shootingstar22
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- Jun 9, 2008
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Why is it that men have to be so difficult.
As some of you know my baby is not head down and therfore I have to have a c-section. Anyway my mum had to have a c-section with both my brother and I, my brother was born 6 years ago so it's still quite fresh in her mind. As we live in my parents town house, she is aware that after major surgery I am going to be tired and going to struggle with two flights of stairs. So she has offered to fly over (my parents live abroad) a few days after and stay at the house down the road in case we need her. She has basically offered to take or walk the dogs, clean the house, do te cooking an help wih nightine feeds if we so want it. Mum would plan to stay for 5 days and then my bother and dad would fly over to pay a visit...they would then leave after a couple of days- would also mean they would be here for my birthday.
Anyway I mentioned this to DH as my mum said to discuss it with him, and he was all like "that's a nice 'offer'" blah blah blah. Finallly gets out that we can't be strict on visitng an then allow my mum access whenever she wants (bear in mind I turned down any help from his mum weeks ago.) if his mum and others can't visit. I explained that my mum would only be here as a cleaner and is too pratical to fuss over a baby...she doesn't want to mess a routine up, nor play a parent. She just wants us to be able to relax and for me to not be stressed. Being as she not long ago had a section and she evern struggled, I think she knows what she's talking about. Plus I'd rather let my mum see me in pain then his mum and at least I can tell my mum the f off if I want...and she would respect that. The other thing is my mum can drive and get around, where as his mum has to use buses or ask my dh to drive her...so quite frankly my mum is still better option...and as this is her house she knows here everyhing is an we have the same idea on what is considered a clean house.
Anyway dh left the conversation with "well whatever you decide yoiu can then explain it to my mum". This has really pissed me off and upset me...I see where he is coming from. But I see my mum acting as a nurse and his mum as a person that wants to be the first to see the child and spends ages fussing over the babe-my parents are just under 20 years younger, in fact his patents are the same age as my grandparents-so you an probably understand how different our parents are.
To add my dad an brother willcome out a week after my mum and around that
time we would say to DHs mum to book a flight for his dad so he can come visit-again his parents live abroad most the time, it's his mum tht shuffles back an forth-she's hangin around in the uk at the moment because of impending arrival grrr.
Am u wrong to want my mum here? If she is here is it wrong that I still decline visitors?
As some of you know my baby is not head down and therfore I have to have a c-section. Anyway my mum had to have a c-section with both my brother and I, my brother was born 6 years ago so it's still quite fresh in her mind. As we live in my parents town house, she is aware that after major surgery I am going to be tired and going to struggle with two flights of stairs. So she has offered to fly over (my parents live abroad) a few days after and stay at the house down the road in case we need her. She has basically offered to take or walk the dogs, clean the house, do te cooking an help wih nightine feeds if we so want it. Mum would plan to stay for 5 days and then my bother and dad would fly over to pay a visit...they would then leave after a couple of days- would also mean they would be here for my birthday.
Anyway I mentioned this to DH as my mum said to discuss it with him, and he was all like "that's a nice 'offer'" blah blah blah. Finallly gets out that we can't be strict on visitng an then allow my mum access whenever she wants (bear in mind I turned down any help from his mum weeks ago.) if his mum and others can't visit. I explained that my mum would only be here as a cleaner and is too pratical to fuss over a baby...she doesn't want to mess a routine up, nor play a parent. She just wants us to be able to relax and for me to not be stressed. Being as she not long ago had a section and she evern struggled, I think she knows what she's talking about. Plus I'd rather let my mum see me in pain then his mum and at least I can tell my mum the f off if I want...and she would respect that. The other thing is my mum can drive and get around, where as his mum has to use buses or ask my dh to drive her...so quite frankly my mum is still better option...and as this is her house she knows here everyhing is an we have the same idea on what is considered a clean house.
Anyway dh left the conversation with "well whatever you decide yoiu can then explain it to my mum". This has really pissed me off and upset me...I see where he is coming from. But I see my mum acting as a nurse and his mum as a person that wants to be the first to see the child and spends ages fussing over the babe-my parents are just under 20 years younger, in fact his patents are the same age as my grandparents-so you an probably understand how different our parents are.
To add my dad an brother willcome out a week after my mum and around that
time we would say to DHs mum to book a flight for his dad so he can come visit-again his parents live abroad most the time, it's his mum tht shuffles back an forth-she's hangin around in the uk at the moment because of impending arrival grrr.
Am u wrong to want my mum here? If she is here is it wrong that I still decline visitors?
