more now so he will be a little more aware of tension etc so do what you think is right.

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

All i can suggest is what others have said i really hope he dontmess up this time cuz you and B dont deserve it and im really starting to not like him Bernie says if he hurts you guys he'll come down and sort him out.
Hope all goes well hun
Katrina

 

[BubbleOne]

I think much like all the others above

You should let him see B but I think you can tell him the conditions. Why not? Make them as strict as you want. He is the one that keeps walking in and out of B's life.
I think he's lucky you are big enough to let him see B at all. There are a lot of people out there who would have cut all access by now.

Good Luck!!

 

[Em78]

all of the above is fab advice cant really add to it!

lets hope he has really changed and wants to be dad to B from now on - who knows, stranger things have happened! i hope for all your sakes that this is the case hun. be great if B could get to know his dad but only if he is going to stick around this time!

B will thank you for giving him the chance at least - if it doesnt work out then at least he will know mummy tried her best to make it work

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

Hi

All i can suggest is what others have said i really hope he dontmess up this time cuz you and B dont deserve it and im really starting to not like him Bernie says if he hurts you guys he'll come down and sort him out.
Hope all goes well hun
Katrina

is that a promise
thanks girls im really not looking foward to tomoz but its got to happen

 

[Lindsay]

How did you get on Sarah hun? Hope you were ok

Xxx

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

WELL...
he dont really give a crap not that i didnt realise that lol just thought hed ask to see B weekly at least etc but all he did was oh aint he cute,,,,does he have ne friends,,,, how are u? all he has said is that he will ask carolyn his new GF to pick me and B up and take us round his some time NO CHANCE
basically he just really didnt mind hopefully it will be the last time i hear from him, now iv said that hell be interested u wait lol
i even had to pay for my own coffee lol
basically a good waste of time

 

[Lindsay]

I'm sorry that he didn't seem interested but am pleased that he isn't causing you any grief. Can't believe that he said his new GF would pick you up to take you round, wtf as if!!!

Xxx

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

well she used to be my best mate thats y he thought i wouldnt mind
not that id go to his neway lol

 

[Hypnorm]

he should be picking you up not sending his gf to do the dirty work!! lasy g'et!!

at least he's not giving you grief

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

he dont drive lol prefer to spend money on good ol beer lol

 

[hels]

Cheeky so an so!
Is he paying anything for B??? I hope something works out for you and B xx

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

no he dont i dont want nutting of him i can look after B alone

 

[hels]

Thats really sweet Sarah. If thats how you feel, why not get the money B is entitled to and put it in the bank with his child trust fund. Look at it this way..if El Knob Head paid you £25 per week for example you could save £23,000 for B (BEFORE INTEREST) by the time he is 18!
Sure you might not want his cash, i wouldnt!!!! But it would be a good future for B. Gotta be worth it!

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

id get £3 a week with his wages

 

[hels]

Does he not work? If he does, try this calculator. Just put in what you think he gets after tax. xxxxx
https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v1/new/calc.asp

 

[Strangeness]

Hun I'm really sorry that it was a waste of time. Some people just ain't cut out to be parents and it seems he is one of them! I would say he's had his chance and he blew it! He sounds totally thoughtless with saying his gf will pick you and B up. I'd stay clear. I know he's B's dad but he ain't worth it! He shouldn't be upsetting you and B anymore.