feeling useless without work

[Flosi]

This may sound really sillly, but is anyone else feeling the same?

I am loving new role of mummy, and know that it is seen as a full time job to some.

However, working within insurance and with horses both came with a lot of responsibility and a sense of being needed I guess on a daily basis and never seemed to finish one day before the next. And I feel like I am missing this, like o am blending into the background and no longer needed or wanted.

I know I'm being silly really

 

[MrsS143]

How old is your LO? X

 

[Baby2sky]

Hi hun i definitely felt this way. I actually didn't need to work and had been planning on being a sahm, but I went back when my daughter was two as I needed another outlet. Definitely a normal feeling xxx

 

[Flosi]

My LO is only 7weeks. But due to the demands of my Job I went on mat leave quite early. All I have ever wanted when I started my family was to be a sahm. But there is just a little bit that os missing and all I can put it down to is not having work. Maybe it is because I have worked since I was 16 and have always paid my own way, as I hate asking my OH for money, even when its for household shop etc.

I know i sound awful, maybe just because it is such a sudden change, and tbh I went through all of my pregnancy saying oh not much will change.

 

[CDx]

Like you I've always worked and I am fiercely independent, the thought of relying on my OH for money when my mat pay stops is something I'm already struggling with.

My LO is 13 weeks and at times I miss work - I hate feeling out of the loop and not knowing what's happening and I'm also missing the social aspect and office banter. But at the same time there is no place in the world I would rather be than at home with my son. My OH works away a lot and it's made me appreciate the chance to see him change every day because I know it kills my OH being away from us to the point he's even considering a complete career change.

Becoming a mum has changed so much more than I ever thought it would, at first I struggled and felt like I was losing me if that makes sense - now I've realised I've just adapted to my new role and it's the most rewarding one yet but it's still important to make time for just you and your OH or to leave your LO with him while you catch up with the girls for an hour or 2 every now and again.

 

[Elliott]

I'm missing work a lot. Thinking as much as enjoying new role in still kind of mourning the loss of previous life though and think it'll take time to figure out for mysf what's going to work in terms of balancing work and little one.

It's a massive change.

 

[Mummybexee]

i missed work, and it got worse as time went on! i had 6 months off and will have 6 months off this time. I enjoy my career, have been slammed by some for not staying at home longer. Affordibility was one but im the main earner.

I dont want to be a ''''stay at home mummy ''''

when i returned to work, it was hard juggling both but ebign at work all day is a damn sight easier than being at home with a baby or now a toddler.

So this time around with a toddler at home and a new born im not so sure how i will cope lol

 

[TTT]

Its normal and it may change or you may benefit from going back a day a week or something. I started my own business 3 years ago and employed my husband and trained him up two years ago. He now runs our business and our employee who has replaced me. I sometimes feel like I miss being in control and when I do I go in for a few hours and swap roles with oh and he takes our lo for a bit, and I go home feeling satisfied and happy being a mum. We're quite fortunate that we can swap places whenever we feel like it once lo is fully weaned and my oh has even offered to be a stay at home dad. Why don't you talk to your oh about switching roles if that's an option to you? Hasn't the law changed in terms of paternity leave for babies born after April?

 

[Flosi]

Unfortunately not a choice to change roles with OH as je runs his own business and involves needing HGV licence and driving forklift etc.

I need to just get used to it, and work out how to do all my 'my time activities ' and daily activities with LO in tow. I'm lucky that she is so good. And praps find something I can do from home to fill the void that work has left.

 

[Toni.C]

I didn't go on mat leave but I resigned instead because when LO arrived we would be paying for me to go to work. I used to work in a busy hospital department and did a lot with horses too. My OH is a farmer so we are an outdoorsy hands on couple. I loved the time I had up to when I gave birth and I love being a sahm but I understand where you come from. I miss the banter, the challenges, being on my feet, the different kind of stress. But I'd never change what I have now for the world. I am waiting for Alfie to start play school then I'm hoping to find yard work for the hours the LO's at play school. In the mean time I'm learning to drive so I'm going to take up a hobby me and Alfie can both do to fill our time. My mum wasn't able to have much time off before going back to work with us so I want to spend as much time with Alfie as I can.

 

[littlemonkey]

I never ever missed work when I was off with my first and as soon as I got pregnant I was counting down to mat leave!

Having said that, having a baby is a huge adjustment and it really took me a long time to get used to it. I really did miss my old life, being able to have time to myself, go somewhere at the drop of a hat and have a lie in! But it gets easier as baby gets older, sleeping longer and settling into a routine. I've personally found it challenging going from one to two as well. I've found myself thinking about how much easier its was with just one child!

I'm planning on going back to work part time in the evenings, so I'll have the time with the kids and then work. And no time to myself! But needs must!