Find myself back here again! :\

[x_PlaceboDanii]

Well, here i am again..And i thought id finally be out of this area, i suppose its my own fault for finding myself here once more!.

Fiance and i had an awful row yesterday!, and i found myself saying things that i didn't really mean at the time. Yesterday we had fiance's youngest niece who is 7 months old, dont get me wrong she was lovely when we had her in May, ive never known a kid be so quiet and lovely to hold, and steal the odd snuggle but yesterday i looked at her and thought, god have mercy on me!.

All she did was scripe and cry no matter how hard i tried to make her stop and she stops when fiance came back from the shop!, and i got so annoyed..(Im not really used to kids to be honest) and when fiance said she didn't like me i found myself saying the feelings mutual!, i dont know if he was joking or not and he was like, well thats not nice!, well he said it!. And now he understands why i stay out of the way whenever the kids come and visit, dont get me wrong im okay with the older kids, their easy work compared to that young one!..I found myself relieved when they came back to fetch her, i just felt on such a low yesterday and i got accused of being in a mood all day because i went for a walk to get out of the house, i mean when has that been moody?..Ive had 2 chemical pregnancies.

So, i found myself having a row with OH about not having any kids until im older and i can cope a bit more, he's so broody i cant get my head around it. He's 25 and im 22 incase anyones wondering.

And all the pressure ive got and i go back to college next week so, i dont know if its just me being really horrible inside because im not over my Chem's yet or i generally do hate kids..I just cant understand myself!.

Thanks for listening, i just needed some ears to get that out..So yes, hello again everyone

 

[dyscochick]

Hi Danii, kids have off days and moments for no good reason. Try not to take it personally, I know its hard! Give yourself time and a break, being back at college is not a great time to start cos of all the stress so why don't you just have break until you are into term a little bit. Hope sort things out with OH, xx

 

[x_PlaceboDanii]

Thanks Dyscochick!, I know its hard not to take it personally, but you feel so useless when you cant do anything x

 

[stargirl]

Hi Danii, don't be too hard on yourself hun, looking after kids isn't easy and if you're having a rough time then you arn't going to have much patience.

Maybe what you need to do is take a few months to get you head and thoughts together and then sit down and talk to your OH. If you don't feel ready yet then don't be forced into something that you may regret later on.

 

[xxbeckyxx]

Remember as well that when it's your baby you will know him/her inside out, you will know what he/she needs before they even get to the crying point and if it gets to the stage where you need to leave them to 'cry it out' etc then you will be able to make that decision as you will be mummy.
I'm still not entirely comfortable with other people's babies but my own is easy

 

[x_PlaceboDanii]

Thanks everyone .

I guess being here is for the best at the minute with college and everything