Feeling really down.

[BubbleOne]

Hi Ladies,

Had a really s$*t week or so and I'm now sitting here crying.
Phoebe has turned into a completely different baby lately.
She whinges constantly if I leave the room or dissappear from her view. And then when I come back she laughs at me. I can't even go for a wee. Sitting here with horrible greasy hair because I don't get chance to even shower anymore. Can't shower at night because we have paper thin walls so it wakes her up and don't get chance in the day.
It's now taking me hours to get her to sleep at night. She gets grouchy at about 5.30pm so we take her up to bed. Lay her down to change her etc and she is all smiles and cooing etc. Feed her, put her in her cot and normally end up rubbing her bum on and off until about 8pm. She gives herself snot through crying so then she can't breathe and sometimes makes herself sick.
She is also waking up pretty much whenever in the night now. Sometimes twice, sometimes once. Don't mind this at all but she won't settle again after her feed so I spend atleast an hour in the middle of the night getting up and down to her. OH helps but he gets soooo fed up and that upsets me too.
She is acting like a spoilt bratt baby and I don't know why?
Yes I jig her to sleep in the day (maybe I shouldn't?)
Yes I pick her up when she crys. (Maybe I shouldn't?)
But I am here all day on my own so I can't just leave her to cry. I'm not strong enough to do that. I wish I was.
She has started on solids and seems to enjoy that but it's certainly not settling her.
I feel like it's all my fault and it must be something I have done or am doing wrong.
I want the baby I know and love back

 

[Urchin]

Awwww hun you're doing great, babies go through phases of this, it's very normal.
I know it's tempting to jig them to sleep, I've just done it to Brody cos it's bloody convienent isn't it!?

One thing I have started doing though is popping him in his crib awake in the day when I can. He sleeps for longer, and it's only taken a couple of days of him crying for a little while for him to get used to the idea of getting himself to sleep. It has absolultey worked wonders!
Day one he cried for maybe 15-20 minutes, I go in every 5 mins to shush him and let him know it's ok. Day 2 it was down to 5 mins! This has also helped him settle in the middle of the night quickly.
Will she tolerate sitting in the boucy chair or door bouncer watching you while you shower? I know it's not exactly the best solution, but I have done this more than once! One day when Brody wouldn't let me do housework I put him in his bouncy chair and took him into EVERY room I went into, he even watched me clean the bathroom and seemed OK with it!

Good luck hun!

 

[BubbleOne]

She wont really sit in her bouncy chair anymore. But I know the reason she is like this is because of the way I am with her.
If she whinges I pick her up.
I dont take her out in her buggy because she cries.
We dont take her on longish car journeys because she doesn't like her car seat.
I jig her to sleep with music on because she likes it.
I completely let her control me. I fit things in around her rather than just getting on with it and making her deal with it.
I need to change. Toughen up and try and let her cry etc.

 

[Hypnorm]

(((hugs))) You are doing a great job - i know its hard at times, Ewan is getting clingy and even cried when i start to walk out of the room, but i will turn round and say to him don't worry i'll be back in a min -just going in to the kitchen, (sound like a right nutter!) so i'll go do what i ahve to and then come back and say told you i'd be back silly boy then i'll play with him.

have you got a high chair you could strap phoebe in? she might like being higher up?
don't know what to suggest about the bouncer / car seat - ewan always hated his car seat untill you got into the car and drove off then he would be asleep.
is she sat up in the buggy? or is she still laid down... try sitting her up
is she facing away from you in the buggy? have you tried one where she is sat facing you?

Just blasting ideas out - you've probably tried alreaddy!

 

[michelle82]

I leave matthew to whinge if I have to do something its a case of tough love sometimes. Things like bottles dont make themselves and you need to wee and eat! If you have things to do in the kitchen etc take her with you sometimes I move matthew from room to room but he can amuse himself more now. Its prob just a phase but I appreciate how hard it is because matthew had a couple of bad nights a week or so ago and went from waking once to three times in the night!!

 

[melhoney]

what about a baby carrier, you know, the type you attach to yourself and baby is supported on your front
this way yuo can do things and walk about and baby is with you?

I know what you mean, though, because although maheen is much younger she is already showing signs of being a fussy baby...and it's not easy to know exactly why!!!
It's difficult to find the balance between bonding with your child, showing you love and care, and not picking on every little discomfort and fuss!!!
aghhhhhhhh!

Hope it gets better
Mel xx