For all those bottle feeders out there (mini rant alert!)

[xxClaire_24xx]

Hey,
I didn't watch it last nite, but am gonna watch it today! I have bottle fed all the way through,i didn't want to breast feed, the thought of it makes me rather woozy!! But lo was born seven wks early, and in special care (tube feed etc), so i prob would have had a difficult time breast feeding even if i wanted to!! xxxx

same here Ellie was in for 7 weeks and I must admit I tried to put her to the breast as all the neonatal midwifes drummed it in that it was best but when I put her to the breast she just screamed the place down and then I got so upset too so I expressed for the 7 weeks and another 3 when we got home but I was so weak all the time and the DR actually told me to formula feed as I was to unwell and losing weight so quick xx

 

[xxClaire_24xx]

I bf for the first 4 months then found out LO is Lactose intolerant cut out all dairy from my diet But struggled so switche to Lactose free formula the amount of people who judged me and said Im selfish for stopping was unbelievable! LO is now thriving on formula x

thats shocking your baby needed to go to the lactose free formula xx

 

[lesleyann23]

I just watched that program and all it did was make me feel more guilt (wish I hadn't now) My LO is 4 weeks old now I BF for the first 3 weeks, I was lucky it didn't hurt, he latched on fine but was falling asleep while feeding so not getting enough in one sitting so I was feeding hourly night and day sometimes more often. I was exhausted and couldn't stop crying my midwife signed me off at 2 weeks and my HV is due to come first time tomorrow so didnt feel I could talk to her so I made the decision to buy some formula so I could get some sleep. I felt so selfish but now one week later im expressing and formula feeding I still feel guilty but I feel better than I did a week ago when I was just BF. I feel so much closer to him now as before I felt so much pressure, I cried when he woke up knowing he would just want food I didnt want to sleep knowing I would just get woke up in an hour and seemed easier to stay awake. I was getting depressed. I love my little boy so much but he now has a much happier mummy and still gets the benifits of breast milk most feeds and I feel so much closer to him now.
he is also a very hungry baby he is drinking 5OZ of breast milk every 2 hours sometimes more.

Sorry about the long post think im still trying to justify quitting to myself especially as it was so "easy" for me.
Im dreading seeing HV tomorrow knowing she will lecture me.
I still feel bad even tho I know I did the best thing for us.

 

[midnight]

all mine have been bottle fed and i was going ot try to breast feed this 1 but after much discussion we have decided to bottle feed this 1 too

 

[LilyMac]

I hate people that judge. HATE them.
I chose not to breastfeed for selfish reasons the thought freaked me out as well! I didn't want to try I'm case he didn't latch on and I became depressed because of it, I've seen it happen so many times, mothers blame themselves because it doesn't happen and then they become unhappy and sometimes lose part of the bond with their baby because they feel they aren't good enough. I really didn't want that to happen with me so I chose to bottle feed and my baby is perfectly healthy and happy so I don't see anything wrong with it. Formula is made for a reason and that reason is to give your baby everything it needs so where is the problem?!
The thing that really annoyed me was when I was stuck in hospital a cleaner was watching me bottle feed A and then came over and lectured me for not breast feeding, I asked her how many of her kids she breastfed and she said she hadn't got any so I told her to mind her own effing business, she's got no experience and no medical expertise so she ha no right to tell me what I should be doing with my child!!! I could've quite happily punched her in her cheeky mouth and I probably would've if I could've gotten out of bed!

People get me mad, to all those planning on bottle feeding or to those who have no choice, don't listen to anyone's opinions it's your baby you do what you want, at the end of the day all that matters is your baby is fed healthy and happy, opinions don't matter.

 

[xxClaire_24xx]

I agree Lilymac its up to the individual parents I think and like you say some people cant BF I did express but then my milk just ran out, literally!! they say it might be because I has a section and early baby and that my body wasnt ready to make milk or that the stress of a special care baby was too much for my body. who knows but I am formula feeding xx

 

[riotfox]

I have loved reading this thread. I had known from the start I wanted to bottle feed. I have nothing against anybody who breastfeeds, I just decided bottle feeding would be best for me and the OH. People ask whether I am going to bottle or breast feed and when I say bottle feed they always say the same thing, 'Aren't you even going to try and breast feed?' xx

 

[megsmeadow]

You know what I think is important, that our babies are fed!! And when babies are fed they grow and flourish into happy little beings. When that happens we are happy mummies. In my birth announcement post I said I felt like I was breaking all the 'rules' and do you know, if there were rules there'd be a baby manual!! To my knowledge there isn't (unless I'm not in on the biggest secret there is!), and merely guidelines exist. Guidelines are all about statistics and numbers not about individuals and both me and my baby are individuals and we'll live life in our own way. People are idiots and should really give more consideration before opening their mouths to mothers who are obviously very vulnerable in many ways.
I think I might have gone off on a tangent but I'll do what's best by me and my baby!

 

[sexyamy2005]

Ive just watched the programme and feel racked with guilt again,
I got bhronchitis at 30 weeks and was on steriods n antibiotics for it untul my LO was born at 41+1. no 1 at the time of prescribing me things said it may affect my milk supply, but oh my god it did, i was adament i would bfeed mainly for the selfish reason of its free, but we did buy bottles & some formula just incase, and i am so glad, i managed 5 days of bfeeding with only a tiny amount of colostrum, she was screamin the house down by the 3rd day cos she couldnt latch on & i hadnt got any milk supply in, i gave her a bottle n she downed 5oz at 5days old!!

