Getting myself all worked up and upset

[spacehopper]

Hiya guys, i was wondering if you could give me some advise.

Today is 1 year since my baby boy Morgan (horse) was put to sleep and i have just had a huge cry. Now as im crying i am feeling sick and getting tummy cramps and back ache. I have had a lot of discharge (TMI sorry) over the past 2 days but its white and doesnt smell.

Do you think its just because i have got my self worked up over the day or do you think it could be more? God im always moaning about silly things. Sorry guys.

xx

 

[hennaly]

Awe i really feel for you, i cried for a long time after the death of the they first pony i had pts.
Easier said than done i know but try to relax and keep your mind busy on the baby coming etc.
I hope all goes well for you

 

[aramintalovegrove]

Its not silly sounds like he was important to you, embrace the day as your prob not going to cheer up that easily, take it easy and do what you can to make it less traumatic for you. Im sure the tummy tightenings are more to do with your emotional state but if in doubt call the MW.
And have some of these

 

[spacehopper]

Thanks girls Well my dog has decided to join me in bed lol bless her snuggling up to me. Can always count on her cheer me up.

I was having a great day at first and then silly me looked at his picture and his ashes (yes i had him cremated as i didnt want him going for meat) and i just burst out crying.

xx

 

[Little Bump]

Oh hun, Morgan was so important to you, maybe do something for him today? We lit a candle for Sammy and it did make me feel better just acknowledging the date.

As hard as it is you need to try and stay calm for the baby. However stressing that your stressing is casuing more problems will only make you more stressed and upset, if you get me.

I get tummy tightenings when I get worked up, so it's probably nothing, but second ringing the MW if you're at all concerned.

Re; the discharge I had to switch to pads practically constantly a few weeks ago as my discharge increased, which the MW said was normal in Tri 3.

Hugs hun xx

 

[spacehopper]

Its great to have you on here Sam because you knew him in a way.

Thankyou your all so bloody nice lol im so glad i joined this forum.

Im going to sit here and smile at his pictures lol sad i know but it helps.

xx

 

[Little Bump]

Yes, I feel as though I knew him too, and he was a very lovely boy. I often sit and talk to sammy (she's out in the paddock) and I call good morning to her every morning when I go out and good night to her when I come in at night. It's whatever makes YOU feel better.

I still think about her every day, but most days I smile at the memories. I'll sit and look at pics and have a cry, but it's not sadness, if you know what I mean. The first anniversairy I felt was the worst, but then I found I was working myself up weeks in advance and wondering how on earth I would cope.

I miss her, a lot. Simple as, and it's very easy to dwell on the fact she was so young, and it was so unfair, but now I find myself thinking how lucky I was to have owned her in the first place. I know that everything humanely possible was done, just the same as you and Morgan, but sometimes the only real humane thing we can do is to let go. You let Morgan leave with a sense of security, a full tummy, a warm bed, feeling loved and above all with his dignity, so many don't get that chance. You did a huge thing, you put your own feelings aside and did what was best for him, even though it hurt you so much. It near killed me having Sammy PTS, but believe it or not I'm happy with my decision now. I would have liked there to have been other options, but there wasn't, and I know that I did the best thing for her, as you did for Morgy.