'Going to the pub love'

Anyone else heard this from their bloke in the last week? I know it probably is selfish of me to expect him to stay in with me and Damien every night after he has slogged his day out at work, but I feel a bit trapped in my own 4 walls and that I don't really get much of a 'social life' myself. I go out once or twice in the week to see BubbleOne, but I don't really get time to be Sami, and not mummy - time away from Damien. (Although I do love the time I spend at your house BubbleOne!! And I do love being a mum!). I'd like to be able to just go for a couple down the pub with some mates too, but I don't actually have any where I live. All my friends (that are left) are at least 15-20minute drive away, not exactly practical for 'just a quick one with the girls'.

I've tried to make friends with where I live, but the other mums are twice my age (not that I mind, but they mind me), or they are people I went to school with who don't like me (I was bullied badly at school and not liked by many girls).

Admittedly tonight he has gone out and I said yes he could go. He says "oh it would be nice if you could come" when he knows full well that Damien can't look after himself. I have tried to explain things before but he says he will stay in more and doesn't. He not being pig-headed and doesn't demand to go out, and if I asked him to stay in each time he probably would, but then I would be made to feel guilty, either by his friends keeping texting him, or my own concience.

I'm probably just having a moan, but wanted to get it off my chest. Sorry, but thanks if you took the time to read this rubbish!

Gonna go and do all the washing up now, as it won't wash itself

 

[beanie]

I know how you feel, especially as my blokey has just gone out. My friends all live a half hour drive away and it is frustrating at times not being able to just switch off being a mummy and going out when you want. Could someone like you's or Mark's mum look after Damien for a couple of hours so you can both go out together. Me and OH do this once a fortnight even though we tend to go out with his mates and they talk about what they got up to on their last night out which I have missed as I had to go home early to feed Seren or express as my boobs were going to explode, or had stayed in as she can't quite look after herself yet . Or perhaps your friends could come over to you?

 

My parents work alot bless them and they do as often as they can. Marks parents are busy with a house move so it's a bit selfish of me to ask.
I think the thing that gets to me is he can go out when he wants, but if I wanted to, then it's a big arrangement and I have to come home early coz he can't deal with a shitty nappy. Havent got many mates left and the ones I do have I can't chat to openly (except BubbleOne) coz they don't have family life and they just talk about when they last got bladdered, etc, like your OH's mates. That and the fact most of them don't drive

Maybe I just miss spontinaity of freedom, amd annoyed that he still has it

 

[beanie]

Its hard isn't it, I really resented OH for the fact that his life hadn't changed as much as mine seemed to have and that he was anble to go out when he wanted and not have to get in till the early hours. He does keep telling me to go out but by the time I have got dressed (that is if I find something to wear) and ready I can't be arsed anymore. I hear what you are saying about your parents and Mark's parents but they may be thankful of the time with their grandson, I always felt guilty asking MIL but she told me she loves all the extra time she spends with Seren.

 

by the time I have got dressed (that is if I find something to wear) and ready I can't be arsed anymore.

I know that feeling! I've tried to go out a couple of times and got ready, but I'm still not comfortable with my body and I just get down about it and sulk!

Ahsod it, I guess Damien appreciates me. Was just having a moan. He just text me saying he was on his way home soon coz he couldn't be bothered, I'm secretly pleased

 

[lauramumof2]

Havent got many mates left

Sod them, they are missing out not you. You have a lovely wee boy. Its amazing how much fun these wee bundles become and the conversation is amazing and the touching thing is that you are almost the only person who knows exactly what he is saying.

I get it a bit easy, I can go out but I dont because I cant be bothered and I like to stay in.

Make up, whats is that??? I vaguely remember it goes near the face.

Sami, i wish you stayed near me as you sound like a lovely person.

 

Thanks Laura you're message cheered me up - I always hope I come across nice and not an oger! (sp?)

I love being a mum, and I guess if I really was that bothered I would ask someone else to look after him, I just don't like other people looking after my baby who he doesn't know and when they don;t know his routines.

I need a double of me

 

[Tiny Sue]

Ogre? No way!

Sami you're lovely. Don't be so hard on yourself. By the way I have a whole house that won't clean itself and is showing every sign that nobody else has recently either.

I feel lucky in that OH rarely goes out unless the two of us can, he doesn't like going to the pub without me. He has been out four or five times without me since I got pregnant, I think. And I still feel like I couldn't be bothered. Our priorities have changed, that's all.

It's also hard when the girl has to give up so much. When I moved in with OH, I left all my friends in musical societies about 60 miles away, all my drama group friends, all my neighbours and had to set out and carve a new life. Now my friends consist of one neighbour who's moving away soon and the only colleague who is anywhere near my age. And I've been out of touch with them since my pregnancy because I work in a town that's 20 miles away! I know how it goes, chickie.

It's difficult but in the end it's all worth it!

Sue

 

[petchy]

sami, i feel exactly the same! would be lovely to be able to just go out on the spur of the moment like our OHs just once in a while... i'm "mummy" all the time now, never have any time to myself. even when ruben is in bed in the evening and i try to relax in the bath i can't quite relax, coz i have the baby monitor in with me in case he wakes and starts screaming!

it won't last forever - that's what i keep telling myself!

 

[lauramumof2]

it won't last forever - that's what i keep telling myself!

Honestly, it wont Hang in there.

 

[emma1976]

Bloody men is all I can say. I love being a single mum to be honest as I know if I had stayed with my ex then he would have been out all the time expecting me to stay in seeing as that is what he was like when I was pregnant.

They're missing out on all the little milestones so more fool them!

Em xxx