Feeling Lonely

[Jade&Evie]

My OH has had to go back to work for a couple of days- he's off next week again thank goodness.

It's our first day at home without him and I didn't realise how much I was leaning on him last week. Since 7.30 I have just been missing him like crazy. I can't shake off a feeling that he won't come back or that something is going to happen to him.

Until Evie was born I hadn't realised quite how much he meant to me. I loved him; but it's nowhere near as much as I love him now.

This morning I think it hit me that for the next 18 years (at least!) my job is to look after Evie. There's no 4 week notice period if I don't like it! It scares the shit out of me. She's so dependant on me and at the moment I feel like I am dependant on my OH- I've never been like that before.

I'm perservering with B-Feeding but it's still hard- I almost gave up yesterday but after watching her gulp down formula I realised that I didn't want to give up just yet.

I just wanted to get it off my chest. HV is coming round to weigh Evie today so I'm going to go and clean myself up!

 

[newmum]

After my LO was born I wrote a similar thing. I hated when OH left for work and would have a sinking feeling of dread thinking I wouldn't be able to manage if she started screaming and not stopping. And I also felt the same about if something happened to him and it made me cry loads. I really leaned on him more than I thought I would need to when I was pregnant.
It is hard when these feelings come on top of everything else like trying to sort out feeding, sleeping and realising that you never get a break from them ever. It took me ages to realise that in a way I kind of expected my LO to finish in the evening like a normal job ...now I do night shifts

I think it took about 3-4 months for me to feel more normal after I had her and then 6 months to feel like I was coping properly. Just wanted to send these and let you know that you are not the only one to feel these things. Think you will find lots of others on here were the same.

 

[Emma58]

The first day is the hardest but babies keep you so busy the day flies by. When my OH went back to work he was working 12 hr shifts and I hated it but before i knew it he was back home.

Explain how you feel to your HV she might be able to tel you of any local baby groups the best thing to do is get yourself out and not be stuck in at home.

 

[daftscotslass]

Don't worry hun I'm exactly the same. I haven't been away from OH for more than a couple of hours since the 10th of April as he's been either off or working from home. To be honest I'm dreading him going back next week I've been doing all the baby care and housework for the last couple of weeks during the day but just having the company is nice.

 

[GBLiz]

it is daunting. My OH has gone back to work also doing 12 hour shifts and i have nobody there to pass the baby onto for 5 minutes...and everything you try to do is interrupted by a little crying bundle....

the good thing is you've realised how much you value your OH - so show it....the worst thing for couples in my opinion is not to show appreciation for each other . Theres nothing wrong with being emotionally dependent on him at this time

 

[Sage]

I told my friend at the time that i kept thinking something was guna happen to my OH and she just laughed at me which was very hurtful but i just couldnt help it so i know EXACTLY what your going through!

In the first couple weeks i was very emotional and overwhelmed and sometimes even thought i wanted things to go back to how they were, then felt awful for thinking that! Its a very scary time the first few weeks especially when OH goes back to work. its so life altering and your hormones are going bonkers!

Just make sure you have plenty of naps!

In no time at all you'll be super mum and doing a million things at once with ease and shouting at OH for being too slow!

 

[Krystal]

The first few weeks are scary and your feeling completely normal. I did too. It does get easier and you will get more confident and things just seem to click into place

 

[Redshoes]

Aaawwwwwww inforabumpyride, please have some
It's normal to be scared, it is a massive blessing to have a baby and it certainly doesn't come with a routine and day by day guide, you have only just brought her into the world, go easy on yourself and if you feel low just let it all out and know that things will get easier

Sometimes they get harder again, but then they get easier again, it is like a rollercoaster to be cliche about it, but there are always ways to help yourself feel better about the low bits. Talk to your OH, HV, best friend, ladies on here, they WILL help support you through the hard times, and enjoy the great times with you too

Check out local groups in your area, for when you're feeling up to it, go out and meet other Mummy's and make new friends to stand in for OH being at work, and trust me, you will find that your little Evie will become a very good friend to you too, she will keep you company, amongst other things Very best wishes

 

[clarey]

I felt exactly the same, put it down in part to all those hormones. I slept as much as I could during the day at first, so I wasnt just sitting there missing him while LO slept, then my Mum came and stayed for a week and looked after us all really, and was company for me. I felt so much better doing little things with her like going for a coffee or a walk together and it gave me more confidence to carry on doing those things after she went home. You will prob feel less lonely when your LO is awake a bit more and is a bit more interactive too in the meantime hang out on here! x