Having a sad, lonely week.

[Jayjay027]

Hi girls

Just feeling a wee bit sad and lonely at the minute.

My FIL is currently on his death bed, and we're expecting him to go any day now. He's been suffering for 2 years now and its been awful for the poor man.
My DH is an only child, so his mum is sitting with the dad all throughout the day, and my DH has taken the night shift. So he's spending every night by his fathers side until he slips away.

I know its incredibly selfish of me to say this or even think it, but I hate being in bed alone all night. And I hate that I can't be there for my husband more, I just feel so useless! There's nothing I can do or say to make him feel better. Its just so awful.

My husband is taking time off work to deal with this, so he comes home from his dads at around 10-11am and goes to bed until around 5pm, wakes up, has dinner and a shower, and goes back to his dads at around 7pm. I just wish there was more I could do

I know this thread is very pointless, I'm just feeling very low and sad, especially for my husband! Its such a difficult time x

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[mrz85]

thats sad and u r not being selfish ..u r supporting him which I am sure he is very thankful for hugss

 

[Karate Kid]

I really feel for you sweetie, pregnancy is such a difficult thing to deal with in itself without having the added worry of your FIL and hubby. Obviously you want to be there for your hubby but you need him there too.

Hope your FIL isn't in any pain Hun x

 

[Jayjay027]

Thanks for the replies girls.

Karate kid - he's not in pain anymore, he's just been sleeping. He hasn't woken up since Wednesday so we're not expecting him to last much longer x

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[frankie247]

so sorry to hear about your fil. Thinking of you x

 

[Karate Kid]

Im so sorry hun, just know that you are doing all you can for hubby at the moment and that he does appreciate it even if he isn't saying anything.

You are in my thoughts and prayers, massive hug x

 

[Spammy]

Sorry your going through this honey. And you don't sound selfish at all. Your just feeling helpless which anyone would in this situation.

It is such a hard thing to have to go through. Went through similar wit my
Mum and I really feel for you and your OH. Here If you need a chat x

 

[FirstBabyEek]

So sorry to hear that you and your family are going through this, sending massive hugs your way.

You're not being selfish at all, I can't sleep if DH isn't home. We get so used to them bring there it's difficult, particularly when pregnant.

I just hope your hubby and mil are able to feel some peace now and in the time ahead.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers xx

 

[SARAHSTAR]

So sorry to hear this Jayjay. I don't think you're being selfish at all hun - I hate being on my own at night at the moment, being pregnant has made me feel quite vulnerable too.
We went through a similar thing with my Grandad very recently - it's horrid just waiting for someone to go so I hope he's not in pain.
Sending love to you and your family x

 

[EssJayPea]

Oh babe. I think just you being there will be enough for dh. Men don't always need/want to talk about their feelings but take comfort in knowing we are just there for them.

I think you're being really strong. It can't be easy.

Take care xx

 

[JoS]

So sorry to hear this, when my dad passed away two years ago my husband was really supportive, he didn't need to 'do' anything as such but just knowing he was there for me with a hug was enough. I'm sure your husband knows that you are there for him, to listen to him if he needs to talk and sometimes just knowing that is enough.
Pregnancy is a tough time anyway, so look after yourself x

 

[tweetyfoo]

jayjay, so sorry to hear what you and your family are going through, its very sad.

What you don't realise is that you are supporting your family by allowing him to do what he needs to do, and he knows this.

Big hugs to you hun

 

[Tara1985]

Hon you are far from selfish. It is plain to see your main concern is for your OH so please don't be hard on yourself for feeling down. You and hubby are both goin through a terrible time at which is suppose to be your most happiest. My heart goes out to you xxxx

 

[Calli]

What you don't realise is that you are supporting your family by allowing him to do what he needs to do, and he knows this.

Absolutely agree with Tweetyfoo. When we were losing our mum my brother's ex kept saying he wasn't seeing her or the children enough. It's so important OH's give us the space and support to just be able to be there. It's so difficult for everyone in this situation but you can never get that time back to say goodbye. I'm really thinking of you all. Xxx

 

[Jayjay027]

Aw girls ur all absolutely amazing!! I'm sat here in tears reading all ur replies!

You guys have no idea how much I appreciate the support, it really does mean the world to me.

Thanks so much everyone x

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[Violet]

Ah hon I really feel for you and your family! Just by letting him go round u r supporting him so much. Years ago my original partner died and his best mate used to come round and sit with me for hours every day. His wife never complained and it's something I will never forget.

Thinking of u and yr family.

 

[cosmicgirl]

So sorry hun, what a sad time. You aren't being selfish at all, you are giving support at a difficult time x

 

[Little_angel]

Sorry you are both going through such a hard time xx

 

[leesey]

You are being a wonderful wife, never feel like you are being selfish for wanting your hubby around, you are giving him everything he needs by loving him and wanting him with you! The fact that you are aware of his needs will be more than enough support for him, and he may not say it (although your hubby is an absolute doll and will more than likely be thinking of you too through this time) but he will appreciate it so much xxx

 

[Em91]

Aww Hun it's horrible isn't it!, you're not being selfish i'm sure your DH knows you're there and supporting him even though there really isn't anything you can do.

I know when we lost my Grandad after a long battle with cancer last year, for the last 2 weeks he was so confused he mostly slept and when he wasn't sleeping he thought he was back in WW2! He had been told he had 2 days to live 6years earlier and had most definitely fought for as long as he could but I think it got to a point where he was in such agony and he had given up that we sort of hoped it would end for him soon! So he could rest in peace.

again, take care. x