Getting crap from absent dad!!!!

[kayzee]

Hi ladies, As you all know i just found out bout my little girly and am over the moon but last night totally out the blue my ex bf text and asked how i was, bearing in mind he said he wants nothing to do with either of us and told me to eff off back in march and no contact since. I text if your at all bothered it is a little girl and nothing else to which he replied, i will fight you through every court to see my daughter!!! I thought as he is absent and wont be here to have his name on the birth certificate that he wont have any parental rights? and that i think he gave up his parental rights in the beginning when he ordered me to have an abortion? Im not gonna let the tosser drag me down and am trying to ignore his idle threats but it does make me wonder if there is anything he can do? Think i may ring my solicitor this morning and find out but was wondering if any of you lovely ladies could shed any light on the matter? Anything would be much appreciated, many thanks xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Melly+2]

i really dont know but i hope it all works out for you hun big huggies

 

[Vicki83]

What a wa**er! How can he have the balls to threaten you with court action after telling you to get an abortion, i don't tihnk he'll have a leg to stand on, well he bloody well shouldn't.

 

[Melanie]

Well he sounds like an arse of the first degree!

I think you should get some legal advice hun to be on the safe side.

 

[Tina & Gabs]

I agree with Mel hun; get some legal advice.

Sending you

 

[skatty]

What a t*sser! I'm not sure either but you could post this on the relationships thread as I am sure there will be people that have had similar happen!

Don't let him ruin your elation about your little girl

 

[kayzee]

He not gonna spoil anything as long as ive a hole up my arse sorry bout that, i rung solicitor and he said its too complicated to sort out over the phone so i have to go see him at 4 this afternoon, sorry if i posted in the wrong place must of been a hormonal moment this morning xx

 

[skatty]

Oh I'm glad you will see him soon and can get a plan of action together! I'm not sure if I'm right but if yo0u don't have his name on the birth certificate he doesn't have any rights does he?

 

[violet-glow]

Hiya hun sorry your ex is being such a dick right now...

You need to write down EVERYTHING that has been said in the past, provide proof (if you have any) including nasty text messages etc.
Statements from friend/family that witnessed his attitude towards you after he told you that you are pregnant. (Juts get them to wrote down what was said etc)

Dont let him get his name on the BC - because then he will have as many rights as yourself. But if he isnt on the BC, he can still insist in a DNA test which will then give him rights when it proves he is the father.

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Best action to take if you do not wish to have him in your life is to brake contact with him altogether. Tell him he isnt the father and when it comes to the CSA tell them that you dont want the father contacted because he became very abusive towards you. They will have to honor this and wont contact him. Dont put him down as the father on anything, this includes notes from the maternity notes from the hospital, any tiny bit of evidence that has his name on it will be dragged up at a later date and look bad on you for not letting him have contact.

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If all that fails kick him in the balls and run off lmao.
Chin up girl, he sounds like a complete tosser who has suddenly got a guilty conscience and who is totaly worthless .

My sons father did the same to me when I told him I was pregnant. I ordered me to have an abortion and said if I didnt have an abortion the best thing to do would be to kill myself I havent heard from him since. Not that I ever want someone like that in my life or my sons.

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You can do soooo much better than that idiot xx

 

[Tina & Gabs]

Good luck at the solicitors

 

[kayzee]

I dont have much in the way of evidence apart from maybe a chat log on msn and the texts i have received out the blue over the past few days. My ex husband who has been helping me tuns is really pissed off over this and being very supportive, I did sort of know about the bc thing violet and have no intention of him knowing when that will be so he cant insist on being there just to stir up trouble, I dont think he will pursue the dna path either as he cant even afford to pay me the 60 quid he owes me and has sent texts in the past which were witnessed, saying that he didnt want anything to do with me or the baby, its my choice so i have to live with it!! what an arse :evil . I have to go now cos my appointment in 20 mins but will let you know how i get on when i get back, thankyou ladies, take care, kaye.xx

 

[Vicki83]

Good luck hun xxxx

 

[kayzee]

HIya im back! Didnt take too long but at least i know where i stand now. There is no way his name going on the bc if he not there and if he then wants to pursue parental rights via dna testing and court he will have to pay and it will all be done here, as he lives over 250 miles away i cant honestly see him bothering. He cant just turn up and demand to see her unless he has contacted me first and it has all been arranged, he cant tell me when he wants to see her he has to ask. At the end of it all as he is her biological father he does have rights but he will have to pursue them which i cant see him bothering with as he cant even be arsed to phone! i feel better now ive seen solicitor but would of felt better if i knew there was nothing the arsehole could do, its kind of a waiting game to see if he contacts me anymore and i dont have to tell him when she's born either im under no obligation to tell her anything but i will keep pictures and stuff to show her when she's older she will deserve that much xxxxx

 

[skatty]

I'm glad you have got some answers, lets hope he stays away from your little family

 

[kayzee]

thanks skatty so do i, im not going to contact him just wait and see what he does xxx

 

[Vicki83]

Well that'll be a load of your mind for sure! Here's hoping he just keeps as far away as possible!

 

[violet-glow]

Thats great news hun! been thinking about your situation all day. I hope I didnt sound out of line at all. Just men like your ex pee me off.

Ive just noticed your ticker, looks like were due around the same time

 

[budge]

kayzee this is my advice

take a long stick such as a rolling pin and shove it right up his back passage and enjoy his squeals for mercy.

The rough end of a pineapple will do if a stick is not at hand.