Help..

[Anonymous]

I am 21 and my boyfriend is 24 I have just taken a pregnancy test which is positive and I am scared to death! I live with my parents still and my boyfriend shares a flat with his friend, we don't have very high incomes but I don't think I could go through with having an abortion. Please can anyone comment back if they have been in a similar situation or can just give me some advice please because I'm terrified. Thank you x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Hi hun
Have you told your parents? Would they be supportive? Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. You may be entitled to financial help and may be able to find somewhere for you and oh to live together? You will be just fine, how does your oh feel about it? x


Sent from my knackered iPhone

 

[Zoeox]

I was in a similar situation, I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant, OH 22. OH was certain he didn't want children as of yet and I wasn't bothered by it and was taking contraception. We both live with my parents and at the time he didn't have a job and I only have a low income. However I couldn't stand the thought of going through an abortion. I told my mom as that was easiest and then told everyone else from there which I was dreading. Everything is fine now, still not lots of pennies but we are coping. You can always message me if you like, or want someone to speak to x

 

[Loula]

unfortunately am in a similar situation, found out 2 weeks ago i was pregnant i told the father staright away coz were not together it was a pure accident and he has told me from day one to get an abortion but hasnt had the balls to meet with me, Ive just started a brand new job which is fab but with regaRDS TO parents my mum is playing dumb and wont tlk to me about it so im basically on my own too at the moment in a small bedsit on a low income and not haviong a clue what to do but i dnt think i can do an abortion especially now ive seen it on a screen but the thoughbt absolutely terrifies me of being on my own with a baby especially how am i gpoing to manage with buying everything etc etc

xxx

 

[BellaRiven]

First step is to take a breath and let it sink in, you won;t be able to think with a clear head if you don't.

I think you need to sit down with your OH and see what he thinks next , and then maybe speak to your parents about it.

I was in your situation when I was 18 and I didn't make any decisions until I had calmed down enough to do the above. I chose for an abortion but only because I knew in my heart of hearts I could not have provided a decent life for it, but that was my choice, it doesn't have to be yours.

Let us know how you fair up

 

[kaytee11]

Hey .. sorry you're feling so stressed hun .. i know how terrifying it is

I found out middle of september i was pregnant & i did not know what to do. My oh had just left for 3 months 3 days before that .. hes also still married to a a girl that could not be crazier she even arrived back to where he as visiting his family. So that did not help my head make a decision but in the end i had to block ALL of that out and decide what I Could do and what i could cope with. I dont live in the same country as my family & have been working away from home for over a year. I live in staff accommodation with my best friends but would have to move out with baby and because its such a small island rent is crazy high. I decided that i have my job i can get my maternity pay and eve that is better than what some people have and they survive
Dont get me wrong i had a termination booked, i went for the early scan to book it but on the day i just could not do it. I think i did it just to know its definately not for me. You need to sit with yourself and weigh up ur options .. If you need me just mail me im good at talking which is clear from my ridiculously long message!! But keep your head up xoxox

 

[Anonymous]

Thank you all so much for your replies especially kaytee an Zoe they have been really helpful I've kind of calmed down a little but still feel so nervous! In reply to cosmic girl no I haven't told my parents yet I know my mum would go mad but she would be supportive once it sank in but the decision is just so hard because I would love a baby because I love children and yea my boyfriend wants me to keep it but he said he will be there for me no matter what decision I make he's a really sweet guy and were really in love and I don't know if I could go through the guilt of 'killing' our baby :-/ xx

 

[Tell]

At least you have some support from your OH, thats great news! now he can hols your hand when you feel the time is right to tell your family. if your happy and your OH is happy then get him to take you out for a celebration. Congrats hunni your pregnant!!!

xxx

 

[lyndsey_28]

i was in a similar situation at 18,, i was living with my mom and my oh was his mom when i found out i was pregnant!! he was really supportive and our parents were great about it!! i moved into my oh parents house towarrds the end of my pregnancy and had lots of support, we moved into our own flat when my baby was 10 weeks old but still had lots of support from family!! 10 years on i aso have a 3 yr old and pregnant with my 3rd and have never looked back...my advice would be just wait till you calm down and have time to accept what has happened before you talk to your parents as you wil be a lot stronger to cope with what they say to you, and you never know it might not be as bad as you thought!!

good luck with whatever you decide to do xx

 

[Zoeox]

You have to do what is best for you. Least your OH is supportive for you. I was in the same situation I love children and my mum does too. My OH and all the family are fine with it now, they were all a little shocked at first but I think anyone is when they are told their is an addition to the family. Whatever choice you make I'm sure your family would be happy and all the girls here on PF are always really friendly and offer great support x

 

[MrsKLloyd]

Aww, it totally depends on how you feel about it deep down and what you think is best for the future.

Consider things like how long you've been together, how you feel the relationship is now and how you think it wll effect it, how you'll save and where you'll set up a home for your family.

Once you have those things in your head you might find it easier to consider your options.

Anything is possible and sometimes what looks like a scary sudden situation can turn into the most amazing thing in your life that makes you the happest person alive.

I'm 22 (had my son when i was 21) and my husband is 29 we were both on low income jobs but saved since we met 7 years ago, therefore we were able to buy our first house when i turned 18, gone from there really, kept saving (we don't drink, smoke or go out regularly) sold our house and brought a family one this year and our family is now growing. Things are amazing, we are now on one income and a low one at that but we are super careful and make it work! - i hope this shows anything is possible!

Give me a shout if you like and i'd be happy to help