god i know im boring u all but need some friendly words

[Tori]

well, I went to see my counciler today and i told her everything thats happened between me n rob - and she said that i have to be 100% honest with him and tell him (him -being rob) everything, which i kinda have but theres more stuff to tell him, anyway im really worried he'l think im only sayin it to get bk with him, i love her dearly and just need to prove myself to him, that i can change or be the person he wants, once he knows everything.

1/2 of me knows that this isnt gunna change anything cos hes so bloody stubborn I know im not perfect but he isnt either, but he wont admit hes wrong or things that hes done is really hurtful - like sat, he woulndt come bk n sit with me whilst i was having a panic attack cos he had to go met his mates (one of them being kate) and they were more important cos he hadnt seen Kate in ages n was xlose to loosin her friendship, which kinda made me so anyway he left me to hyperventorlate (sp) n crack my head open - now look stupid as i have a huge bump

I just know that hes gunna get angry n wont change his mind but OMG it hurts so much without him and im so scared of him getting with someone else - i still get that 'feeling' in my tummy when i see him.

Anyway i just wanted to kinda rant - sorry

 

[Urchin]

Aww Tori you're not boring us!

Why should you change to suit him? You can't pretend to be someone you're not, and even if you could, you can't live you life like that hun.

Instead of talking to him why don't you write him a nice long letter that you can take you time over the wording and he can read it in his own time. That way it can't end up being a row.

 

[Tori]

i did think bout that but im not very good at writing it down, kinda all comes out wrong

 

[Urchin]

i did think bout that but im not very good at writing it down, kinda all comes out wrong

It comes out alright for us, maybe type it out into WORD and read it back a few times to yourself.
Good luck with whatever you do hun.

 

[Nicola]

Your not boring us at all. I'm with Urchin...don't change yourself for him or anyone. Be yourself it's the best policy and you will be happier than pretending for the rest of your life type thing. I think a letter is good, type it, read and re-read it, eventually it will sound perfect and you can explain EVERYTHING properly without being interupted, disturbed, side-tracked in an argument or similar. Good luck with it all, it can't be easy.

 

[happy-chick]

 

[Robyn_]

i agree, you shouldnt have to change for anyone,
thats one thing my mum always told me.
never change for a man
they are not worth it
i knw its easy for me to say but its true.

 

[trixipaws]

awww i'm sorry i know how u feel

 

[Tori]

thank you

 

[Urchin]

Tori what are your frineds and family saying? Are you getting the support you need?

We're all here for you hun, you're going through a really bad time I just wanted to give you a

 

[SarahH]

oh, I'm so sorry to hear you are having a rough time hun... I must have missed past posts - sorry!

I'm with everyone else hun... dont change for nobody. Plus the writing a letter is a good idea... I've done that in the past as I never get out what I want to say and end up bottling it all up whereas a letter helps bring everything out.

Anytime you want a chat just PM me.

Big in the mean time
xx

 

[Tori]

i try and hide everything from my firends n famliy i dont want them to know that im not coping v well, i hide behind leah if that makes sense??

 

[SarahH]

i try and hide everything from my firends n famliy i dont want them to know that im not coping v well, i hide behind leah if that makes sense??

I've been there... I was an expert at putting on a fake smile for years until I went to councilling. I'd go to work or be out with friends and family all happy and being the one telling the jokes and then come home and cry myself to sleep.

It's good that you are seeking help and I'm sure I say this for everyone on here that we are ALL here anytime you need a chat of a hug!

 

[Tori]

yea thats how i am, when leahs nappin or sumthing i just go to bits

 

[Urchin]

Please talk to your friends about this, you sound really down and that's what friends are for. Why are you hiding it from them? Tell them how you feel and they will help you.
I wish I lived closer to you I'd invite myself round for a cuppa.

 

[Tori]

aww thanks hun, no one knows that iv got PND - iv hidden it for months, i should be an actress

I just try n get on with it and put a brave face on, pretend nothings happening and that im fine with life. Now rob has gone, my whole life has fallen apart and im not really coping but again am putting on a front for Leah. I dont want people to think i cant cope with leah, cos shes my whole world and i love her to bits.

 

[SarahH]

I havent had PND so I cant help there, but I did have depression after my mum passed away, so I kinda know what you are going through. Keep seeing your counciller and even your HV will help. Nobody will judge you... promise!

 

[jools221181]

I'm so sorry I can't do anything to help. I really wish I could but just want to send you some

 

[mum2A&L]

aww thanks hun, no one knows that iv got PND - iv hidden it for months,

im the same, only you girls and adam knew... ive only just told my mum. but i act like its all fine.

Im sorry for everything that is going on at the moment. we are allways here with hugs and kind words hun!

 

[Tori]

know i keep saying it but thank you so much everyone x x x