First midwife appointment

[rachaellouise]

I feel down!

So much to now think about and not really sure where to start.
We had decided on a hospital or birthing centre but have been told it is unlikely to be a birthing centre due to my mental health and the hospital we thought we would like - though have not seen yet , the midwife did not rate very highly and said that if we were to got here then there is no point continuing the appointment today as I would need to be referred to the other hospital etc. We have decided to go with the hosptial closest to us but I am worried as that is where the horrible OBGYN I saw is based and I may have to see her again!
I may not be able to have the water birth which I really really want to have, I have a phobia of hospitals and that was my 1 bargianship for going to a hospital as I feel it is less clinical that being on a hospital bed, she has said that there is only one birthing pool which is on a first come first serve basis.
We were planning on purchasing our own birthing pool so we would definatly have one to use but aparrently there is no where to fill up/empty the bath at the hospital so that would not work.
I am just feeling really pooped

 

[Mimimouse89]

Aww you're not having much luck! But I'm sure it'll all work out fine and you're luck will change. Had you considered a home birth? That way you don't have to be at a hospital near anyone who makes you uncomfortable, you can have a midwife that you like come to you, you could buy a birthing pool to ease pain aswell as using gas and air, and when the baby's arrived you can sit on your own sofa with a cuppa and feel relaxed surrounded by family or whoever you want there! It may be something you're just not able to do but I just thought as you don't like hospitals it may be an idea to think about! I dunno!

 

[rachaellouise]

I like the idea of a home birth but hubby is not keen on the idea from a safety point of view.
Plus to be honest I dont think our house bunnies would cope!!

 

[almeria]

i'm sorry to hear that you had such a negative appointment...
however, there is still plenty of time to think things over, maybe if you keep insisting on what you want, the midwife will be more amenable. Sometimes I think they just try to make things as easy for themselves as posible and hope we will all just go along with them because they are the 'professionals'.
Maybe you should go and check out the other hospital for yourself before being put off.....
good luck anyway, i live in spain, and choices are quite restricted here, not sure what i am going to do, but i would love a home birth, but would need to hire a private midwife which i can't afford...
i know my local hospital is very good though which eases my concerns.

 

[cosmicgirl]

Have you seen your local maternity units labour ward? Some hospitals have rooms that look quite homely, that might help your phobia xxxx

 

[paiges_mum]

sorry ur having such a hard time,dont have much advice but didnt want to read and run, ill cross my fingers for you

 

[lauralala]

oh hun thats pants, ask if you can have another midwife, you need someone who will work with your ideas and wishes not against them, she doesnt sound very professional to me

 

[Mimimouse89]

I like the idea of a home birth but hubby is not keen on the idea from a safety point of view.
Plus to be honest I dont think our house bunnies would cope!!

Hehe, aww bless, yeah not sure if my bunny would be too impressed if I was giving birth in her house, she likes to be centre of attention

I understand how your hubby feels, it does feel alot safer in a hospital surrounded by all the equipment you could need.. (plus to be honest I don't know if I'd want to be far away from the epidural That's my one word birth plan!! )

Well maybe just sleep on it and check out the hospital yourself like almeria says and it might be a really nice one, I'm sure they'll look after you if they know you don't like hospitals.

Good luck anyway!

 

[katiejane]

When I was pregnant last time I was so scared the whole way through, and the MW on the first appointment kept going on about home births, but i was really against it. I couldn't imagine getting that far anyway because I was only a few weeks at the time and had suffered 4 MC's before that. I wanted the safety of the hospital, medical staff, drugs, reassurance etc. Anyway very long story short when it came to it I was without my waters for 36 hours, shoved in a side room and left to it and delivery was shut, so was just on general maternity ward. They wouldn't examine me to see how far dilated I was, no pain killers, no gas and air. I was finally checked when I was saying I needed to push and I very quickly went from 8cm to 10cm, then was moved to delivery and given gas and air.

Ooops sorry gone on a bit, sorry my point is for me I would have been better at home and probably safer, because there would have been a professional with me, plus i'd have access to pain killers, home comforts etc. So this time i'm all for a home birth and hate the prospect of having to go to the hospital. Thats just from my experience, of course everyones different, but my preferences are so different to last time its unreal. I hope you make a decision you're comfortable, don't choose somewhere that you don't want to give birth if you can help it, its your body and your baby xx

 

[Tracey M]

I think its so important to have your baby where you feel comfortable. I had a 36 hour labour last time and the hospital were great. I was in a side room with my DH for the early labour and give pain relief at 11pm. At 4am I was moved to delivery suite (4cm dilated) where I got more pain relief and when that ran out, gas and air. At 8am I was in so much pain (8cm dilated) I got epidural which was my saviour.....I did not give birth till 4pm - 8 hours later!! They literally told me baby was back to back, in destress, I had an infection and last 2cm would not dilate so I was going for emergency section - 5 mins later I just dilated and started pushing - that was by far the easiest bit!! (well no pain from epidural).

My nearest hospital is 20 miles away so half hour drive. I read in my notes that they dont do epidural there....I'm beginning to panic cos the next nearest hospital is 60 miles away so I now need to decide what to do - After last time I know I have to have epidural to hand. Knowing me, this time round the baby would probably pop out an hour into labour.....

I say if you have a hospital close to you (for emergency only) then go for the home birth! Its not for me but if you have problems with hospitals then I'm sure this will be better for you.

I live in a small town and there is a team of 3 midwives who are all lovely. They can even come to your home to do all your checks, bloods etc if you want rather than go to hospital. She even phoned me at 8pm on Friday night to make sure I was ok for appointment tomorrow! Amazing! There are good midwifes out there so if you live in a city then do shop around!!

Good luck honey x

 

[rachaellouise]

The midwife did mention that the hospital have home away from home rooms which sound a lot nicer than the 'normal' rooms of a hospital, so I just want to know how I would go about being booked in to one of those.
I have told my hubby that I am not going on a ward! That if we have to pay for a private room that is what we are doing! I need to feel calm and it is bad enough I will be in a hospital so I need help where ever I can get it!