Having a down day (sorry, long)

[moss]

Sorry to complain AGAIN. Maybe it's the weather but I'm feeling so down today! The main thing is that my husband and I don't have a lot of money so I have worked very hard to make a budget for us. I made a spreadsheet with tons of detail, which adds and subtracts pay and spending. I enter every little penny we have to it. My husband got his first full pay from a new job today and it's £62 less than I thought it would be. I haven't seen his payslip so it might be that he was over-taxed, but I kind of doubt it since he was already paid by this place for half a month (ages ago). This completely throws off my budget for such a long time.

Also, he was planning on taking a second job with the local nurse bank because we both worked for them in Edinburgh, but he applied last September and he still hasn't heard back. Last time he spoke to them they told him they were holding interviews in May and that he was one of the people they were interviewing. They also said that since he has so much experience he would be guaranteed a job and that the interview was a formality. Well, he never heard from them so he has been trying to call over and over, and even came to them and left a note on the desk of the only person who can help him. Still nothing. It has to be the nurse bank because the other job has a very unpredictable shift pattern and with the bank you can choose your own shifts and take as many or as few as you want.

All of this means I am going to have much less money that I need for the baby things I need. We are already being given a lot of hand me downs and things, but there is still so much more. I am going to have JUST enough to sustain rent and bills. Food prices are going up and we might have to start eating badly, not to mention we aren't going to have any money to do anything fun, ever. I'm so depressed about this and feel like an idiot for having a baby in this situation, even though I am so happy and looking forward to this baby more than anything. I never thought I would be able to get pregnant because of how bad my PCOS is, and now that I am the last thing I want to feel is any negativity about it.

 

[BeckyJ]

first of all have some of these

i know how you feel with money, just as you think your getting somewhere something always comes up

you have something that money cant buy to give your baby though and thats love, seems simple but unfortunately not all children get this

as for baby things have you tried the local charity shops, some bargains to be had in there and some of the stuff is new or as near as, it can be fun shopping for bargains and half the time you get stuff thats just as good for a fraction of the price

 

[moss]

I have been looking in charity but Dundee pretty much sucks for everything! Ha... I know that sounds negative but my husband and I haven't been happy since coming here. Most of the stuff I need can't really be second hand, though, like mattress, nappies, etc. I always said I wanted to be able to give my baby nice things. I didn't mean the most expensive clothes or toys, but just to be well equipped and have healthy food (for the first while meaning I eat healthily) and it just looks like it isn't going to turn out that way at the moment. I pay a lot for rent, but we aren't in a position to move now for obvious reasons as well as not having the deposit, the council's list is years long (even for vulnerable people, apparently) and the places you can go are filled with heroine dealers. I would rather starve than raise my child somewhere like that.

Arrrgh I want to go home!

 

[fuffins1981]

I had my first son living at my moms. Had to become part time after. Then got my flat when he was 6 months old.

Still live in my flat. My now partner lives in Nuneaton. He earns not s lot at all. He has his daughter 1-2 nights a week. But now the CSA have said he has to pay his ex set amount of money. This will leave him with nothing.

I had to give up my job at 24 weeks. Was supply staff in libraries. SPD and hernia became too painful. So, I will have to bring up my son and new baby on benefits, until i can get back to work(that sticks in my throat, as I have always been a worker since before leaving school)

We can't afford to live together now, as we would be even worse off. I am very depressed over this too.

I really feel for you chick. I am sure you do not earn enough to not get help from tax credits. I think you can do a calculation on their site for how much they would give you for bubs. Or, you can call their helpline.

I hopethings sort for you

 

[BeckyJ]

big hugs to you both

have you both seen this grant

http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/JCP/Cus ... 0.xml.html

it may be worth a try????

 

[sarah2807]

 

[moss]

Oh, that's the other thing. We are also students so we aren't eligible for any benefits even though we had been working on full tax and NI for the past nine years. We are being punished for trying to plan for our future. It sometimes seems we would be better off giving up and deciding to live on benefits forever. We won't do that, though. The only thing we are eligible for is child tax credit (yay, because it's soo much) and luckily we don't have to worry about council tax. Still, there is more to worry about than we actually have money for by the looks of it.

 

[fuffins1981]

big hugs to you both

have you both seen this grant

http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/JCP/Cus ... 0.xml.html

it may be worth a try????

Thank you Becky . I am gonna get my application in for that one soon.

 

[moss]

Oh, fuffins, sorry I didn't mean to brush off what you said. I am so distracted at work! Ha... I'm bad for being online. I'm sorry you are going through similar worries. I'm sure we will both figure something out, but the waiting and seeing is so difficult, isn't it? It's especially bad when you know you are making sacrifices and being proactive about things yet still feel like nothing is working out.

 

[fuffins1981]

Oh, fuffins, sorry I didn't mean to brush off what you said. I am so distracted at work! Ha... I'm bad for being online. I'm sorry you are going through similar worries. I'm sure we will both figure something out, but the waiting and seeing is so difficult, isn't it? It's especially bad when you know you are making sacrifices and being proactive about things yet still feel like nothing is working out.

Didn't feel like you brushed me off! This is your thread. It is very hard when you are a student. I was s student radiographer. Had to live on a pittance bursary, pay may rent with a loan and pay childcare costs. Was a very depressing time

I wish you luck

 

[mibiuk]

Hi im butting in from 2nd tri..

Sorry to hear what your going through Moss

I would speak to Citizens Advice Burea or Job Centre for help about what benefits and help your really are entitled too.. believe me hun they dont TELL you what you can get as if you are stupid like i was and never found out yourself then they dont send you a letter saying this is what you could and should be entitled to.

As for your housing i know recently this has caused you some concern about your rent being increased.. i again would fight this with the housing office and explain that now one of your salaries is going to be lost then this is going to put you into financial hardship.. I know nothing how the system works in Scotland but for crying out loud they must be able to help you.. and explain to them you are not prepared to bring your child up in a herione den (sorry that may be abit strong).

This country gets right on my nerves it seem the people that work hard or train get nothing but if you sit on your backside all day... you get everything paid for its morally wrong.

Take care hun and i really hope you get this sorted.. you deserve a break and like alot of peeps have say money can't buy love (it does help) and when LO finally comes into the world that is something worth while having.

Kathyx

 

[sarah113]