Feeling really alone

[Tanya4beauty]

All I feel like I do on here is moan but I feel like I don't know anyone on here anymore. Most girlies who were on pf ttc when I joined have got their bfp and I'm still waiting.
I can't lie, I'm finding it really hard. I have good and bad days and today has been really bad. I feel like I want to give up, like no one understands and I feel like I'm in limbo just waiting. I have spent this whole year so far just waiting and I'm slowly losing the will to have any enthusiasm for anything. OH has to do a sperm test so hopefully we will get some answers but whether they are the ones we want to hear I don't know.
Sorry for another negative post but it's the only place I can let out how I really feel. I'm starting to feel dead inside

 

[daniph1]

Darling girl!!! U r never alone with the ladies on here!!!! I am back and after a whole host of bad days I am finally feeling positive again! As u know I got my bfp then lost lil boots but wierdly. Right from getting my bfp I felt kinda negative about things! Strange now with what has happend! We will get there eventually and when we r holding our gorgeous lil bundle the pain and heartache we have been through will all have been so worth it! Much love to u xxxx

 

[Lander]

I'm still here....... lol

I started posting over a year ago, WTT, feels odd, some of the ladies who'd just had their LO's are now doing 1st Birthday parties...... Seems crazy!!

 

[Tanya4beauty]

Thank you hunny. I feel bad moaning especially after what you have been through. Much to you and glad you are feeling more positive. Think today has just been bad for me as my facebook friends are either pg or just announcing they are and with oct being a bumper month on here too it's just getting me down. I'm very very happy for the girls who have their bfp as they all really deserve it but I just can never imagine getting to post in the I'm pregnant section!!!
Please please hurry up bfp!!!! And for you too daniph xxxxxx

 

[daniph1]

It will happen and don't be so daft, we all have our stories and they serve to make us stronger! This will make us stronger. That I promise xxxx

 

[Tanya4beauty]

I'm still here....... lol

I started posting over a year ago, WTT, feels odd, some of the ladies who'd just had their LO's are now doing 1st Birthday parties...... Seems crazy!!

Thanks lander, was just feeling like there were lots of newbies and no one I knew anymore!!
I was wtt from about mid 2009, waiting for my oh to agree to having a baby. The wanting came as a shock to me as I always said I didn't want kids but the old biological click started and bam!!!
Finally started ttc in Jan and I suppose it's not long but it bloody well feels like it sometimes!!!
Best of luck to you too xxx

 

[Amyrose]

I'm still here chicken x

 

[kanga86]

Oh hunny so sorry ur having a rough day. I hate leaving people behind in ttc as I feel as though everyone deserves their bfp. Have u been for any tests yet? Or is it just ur oh going for tests? I hope ur results come back clear. Much love hun xx

 

[Tanya4beauty]

Thanks ladies, you're all making me feel much better!
Kanga, sorry to be negative. I'm so happy for you. I haven't had any tests myself as doc didn't think it nessecary, the only reason OH is having tests is because he has been on steroids since Xmas for his crohns and they can cause low sperm count. He is also taking an immuno suppressant drug which they don't know what affect it may have on ttc!!
I kinda feel our chances are not good.
I wish I just knew the answers it would save me so much heartache! Xxx

 

[kanga86]

Oh hun don't be hard on urself. At least with getting oh tests done u will know what ur next step is and fx ur get ur bfp soon xx

 

[Corrinne37]

Hi Tanya,
I am still here! I joined the same time as you and remember chatting to you in those early days.
But I know exactly how you are feeling and how I would feel also if I still had had nothing by now it gets so disheartening!! But I too lost mine too so it is no consolation to have it, to have hope and to have it all ripped away,along with a load of heartache, and some surgery!!
I am actually deeply questioning at the moment if I really want another baby, as all this has questioned how I feel.

But what Im trying to say is, I understand the feeling of nothing happening, I had it for about 7 / 8 months when I couldnt fall, but hold in there. Others have there BFPs and moved on and your time will come, as will all of ours when the times right, your not the only one let behind at the mo. Just dont feel so down as this really wont help.
Lots of dust for a sticky BFP for all of us soon xxxxxx

 

[Tanya4beauty]

Thanks ladies, need to pull myself together and stop thinking about it so much!! My best friend doesn't help as she doesn't understand. She fell first time with both hers and whenever I talk to her about it I feel like she's written me off already. She constantly bangs on about adoption and ivf so she doesn't help me feel positive!!
Nevermind have a christening today so get the cuddle my friend bubba. That'll do for now.
The very best of luck to all you girls and sorry for what some of you have been through, that must be devastating. Xxx

 

[BabyBrain]

Hun you bought tears to my eyes with this. Within the first 6 years of me ttc 8 babies were born to my sisters and best friend. They all fell really quickly and then all started getting together to do stuff with the babies and I was never invited or asked (unless they wanted something). An they all thought that being godmother would make up for it but it never has no matter how much I love the kids.

Ttc is very lonely even at the best of times. I didn't have anyone to talk to without giving me stupid advice or looking at me like I was not built right. Wish I'd known about this place. It's very hard but try to keep your chin up and looking forward to the future. It will happen one day and you are getting some help with your oh's medical problems. Think positive xxxxxxxx

 

[Daisy2011]

Hi i think what you are going through is the normal natural reaction to the long term hopes and stress and disapointment. I got out and everywhere there are prams and babies and bumps.
Its difficult , i feel a rising panic to see months passing- but this is what drives you to go on. If you wearnt bothered you wouldnt try and you have been in it to win it.
My desperation drove me to find a donor becuase mr right doesnt exist and ive spent 20 years waiting, I accept that its my misery often that drives me forward.
So cry, fester, feel bad and feel the weight of how unfair it is, then dry your eyes and do something positive because the only thing you can do is to keep trying.

Heres to a happier week
Love Daisy

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

Hey there x I also feel quite alone on here sometimes, I don't know anyone who lost their baby so late and is ttc... All the ladies I was in tri 1 and 2 with are in tri 3 now and will be having their babies in January... I am dreading January

We just gotta keep strong and remember that though no one has been through the same as us... We are still all in together

Funny how I am dreading being pregnant but also crave it so much x x hugs to you x x

 

[Emily0505]

Awww hun, you are never alone on here! The ladies on here no matter who you are or who they are, or how well they know you will always be supportive!

I do know how you feel though, I don't know anyone really well on here but do recognise names etc and people are familiar. Although I am over the moon for the ladies who have had their BFP's I am sad to see them leave ttc as it feels like everyone I do know is leaving!

Big hugs and chin up sweetheart!

XX

 

[Tanya4beauty]

Thank you so much everyone, your kind words mean so much. I'll be ok, you have to be don't you?! And why is it everyone says stop trying and it will happen?! Or try to not think about it and then it will happen?!
Umm if only it was that easy!!
Hope everyone has had a lovely Sunday to you all xxxx

 

[KMG]

Hi,

I know how you feel i have not been on the site for over a week because i was feeling really low and struggling with all my friends and family making announcements. It makes it worse when they turn to you and say "your next" or "when are you going to try" you want to scream at them!

My mum does not help everytime i phone her she expects me to give her the "good news"

I also joined in May so right there with you

xx

 

[DaisyPurple]

I'm still here xx

 

[itisbabytime]

i feel the same, when i joined, babybo, kanga86 and taffy rose were ladies i followed and we shared info and the high and lows and now they have all moved to Tri1 this month and I am still in F**CKING TTC. I bareyl sign on here anymore cause even though I am so happy for them and everyone else I honestly cannot take another dissopintment in the form of AF