Shes such a happy content thriving baby now & weve got such a close bond its unreal,
Doesnt help with the guilt that i wish i could of bfed her, but next time i will try again, i dont think any1 should judge any1 for why they make the choice they do, but society does and allthough i still feel guilty n programmes like that bring it home to me again, at least my baby is fed surly thats the most important thing that shes thriving happy & healthy n not starvin n im crazy with a lack of sleep n bad boobs?

X

 

[Roo3]

I've just finished watching that programme. I feel completely pressurised y all my family including OH to BF when I really don't feel comfortable at the thought of doing it. Whilst watching the programme I said to OH this is putting me off more and he said well you're going to have to BF anyway so stop watching if its freaking you out. I said I don't have to do anything. He said you have to BF for at least the first few days.
His mum is always saying, just do it for a month. My Dad is saying breast is best. But I just can't imagine sitting there with my baby latched onto my boob!
I think I probably will do it for the first few days just to shut every one up then move onto bottles, but I know I won't feel comfortable doing it, and especially not when we have visitors. I'll end up having to go upstairs to do it in private.

 

[Annie050408]

This infuriates me -you are right, you don't HAVE to do anything and I never got a drop of milk from my mother, nor did my siblings and we are all perfectly fine.

I think it is fine to put the information out there but for people to tell you you HAVE to do it is a joke! I'd never listen to a man re this (as much as I love my DH) as they don't have boobs, they don't give birth and they can voice a preference for their child, sure, but shouldn't make their OH do anything!

 

[Roo3]

This infuriates me -you are right, you don't HAVE to do anything and I never got a drop of milk from my mother, nor did my siblings and we are all perfectly fine.

I think it is fine to put the information out there but for people to tell you you HAVE to do it is a joke! I'd never listen to a man re this (as much as I love my DH) as they don't have boobs, they don't give birth and they can voice a preference for their child, sure, but shouldn't make their OH do anything!

Exactly... I keep saying to OH surely what is best for me is best for the baby and if I am stressed out because I am being forced in to BFing then the baby will suffer. He then tells me I'm being selfish. He also doesn't look at the bigger picture that if I BF then he can't help me do the night feeds so I'll be a complete zombie and I am completely rubbish when I am over tired. (Of course I realise I'm not going to get much sleep bottle feeding but at least I can get help from OH). Its really wound me up this afternoon and I'm sitting here trying not to cry. He's being so completely insensitive.

 

[lesleyann23]

just had to add to my earlier comment I saw my hv today who was very supportive of me combining expressing and formula, she said that its no good having an exhausted unhappy mum and that I should be proud of myself. I must admit i was expecting a lecture and was prepared to kick her out but she was great. Its a shame all hv's are not the same.

 

[PinkPunch]

Roo, don't put pressure on yourself. Tell your oh that it's your descision and that's final. Let him call you selfish but it won't change the fact that your in control. You don't really need to make your descision yet anyway try it and see how it goes.

 

[midnight]

roo if you feel that cant do it then do feel pressured and if you do decide to do it for a few days to please them!! then tell them no visitors until you feel confident

 

[PinkPunch]

I wouldn't bf in front of visitors either, just close family like my mum etc.

 

[Roo3]

roo if you feel that cant do it then do feel pressured and if you do decide to do it for a few days to please them!! then tell them no visitors until you feel confident

I had fit last night at OH and told him how I felt about the whole thing. To start with he blamed the programme saying I shouldn't have watched it until I told him that it was nothing to do with that but I was sick of being pressurised by him, his family and my family. He's spoken to his Mum and told her to stop talking about it to me, and has promised to support whatever decision I make. I have told him that if I decide to BF for a few days, then he has to make sure whatever visitors leave the hospital room whilst I'm doing it or leave me alone whilst I'm BFing at home. Feel much happier about making the decision now. As long as I'm happy with whatever I decide- everyone else can get lost if they don't like it!!!

 

[Squeakz]

I got so guilt tripped whilst bfing and considering stopping. Like you annie i wasnt comfortable about the idea of doing it in the first place, but i decided to give it a good go. I did and had a terrible time. It took forever for my milk to come through which consequently meant J wasnt getting enough milk. When i called my MW and explained this and said i was thinking of trying formula she asked me what i expected of babies 'babies are always hungry, dont stop'. when in fact he was stuck to my booby for about 16 hours a day amd not satisfied. When i discussed with my MW again (literally inthe first few times she visited us) that we had given him milk she 'kindly' reminded me that 'breast is best for not just you but ffor your baby and if you formula feed you will have an obese child'. To which i nearly HIT THE ROOF! however in a state of just having had my little one hormones and emotions all over the place it actually guilted me in to continuing despite my unhapiness.

I would spend the moemnts before his feed when i knew i would have to do it crying, my HV harped on about it! Eventually my mum had to turn around to me and say 'sopshie, what about the people who cannot bf for one reason or another!? Do you think they have unhealthy, obese children just for the fact they ff??' NO!

Sorry this is my rant! and i know this is now my own irritability, but when people tell me best is breast, it makes me sometimes feel like a failure all over again!

 

[Squeakz]

and the most irritating thing was i went for lunch with my parents when he was about 3 weeks old, and some nosy old cow came over - never met her before or anything - had a look at J and said 'so you are bfeeding arent you?' x