Having a bad day

[nicki]

Its only mid-day & i'm wishing I could go back to bed already.
Apart from being tired I feel really crap today & feel like i'm a bad Mum & Wife.
DH has worked nights the last two nights & obviously needs to sleep during the day so i've been trying my hardest to keep Jamie quiet but he will not stop grizzling which in turn is making me upset, angry & frustrated.
I was trying to feed him earlier & ended up putting him back in his moses basket as he was messing around so much & crying no matter what I did. I went & sat at the kitchen table crying my eyes out.
Whenever he cries & DH goes to him he stops but he rarely does that for me, it makes me feel very unloved & useless.

Lately whenever I try to do anything I can't finish it, the house is a pig-sty (DH never helps out) i'm so hot & bothered which isn't helping matters, I need to do some work but every time I start Jamie crys & even though I was feeling good about life a few days ago i'm feeling fat & horrible now.

I saw a friend yesterday for a bit & she made me feel a bit crap because I never went to my post-natal group. She thinks I should be out all the time interacting with other new Mums & so jamie can socialize etc. Does that make me a bad Mum because I don't go to anything like that i.e baby massage/bumps & babes/coffee morings etc?

Sorry for the long post & moan - going to go & cry myself again now

Nicki.x

 

Sorry you're feeling rubbish hun. Just wanted you to know you're not the only mum who feels rubbish and crying today. I'm ready to give up. Sending you a big hug

 

[Em78]

Ah Nicki sorry its being a shit time.

he is probably hot and bothered too. they all have grizzly days and there is nothing wrong with walking away and leaving them to cry for a bit. i often did this with alex when he was Jamies age. if nothing you do calms them then they may as well be in a different room so you can calm down. i know this isnt for everyone but it worked for us.

i'm sure your dh understands that you cant help it if jamie crys when he's trying to sleep. as for them being sweetness and light for their daddies dont get me started! alex could be a total pain all day so the house was a total tip, i'd tell dh this onthe phone and when he got home Al would be an angel! Dh once said (and only once!!) i thought you said you couldnt get things done cos he was a pain - he's ina great mood!

i never went to postnatal groups or anything hun (just not my thing!) the closest i came was meeting you and Suzy last week!

things will get better again i promise.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[lauramumof2]

Hi hunny,
Sorry you are feeling so crap today but do you know what, its completely normal. At your stage with a new baby this is going to happen. It might actually help if you did try and get out to your mum and baby groups because you would see that all the new mummies are probably going through the same, but its so normal sometimes to feel like you are the worst mummy with the messiest house. And as for them stopping crying when someone else lifts them! Why do they do that, little buggers.

But dont worry about jamie socialising, you are all the interaction he will need just now .

When I say try to get out I mean a wee simple mum and baby group, dont worry about coffee mornings and all these groups, just somewhere where there are new mums all wanting to talk to other new mums.

I would urge you as well to speak to your hv or mw, sometimes it can help just to get it off your chest. Would dh understand? Just because he has been working nights doesnt mean he 'has' to sleep all day.

 

[Yvonne]

Don't be silly hun, you are not a bad mother or wife.

No one can work the miracles of keeping a baby quiet, they are not robots, and as for Jamie being grizzly it is probably the heat, Jack is drinking and eating less milk and food.

You are not a bad mummy in anyway what so ever, if you need a chat you have my Email

 

[Kim]

I've just written a very similar thread without reading this first. Go and have a read of mine, that will make you feel better, not in a nasty way but to know someone else feels crap too.

Hugs

 

[futuremum]

Big hug to you Days like that happen. Once i even had my OH's brother who told him " are you sure you are not needed, are you sure she is coping?" I felt sometimes as if people thought i was not capable of looking after thomas. My OH told me he could do the housework and look after thomas and could not understand why i could not do it, well he cannot always manage even if thomas is an angel lol

i know how you feel and it will get better. As far as groups are concerned it is a good excuse to break the routine but you do not have to go. i would recommend thought to go out with a friend so it feels like you are a person. you would not believe how good it is to talk to someone who sees you as a person and calls you by your name and not by screaming or crying lol

 

[Rosieroo]

I go to a baby group once a week but that's it (didn't go today as it's too hot). I normally go swimming etc with Ella alone. Occasionally I meet up with other mums in the week, but not regularly. I do find when I go to my baby group that I really enjoy getting out of the house and talking to other mums in person. Ella seems to behave better then aswell.

I don't know about anyone else but if I am home and Ella is stroppy then it starts feeling like the walls are closing in around me and makes me feel 10 times worse, it's good to get out, even for a little walk (but real hard in this heat).

Don't beat yourself up hon

 

[Duds]

Oh Nicki
Im sorry you feel so bad today... please believe me it is normal to feel like this....
Your a new mum and have had a massive life change to get used to. I remember what Aimee was like at Jamie's age and I was terrified to go out as all she would do is cry cry cry
I went to post natal group & believe me you didnt miss anything, it was rubbish! Jamie is too young to interact with other babies at the moment anyway so dont worry about that.

Know how you feel about the DH as mine works from home sometimes and expects me & Aimee to be quite all day & throws a paddy if we make to much noise! grrrr MEN
As for the house I feel excatly the same, I cant get anything done and i find this more frustrating than anything, my house is a real sty & it drive me crazy.

Just to cheer you up.... check out the size of my ironing pile !! LOL
mmmm shall I do some now....... naaaaa

 

[nicki]

LOL Duds, that made me smile (but reminded me of my pile of ironing!!)

Thanks everyone for your replies. You lot are great I'm feeling better today (well, actually i'm not - went out last night & now have a hangover !)

I do keep trying to tell myself we all have off days and it's normal. Jamie is happier today, probably coz the temps dropped & typically because Daddy's home grrrr!

 

[ToriElla]

We all have days like this! You are a brill mam!!

I know what it's like trying to keep them quiet through the day - my brother in law lives downstairs and he was working nights. Looking back that was the most stressful time for me because i had to try and keep her quiet whereas now she can make as much noise as she likes.

things that stress me - having to tidy up if i people are coming over who i dont feel comfortable with. having to get eva out by a certain time/deadline. having to try and keep her really quiet.

is there a park near you? if your DH is asleep through the day and jamie is noisy maybe you could take him to the park let him shout all he likes and he will probably be shattered by the time you get home and sleep for a few hours xxx