First few weeks- what to expect?

[Kimi89]

Hi,

I had my first baby last Sunday and I'm at that stage where my hormones are making me feel really positive one minute and super anxious the next. My little man sleeps fine during the day but not so well at night. He has a Moses basket which we uses fine at the day but gets all grisly in at night. I'm breast feeding and it seems the only way I can settle him at night is to offer him a feed then put him back in the basket when he drifts off but he will start to stir, fidget and eventually cry. Labour was not a great experience which I'm still getting my head round.
What can I do to get baby to sleep well at night like he does during the day? When will he start picking up a routine?

 

[snowbee]

My little boy didn't sleep at night (or in the day for that matter!) for the first couple of weeks. He fed all the time, my milk took a while to arrive. We decided to co sleep in the end as I found it much easier to feed him in the night this way and could actually get some sleep and not have to get up in the night. He is only just starting to show a bit of routine now he is 16 weeks. I've found it easiest not to compare to other people, lots of friends who have babies the same age and they have all been so different in what they have done and when.

 

[candymycandy]

This sounds par for the course I'm afraid to say! Sleeping at night will only come with time as they don't yet know the difference between night/day. My lb started with more of a routine around 9wks but as snowbee says they're all different. It's a really rough ride to start with, and obviously we have the birth/aftermath trauma to deal with too, but I promise it gets easier! He's still really really young xx

 

[Kimi89]

Thanks ladies. I guess I'm looking for reassurance that everything is normal and I'm not doing something wrong. I get lonely at night when my OH is asleep and baby won't settle.

 

[candymycandy]

Thanks ladies. I guess I'm looking for reassurance that everything is normal and I'm not doing something wrong. I get lonely at night when my OH is asleep and baby won't settle.

Yeah that's hard, you feel like you're alone don't you. If baby is fed could you wake him up to give you a break? xx

 

[Kimi89]

He will take up and take him if he cries but when he's just not settling down I try to do it myself

 

[snowbee]

We did shifts to start with, it was the only way I got any sleep. I fed and then I went to bed leaving my oh with him downstairs, then he brought him up and woke me for his next feed. I then had him while my oh slept, then I woke my oh to have him for 2 hours before work for me to sleep again. It was tiring but we didn't have to do it for too long then he started ti sleep at night. Defo get help and do shifts otherwise you will go insane!

 

[candymycandy]

Yeah as snowbee says do shifts where possible. I know it's tricky with breastfeeding but if he's on pat leave and baby is fed then even little power naps for you in between feeds are better than nothing. That being said if your Way is working best for you then stick with it. After the very early newborn stage and when I started combi feeding/expressing, dh would take first shift downstairs with him and then we'd swap at about 4am (this was while he was off for a month with pat leave).

 

[Kimi89]

My OH goes back to work on Tuesday so shift work isn't an option although sounds good! He does a lot of long driving for work so need to get little man sleeping better at night ASAP.

 

[snowbee]

My oh didn't have any time off work, bar the day I actually gave birth. We just did it so he looked after him in the evening so I could sleep then and then he got up early for work and gave me two hours sleep then. Yes he will lose a bit of sleep but he should be able to cope with it to help you out. My husband works really long hours too and it was only a couple of weeks we struggled with the sleep shifts before little one figured out what night and sleep was, so hopefully it won't be long for you either.

Also if you don't have one already try the dream sheep, we play it every bedtime and it is super useful.

 

[YorksLass]

Congrats on your baby!
It's normal at this early stage for them to be all over the place with sleep, particularly at night. I remember we used to play pink noise to our daughter to settle her and help her stay settled. Bit like white noise but covers more frequencies. You can find some on youtube.
The hardest thing is not knowing what lies ahead and being unable to see the light at ends of various tunnels, but do know that things do get better and things will fall into place eventually

 

[kumber]

I think if you're finding baby is grizzly at night and hubby does driving for work, you're probably best looking at sleeping separately from your hubby. It can take months to get baby into a good night routine as some just need to feed and feed - if you're bfing, the night feeds are what stimulate your milk production for the following 24 hours.

As the other ladies have said, it gets easier, some just take a wee bit longer than others. Keep your chin up chicken

 

[Kimi89]

Thank you �� Struggling with first time mum anxieties I think. I'll speak to my midwife tomorrow. I really appreciate everyone's comments and advice. My main worry is being mentally well for baby so I can be the best mum I can be.

 

[snowbee]

You are doing great, enjoy this time as much as you can as they really do grow up and change so fast. Just sitting around holding them and enjoying looking at them is the best.

 

[Kimi89]

Any tips on managing anxiety?

 

[KHTW]

Hi, congrats on you baby

Lack of sleep is something every mum of a newborn baby experiences. Unfortunately there is very little you can do but to make sure you grab every moment possible to get some rest, as they say ' when baby sleeps, you sleep'. The good thing is that this is your first baby and there is nobody else you have to tend to. So try to relax and wait it out. Would you consider co-sleeping with the baby? It would make it a bit easier for you at night, I found it easier.

About managing anxiety, the only think I can think of again is to try and relax and get as much rest as possible. And please do not overthink things, try to focus on today, take one step at the time. I hope you can find comfort in knowing that it will get better x

 

[Kimi89]

We co-slept the first few nights, I just worry about it being safe. I'm going to try and borrow a Chicco Next2Me crib so hes close but safer. I just don't understand why he sleeps ok in the basket during the day but not at night.

I know things will get easier I just sometimes feel so overwhelmed by everything I don't j is what to do.

 

[Belfa]

Do you have an angel care sensor mat? That really helped my anxiety when baby was next to me. I had a co sleeper but used it as a crib instead x