Going from 1 child to 2...tips?

[Firsttimemumx]

Hiya, I have a 15 month old daughter and I'm currently 13 weeks pregnant with my second. My daughter will be 22 months when the second one arrives does anyone have any tips/advice or anything you wish you were prepared for/knew before having two babies..

 

[kumber]

It sounds really obvious but I never expected to be quite so tired. I knew I would be tired but not as tired as I was.

I actually find it harder now that my biggest two are bigger as they fight, moan, they both need potty training, so I wish I'd realised how the newborn part was comparatively easier as I may have enjoyed it more!

 

[Browneyed Girl]

It's very hard to get out the door with two so prepare as much as you can the night before (my two are 21 months apart). Introduce the baby gradually to your toddler so they don't feel pushed out, I didn't hold my baby in front of my toddler for the first couple of days and especially when he came to the hospital for the first time as I didn't want to stress him any further. My toddler ignored the baby for the first few days but now loves him to bits. Be prepared that your toddler might shows signs of stress/anxiety and provides lots of one on one attention if possible, it might take a few weeks to show - my toddler started waking at night when my baby was about 6 weeks old and this lasted a couple of weeks. I found that the newborn was relatively easy, it's the toddler you need to really watch out for. It's tempting to be overprotective with the baby but again you need to let your toddler touch the baby and learn to be gentle, I think keeping him away could create resentment (not saying you would but I know some people think this way). Try and get out of the house every day even if it's just a short walk, it really helps break the day up and settle the kids if they need it. Accept any help available to you, it is hard! Xx

 

[CARNAT22]

My gap was 22 months too.

Top tips
* accept any help from family (my BIL used to take the older one for one day at the weekend and do something 'fun' with him)
* make sure partner takes over with older child - does bath and bedtime
* lower your standards with regards to cleaning / housework
* if you are breastfeeding them see to older child first - settle them and then you can concentrate on baby
* don't feel guilty if baby cries for a minute or two. As long as they can see or hear you they'll be fine.
* always assess which child's needs are more urgent. Wiping the older child's bum would come before little one nappies for example.
* if you aren't using a double pram (we didn't) then make sure older one is out of the pram before baby arrives.
* no big changes immediately after baby comes - so don't start potty training or nursery in the first few months
* involve older child - let them get nappies and wipes when you change babies bum.
* lots of cuddles and praise for older child.
* when baby is a bit older make sure you spend some one to one time with older child.

Best of luck. Mine are almost 5 and almost 3 now and would be lost without each other.

 

[CDx]

No advice but following this thread. Although the she gap between my 2 will be bigger, looks like my wee boy will get an extra special present around his 3rd birthday.

Cx

 

[Firsttimemumx]

It sounds really obvious but I never expected to be quite so tired. I knew I would be tired but not as tired as I was.

I actually find it harder now that my biggest two are bigger as they fight, moan, they both need potty training, so I wish I'd realised how the newborn part was comparatively easier as I may have enjoyed it more!

Tiredness is a huge worry! My first slept through since 8 weeks so I'm kinda nowhere near used to sleepless nights. In fact the night feed stage was so short lived I'm not sure I ever got fully sleep deprived! So that's definitely something I worry about. I can see how it would be more difficult as they get older! Thank you for replying

 

[Firsttimemumx]

It's very hard to get out the door with two so prepare as much as you can the night before (my two are 21 months apart). Introduce the baby gradually to your toddler so they don't feel pushed out, I didn't hold my baby in front of my toddler for the first couple of days and especially when he came to the hospital for the first time as I didn't want to stress him any further. My toddler ignored the baby for the first few days but now loves him to bits. Be prepared that your toddler might shows signs of stress/anxiety and provides lots of one on one attention if possible, it might take a few weeks to show - my toddler started waking at night when my baby was about 6 weeks old and this lasted a couple of weeks. I found that the newborn was relatively easy, it's the toddler you need to really watch out for. It's tempting to be overprotective with the baby but again you need to let your toddler touch the baby and learn to be gentle, I think keeping him away could create resentment (not saying you would but I know some people think this way). Try and get out of the house every day even if it's just a short walk, it really helps break the day up and settle the kids if they need it. Accept any help available to you, it is hard! Xx

Yeah that's something I've been really worrying about. My little one is good with her Dollys and smaller babies but I do think that it will be very different when there's a 'new baby taking away mummy' thank you for your advice all noted

 

[Firsttimemumx]

My gap was 22 months too.

Top tips
* accept any help from family (my BIL used to take the older one for one day at the weekend and do something 'fun' with him)
* make sure partner takes over with older child - does bath and bedtime
* lower your standards with regards to cleaning / housework
* if you are breastfeeding them see to older child first - settle them and then you can concentrate on baby
* don't feel guilty if baby cries for a minute or two. As long as they can see or hear you they'll be fine.
* always assess which child's needs are more urgent. Wiping the older child's bum would come before little one nappies for example.
* if you aren't using a double pram (we didn't) then make sure older one is out of the pram before baby arrives.
* no big changes immediately after baby comes - so don't start potty training or nursery in the first few months
* involve older child - let them get nappies and wipes when you change babies bum.
* lots of cuddles and praise for older child.
* when baby is a bit older make sure you spend some one to one time with older child.

Best of luck. Mine are almost 5 and almost 3 now and would be lost without each other.

Thank you so much lots of really helpful advice!

 

[Firsttimemumx]

No advice but following this thread. Although the she gap between my 2 will be bigger, looks like my wee boy will get an extra special present around his 3rd birthday.

Cx

Congratulations on going from one to two